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A New Breed: Epilogue

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By TCPolecat7   |   
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Epilogue


"The End of the Beginning"




            Darkness.


            Darkness was good, it was soothing, it was comforting… it was easy to hide in. Right now, that was all she wanted, something easy to hide in. The Everfree forest was always good for that, even if it was as dangerous to her imps as it was to any pony who dared wander in.


            "Stop it," she chided herself, "They aren't your imps anymore."


            The figure lurched drunkenly into the stone castle, weaving about a handful of fallen stone blocks on the floor. She had shed her imp form in her flight, it was worthless now, and far inferior to her original shape. Shedding the form had allowed some of the injuries to be stripped away, but her left side was still covered in painful scorches and burns. The left foreleg was a stump at the knee, resulting in a drunken gait that she was helpless to correct. Despite that, she was an inky black alicorn adorned with the remnants of partially destroyed silver armour, her helm lost somewhere to reveal the black spiral of her horn. Still, she would rather to be an injured Nightmare Moon than a dead Imp.


            Her wings flared in an attempt to steady herself, and she instantly regretted the motion. Pain lanced through her left wing at the very thought of moving. Pain was followed by anger, a hissing growl at her weakness. Fury at the mare… no, the MARES, who did this to her. Frustration flooded her, that she could come so close to finally taking Equestria for herself… and now? All her planning, all her patience, and all her work… gone. She was no better off than when she started.


            She stumbled through the relic of days gone past, the Castle of the Sister Princesses, the royal home of Celestia and Luna back in ancient days. The castle Luna had lived in when she first poisoned the mare's mind and took over. Make the night last forever? Sure, why not, it was a good enough ruse. She just wanted to rule, everypony bowing and scrimping to her. To HER! Not that foal Celestia or her weakling sister.


            Nightmare Moon stomped a hoof angrily, satisfied with the shudder of the room about her. Even as injured as she was, she still had strength, which comforted her. The Everfree was full of wild magic, and her understanding of how to absorb magic would allow her to feed upon it to heal her body. It might take years, but "they" had not destroyed her yet.


            The Nightmare stumbled slightly as she pushed through a doorway. The Throne-room was as a dilapidated shell of the grandeur she remembered, but it would serve her purpose. Yes, it would be an appropriate place to rest, to heal. It was far enough from the entrances that she would be forewarned of anypony sneaking in, and far enough within that she would have many options in which to either hide or attack from. There was just one thing wrong…


            Who was the pony sitting on HER throne?


            "I wondered if you'd make it," the strange pony said, and the Nightmare stumbled closer.


            "I know you…" she hissed, eyes narrowing.


            "Yes, you should," he said with a grin, and the white stallion leaned forward on the throne, "I fought many of your Imps."


            "Ultrapony," the Nightmare growled, stumbling again, "Are you here to finish me off and claim the glory for yourself?"


            "No."


            Nightmare Moon blinked as she looked at the stallion on her throne, and sat down on the stone floor facing him, "No? Are you not part of Luna's special 'Agency'?"


            "I WAS a member," he chuckled mirthlessly, "We had a parting of ways."


            "Oh?" Nightmare Moon considered, "Let me guess… Clockwork Key... Dragonfly. My spies related the aftermath of your battle to me."


            "I see," he answered sourly.


            "That's the first time anypony hurt you, isn't it?" Nightmare continued, "Even my Imps couldn't get through to you. But she laid you up in the hospital for severe burns. You heal quickly…"


            "I do at that," he growled, "And now, I want revenge."


            "You're smart, Sunset Sparkle," she smirked, "What do you think I can give you?"


            "Your power."


            Nightmare Moon stopped suddenly and looked at him, her eyes meeting his, searching, "Yes… Yesss… you have the anger, the hatred… the darkness."


            "Then you understand."


            "You want to replace Luna as my host," she cackled, "To become one entity, with the same goals."


            "Yes. That is what I want," Ultrapony's eyes flashed.


            "What will you do after you have your revenge?"


            "Whatever you want," he grinned, "Maybe it's time Equestria had a king instead of these silly Princesses."


            "I think" she grinned, "we might have a suitable arrangement."







            "You asked for me?"


            Celestia lowered the scroll she had been reading and smiled over the edge of it, "Come in."


            The cyan mare pushed her way into the room, her eyes widening as she drank it in. The room was warm, cozy almost, with a studious feel to it. Wooden shelves and tables lay scattered about the room, filled or covered in various books and papers, all sorted neatly in stacks. The room was lined with windows, all of which were open to allow the cool evening air to wash through the room like a comforting wave. The mare noted a chest to one side, standing out from the more relaxed furnishings due to the severity of its lock.


            She pulled her attention back to the Princess before her, and bowed.


            "You may rise, Trixie," Celestia said softly, "Come, join me. I have plenty of tea for both of us, and biscuits if you are hungry."


            Trixie frowned, not entirely sure what this was about, but picked her way over to the table and sat down on a comfortable looking pink cushion, and looked up at the Princess.


            "You're wondering why I summoned you," Celestia said softly.


            "Yes, Princess," the mare answered, "Tome thinks… I think my imagination runs away with me, for the only reason that rises to my mind would be petty after the events of these past months."


            Celestia couldn't help but smile impishly, "You think I would take revenge for my late student?"


            Trixie flushed and looked down, "Well… "


            Celestia chuckled, "Twilight Sparkle was far wiser than even she herself believed. She never held a grudge against you, Trixie. If anything, she was frustrated by your inability to see beyond your own selfish desire to feed your ego. She felt sorry for you, because you were always so alone. Twilight spent many words extolling your virtues, and lamented how they were wasted in your limited vision and scope."


            Trixie wanted to be angry at that description. Pity… the mare shuddered and bit her lip against the sharp response that bubbled up in her mind, her face flushed with anger.


            To her surprise, she found Celestia's wing encircling her, a warm blanket against the cool air. Her head came up, and she found herself looking up into Celestia's eyes, the Goddess regarding her gently.


            "There is pain in your eyes," Celestia said gently, "The knowledge that her words are true, and yet you despise them. You rail against them…"


            "Yes," Trixie answered in a whisper.


            "You have proven my late pupil wrong, you know," Celestia said, her voice gentle and serene, "You rose above. You found your virtue, you found friends, and you became so much more than when you started this journey. It took you longer to reach it than a lot of other ponies, but you made it. You sacrificed, you gave of yourself, and you earned every accolade you were given… Lady Trixie."


            The mare blushed and looked up at the Princess again, "I somehow doubt you summoned me to alternately tear down and flatter my ego."


            Celestia laughed, her wing flaring slightly, "Luna was worried that your time with the Nightmare had dome some permanent damage to you… not to mention your brief time as an Alicorn. It is good to see you still have your spirit. More, these circumstances have revealed an interesting possibility to me, one I would discuss with you in more detail."


            "I… I am not sure I follow?"


            "You are immortal, Trixie," Celestia said softly, pausing for a sip of tea before continuing, "You have a gift that only my sister and I have. You are an immortal unicorn. This means you will potentially live as long as my sister and I, and that places you in a rare position… the position of potentially becoming a third Princess."


            "Me?!?" Trixie squeaked, her mind immediately conjuring images of servants and toadies and ponies catering to her every whim.


            "You," Celestia chuckled, "It would be a tremendous sacrifice, but given all you have done already, I do not believe such generosity is beyond you. The element you earned proves to me that you would give of yourself to the extent my sister and I need to on a daily basis."


            "The job isn't as cushy as it appears then?" Trixie asked cautiously.


            "No, my little pony, it isn't."


            "I… I would be interested but," Trixie hedged, "I don't want to leave my friends either."


            "You wouldn't," Celestia said softly, "You'd have to spend a long time, multiple generations at least, as my apprentice. You would have a great deal to learn before you'd ever be ready for your first tentative steps into that realm."


            "You weren't kidding when you said there would be sacrifices, were you?"


            "No, Trixie, I was not," Celestia smiled, nibbling the edge of a biscuit.


            "I…" Trixie swallowed, "I would be honored to take the role of your apprentice."


            "I had hoped you would say that," Celestia said warmly, "As such, I will give you your first mission… your first lesson."


            Trixie looked at the Princess curiously, cocking her head, "What is that, Princess?"


            "Your predecessor, Twilight Sparkle, would send me frequent letters on her research into friendship, and the magic it held," the Princess said, "Given that you are taking her place, I think it only fitting that you continue her research with your own experiences."


            "You want me to report to you about the magic… of friendship?" Trixie asked carefully, both bewildered and bemused.


            "Precisely."


            "I… I will do my best, Princess."


            "That, my student, is all I ask."







            Galaxi smiled.


            The chamber about her had finally been completed in the weeks and months since the attack, since the "Battle of the Monument". It somehow felt far less oppressive than before, and yet still as solemn and somber.


            The most notable change was the ceiling, which now opened into the sky. Natural light filtered down from the open roof that let the wind rustle through the stonework building. A pair of glass eaves protected against the rain, but they were separated to give the shrine an airy feel that had been missing from the previous incarnation. In a way, Galaxi felt it was Luna making a teasing reference to the fact that Tome had blown off the roof during the attack.


            The monument had been restructured to a more circular building from the original cramped feeling hall it had started as. A few benches had been added for ponies to sit and lounge amongst the monuments to the fallen Agents. In the center rested the Obelisk, never moved from its original position, still bearing its solemn list of Agents who perished in the war against the Nightmare. Now…


            Now it was over. At least Galaxi hoped it was over. No more names would go onto that black slab. No more statues would need to be built. No more sacrifices would need to be made. Oddly, that was less comforting to the mare than it should have been. While her powers had not vanished as she originally feared, she couldn't help but wonder if that meant a larger threat was lurking around the corner, or if the Nightmare had somehow escaped despite the Princesses' efforts to confirm her final demise.


            Or was it because she was now the embodiment of magic now? She had been forced, with help from Princess Luna, to relearn all she thought she knew about her powers. She had to re-asses her psychic abilities and realize they were actually an extension of powerful magic. Even her vision, enhanced since she came to bear the Element, had become a mystic sight that was on par with what most ponies had for normal vision; Even allowing her to see in color now.


            Yet somehow she felt like there was another horseshoe yet to fall.


            Galaxi sighed and looked around at the statues. She recognized very few of them, but her eyes fell upon the massive statue of Pyre. One of the rare ponies who earned the largest size of statue, with a small plaque stating how she sacrificed herself, taking a blow that surely would have killed Princess Luna. She turned away to prevent tears from overwhelming her. She barely knew the flaming pony, which somehow made her sacrifice worse, as if she somehow failed as a pony.


            Her eyes fell upon the opening to the "Chamber of The Six", and she forced herself to walk through, distancing herself. She needed to be strong… for her. Galaxi wouldn't be any good to her if she were in tears herself.


            Stepping into the restructured Chamber of The Six, she couldn't help but gaze upwards at the open ceiling again. The light cascaded down amongst the remade statues that rested there, each one with a small littering of flowers resting upon their base. Luna herself worked with the sculptors to get the statues restored and recreated in all their former glory, and each adorned with a new plaque as well. With a smile, Galaxi couldn't help but inspect the reworked Plaque for Lady Dash, which Clockwork had insisted reflect the true nature of her passing. Galaxi had to admit, it felt more appropriate.


            "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize anypony was in here," a voice came, and as Galaxi turned, the two mares recognized each other.


            "Tome?" Galaxi asked, surprised.


            "Hello Galaxi," the cyan unicorn answered with a smile, "Tome hopes she's not intruding."


            "Not at all, I'm just waiting for Clockwork to finish."


            "Clockwork?" Tome asked, looking back over her shoulder, "Where is she?"


            "She's saying goodbye to her brother," Galaxi answered softly, "Finally. She's been carrying that burden since she first joined the team…"


            Tome nodded sagely, "The Nightmare's 'dream' probably made her realize she had to let go."


            Galaxi nodded, "So why are you here?"


            Tome smiled, "Tome is leaving a few flowers here is all. Despite what they said to Tome, she still feels the need to visit from time to time, if only to remind herself and to thank them."


            "Remind yourself of what?" Galaxi asked curiously.


            "That they forgave her," she answered, her gaze moving to the statue of Twilight Sparkle, "That they believed in her enough to grant her the Element of Generosity, and that the Princess believed in her enough to make Tome her new apprentice. Now she just has to believe in herself…"


            Galaxi leaned gently against the cyan mare, "We're here to help, Trixie."


            Tome smiled, "Tome knows. For now, you have somepony else to help."


            Galaxi looked back to the entrance of the chamber to see Clockwork standing there, looking shaky. Her face was covered in tears, and her eyes were puffy from crying. Galaxi wasted no time rushing over and throwing her forelegs about the smaller mare, hugging her tightly. A moment later, Trixie joined them, adding her own hooves to the hug for several long moments.


            "He'd be proud of you Clockwork," Galaxi said softly.


            "I know," she answered, "I just wish he were here to share this."


            







            "You rang, Princess?"


            Luna turned, her expression dark as she looked at the entering pony, "Yes. We've got activity in the North East, just shy of the Unregistered Colonies."


            The steel gray pony frowned for a moment, shifting unsteadily on his hooves "Near my home, Stalliongrad, ya?"


            "Precisely," Luna said as she turned to face the bay window.


            "No offense, Princess, but why tell me?" Skillet asked carefully, "I am… retired, ya?"


            "No," Luna said, carefully keeping her back to him, "You are being returned to active duty as of today."


            "Eh?" the stallion asked, confused, "I am eager to help, but I am no longer metal. I doubt throwing food at them will work…"


            "Oh don't worry, you will have a most important role here on the team…"


            "Ya?"


            The Princess grinned broadly…







            "Vhat iz it you are vanting?"


            "Your time… your attention… and your help," the half concealed pony answered. The smile that played over his lips was anything but warm. Despite the half light hiding his face, he wore a black suit-like jacket and a white shirt that Burner guessed might be silk, and a rust-red tie. If anything, he looked quite professional, despite having appeared rather suddenly from nowhere.


            "Vhat 'help' iz it you require?" the orange unicorn demanded, "I am a buzy pony." Professor Burner turned away from this strange pony, going back to his cobbled together lab. It was in a long abandoned section too near some old battle lines at the edge of Fillydelphia. The place reeked of mold and was constructed of mildly damp concrete walls that still bore signs of ages old graffiti. Scattered about the hovel were the remnants of the Professor's current project, some sort of scorpion-like robot.


            "Yes, I can see that," the shadowed pony chuckled, "Busy losing."


            The orange unicorn whirled on the newcomer, "You dare…?!?"


            "I dare, Professor Burner, because I know what you need, and I can give you what you want," the stallion interrupted, "I dare, because there are even larger stakes at play. I dare, because I know we need each other, just as we will need the other allies I gather."


            "Iv you are attempting to be clever…"


            "No, Professor Burner, such games are beneath me," the pony answered, and leaned forward, the harsh light slashed across his face, revealing the haphazard black stripes on his white coat, "My plans are far greater than that."


            "Zen vhat doez a Zebra vant vith Profezzor Burner?" the stallion demanded, looking less certain now.


            "Your cooperation," the zebra answered, "The Princess is once again in possession of ponies that embody the Elements of Harmony. This stands against everything I have spent my life working for."


            "I do not underztand," Burner stated carefully.


            "Notice, if you will, that the ponies chosen by the elements are all female," the zebra noted, his mouth twisting with distaste, "This is not the first time that has happened, despite my contacts within the palace attempting to force males upon the team. Circumstances removed them from the line-up, leaving me no choice but to conclude that the Elements of Harmony are a purely feminine power, as I suspected."


            "Zo?" Burner asked irritably, "Vat doez zat have to do vith anyzing?"


            "So, it means that we stallions are ignored. This land is ruled by a pair of Princesses. Not a King, or even a Prince, but Princesses," the Zebra pointed out, "More, there is a birth imbalance between the two sexes. For every ten mares, there are but four stallions born. That is a severe imbalance, Professor Burner, as you must have noticed."


            "Yez yez, I have notized zis," the orange stallion conceded, "But zis iz how it haz alvayz been."


            "Exactly," the zebra noted, his smile widening. Burner shifted nervously, finding that smile unsettling, "Therefore, we stallions must endeavor to… fix the problem."


            "And how do you plan to do zat?"


            "The first step is to ensure the Elements of Harmony are destroyed, never to be heard from again. This, of course, necessitates the demise of their current bearers," the zebra explained, "That is something I imagine you would want to take part in, given your… desire to eliminate Dragonfly."


            "You have my attention…" Burner said, his head cocked to the side.


            "Good," the zebra smiled, "Keep out of sight. I need to recruit additional stallions for our… efforts. We can move forward once I have gathered enough capable ponies, then we can begin plans to remove the troublesome mares."


            "You might look for ze 'Ultrapony', he haz a grudge vith Dragonfly az vell."


            "I will keep my eyes open for him. For now, Professor Burner, stay out of sight and remain well hidden. I will come for you when the time is right."


            Burner had been about to answer when the Zebra extended a hoof to touch the solid wall behind him. The concrete wall was solid rock, but it rippled under the touch, as if it suddenly turned to water. With an adjustment of his tie, the Zebra then literally walked through the wall. Before Burner's eyes, the wall stilled again. He couldn't help but wander close to push his hoof against the spot.


            It was solid.







            "What's our ETA?"


            "Another twenty minutes," Dragonfly called back.


            "I have to hand it to you," Flourish said, smiling, "This is a pretty unique chariot."


            "Comfy too," Tome chuckled as she settled into a plush leather cushion.


            Clockwork grinned under her helmet. Using the old plans for the automated chariots, she'd come up with a design that worked modularly with her power-armour. She was still "out front", like a normal chariot, but inside an enclosure that gave her a full view of what was before her while protecting her from most attacks. More, she was able to work in dozens of sensor suites far in advance of what her armour was carrying, which gave her a highly detailed display through her helm.


            From the cockpit (as she called it) the chariot widened, easily giving enough room for the entire team, plus guests. She made it high enough that Princess Celestia could ride in it if needed, but armoured enough to withstand one of her own attacks head-on. She even managed to slip in medical and armour repair stations for any emergencies. Of course, all of this had a massive weight cost to it, easily making this "chariot" heavier than even a dozen pegasi could pull…


            This is why the craft had been outfitted with engines that dwarfed most ponies, and stiff wings that allowed it to carry its own weight in the air while moving. The chariot could reach and maintain Rainboom speed nearly indefinitely, making it the first vehicle capable of such a feat in all of Equestria, which was something the short mare was quite proud of.


            "Anypony know what we're getting into?" Spectrum asked over their new radio links.


            "I'll let your coordinator explain," Princess Luna answered.


            "I thought the Princess was our coordinator?" Filigree asked carefully.


            "She was, ya?" a familiar voice answered over the line.


            "SKILLET!!" several of the ponies cried out at once.


            "Ya!!" the stallion cried, "Princess Luna just told old Skillet he is new team coordinator. With Cream Swirl here helping me run the monitors, we will have your flanks covered, ya? Now then, I have your mission briefing here."


            Spectrum couldn't help but chuckle, "Welcome to the team Ironjaw."


            "No, is just Skillet now," he responded..


            "Very well then, Skillet, what is our mission?"


            "Big problem in Stalliongrad," Skillet informed them, "Seems to be a trio of 'Special' ponies causing the majority of trouble, ya? However, that is not all. We are unsure if ponies are bad, or if they are trying to combat the other threat there… a rogue Destroyer Imp who seems to be intent on visiting the commercial district."


            "So a lone Destroyer Imp, and potentially a trio of troublemakers or rogues trying to help," Flourish summarized.


            "Ya." Skillet answered, "You're nearing target drop zone now."


            "You heard the pony…" Spectrum told the group.


            "…let's go make some noise."






THE END


Book I: A New Breed

© 2011 - 2020 TCPolecat7
MLP (c) Hasbro

The End: Book I: A New Breed

This should answer all the questions I received about what would happen next, or if the girls would be back. After all, for there to be a "book 1", there must eventually be a book 2, yes?

As always, comments and feedback are appreciated and encouraged.

- Polecat
Comments47
anonymous's avatar
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suddenshadow's avatar
I can't believe ultrapony would do that. he seems like superboy-prime reckless, angry, overconfident, but immensely fast, strong and ultimately good .

Over ten years on the battlefield can warp someone, how many friends did he watch die and be helpless to save? He grew up with an absent mother always hearing about the war and given his power how could he not fight? I believe as time went on he isolated himself from his teammates so there deaths would have less impact and increased his ego to help cope with the strain, we shaw how the war changed the other characters.

He couldn't stop while so many cheered him on and he constantly hears them chanting for more in his head (i think). He fought for a better world for his daughter to live in where she wouldn't have to fight and watch people die like he did.

Ultrapony, father and son of an element of harmony can be counted on to do the right thing.                    
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
For one, Ultrapony was never "good", he was "selfish". It was always about him... He is the worst of his mother made flesh, in a sense.

And secondly...  read book 2. It explains WHY he did that and what he hoped to accomplish... and how it backfired on him. And how, maybe, he manages to do something about it anyway. I'll look forward to your thoughts come the last chapter of that book. ;)

- Polecat
suddenshadow's avatar
Sorry, I just Feel like he was the only 'golden age' hero in the story.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
While he was inspired by one, he didn't have the personality of one....  Ultrapony was essentially Superman with too much ego.

- Polecat
DracoDei's avatar
DracoDeiHobbyist Writer
Did we ever find out what Rainbow Dash's new plaque read?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not specifically, but given Clockwork dictated what was put on it from what she learned from talking to Dash's soul, I think you'd have a pretty good idea of what's on it. ;)

- Polecat
Bladeswipe101's avatar
Confound you and your addictive story :x but definetley in my top 3 fave fics. Loved every moment and someone seriously has to make fanart of this i really wanna see the dragonfly armour (mk II) :D
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*bows* Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it. You are right tho, there has been no arts for it yet... eventually I myself might have to fix that.... eventually. As odd as it sounds, I'm not inclined to tho, I'd rather see what it inspires in others through just words alone.

- Polecat
Bladeswipe101's avatar
FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE i wish i could draw as i would have lept on this and tried something but i cant draw to save my own life and i cant wait for book 2 :squee: :D
aroras's avatar
arorasHobbyist Artist
there's a book TWO!!! i know you're busy, but could you send me the link when you upload book two? this was amazing and i would be so sad if i missed it.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There WILL be a book two, there is not one already. ;)

- Polecat
aroras's avatar
arorasHobbyist Artist
good, 'cuz this one rocked.
Jiro-Dyne's avatar
Get working on it! D: Work Work WORK!
Nova225's avatar
>Still, she would rather to be an injured Nightmare Moon than a dead Imp.
-Ah... the ''Evil never dies'' thing, I see ? *shrug*

>"I do at that," he growled, "And now, I want revenge."
-Sorry, but no... Nightmare is actually THE reason, THE cause, THE instrument of death that killed his MOTHER, and the friends of his mother ! ...and probably other relatives and friends that we don't know about.
There's no way in hell, that he would put ALL THAT aside, to go with her, just to get revenge on Key.
It's like siding with the murderer that killed your wife and your newborn child, just to get revenge on your boss because he fired you... It just doesn't (shouldn't) work (right) that way.

Also... it's not like, say, in Spiderman, when The Symbiote merges with Eddie Brock (here, I'm using it, from the more recent Spiderman stuffs, where I remember that Eddie was, at some point, quite bitter at Petter/Spiderman). 'This' evil/dark/thing creature hadn't killed his family, friends, etc, so in this case there's nothing preventing him from accepting this evil/dark/corrupted power.
(Just a small example to cover something.)

-----

>that places you in a rare position… the position of potentially becoming a third Princess."
-Well, I do suppose it's a good thing for this world. :)
But, I wonder what would she be the Princess-Goddess of ? Sun, Moon... Goddess of Magic ? (Heh, now I'm thinking of Mystra, from the Forgotten Realms series. What an awesome series of books this was/still is.)

>Even allowing her to see in color now.
-Psychic-o-vision, now in HD ! ;)

>With a smile, Galaxi couldn't help but inspect the reworked Plaque for Lady Dash, which Clockwork had insisted reflect the true nature of her passing. Galaxi had to admit, it felt more appropriate.
-*cough-cough* ... *cough*. Sorry, had a cat in my throat... my cat is shedding, right now.

>she still feels the need to visit from time to time, if only to remind herself and to thank them."
-Yay. Humble Trixie is good.

... Also, hurray for Galaxi-Key :) ...

-----

>the ponies chosen by the elements are all female," the zebra noted, his mouth twisting with distaste,
>despite my contacts within the palace attempting to force males upon the team.
>"Therefore, we stallions must endeavor to… fix the problem."
-Well... that one plot is getting very silly(not the good kind) very fast ? A sexist male-centrist zebra, that wants to kill the 6 female Bbearers AND the Princesses... because he doesn't like that there's more female than male PONIES.
(He seems to forgot that there's not just ''ponies'' in the world ? But, considering the silliness of that one plot, he probably doesn't care.)
Also, the fact that he allies himself with 'Burner' doesn't help with his credibility, let's just say.

>With an adjustment of his tie, the Zebra then literally walked through the wall.
-'G-Man' reference from half-life ?

-----

Well, the separate parts of this chapter were relatively interesting except for Ultrapony... I mean, it would have worked quite fine, *IF* Nightmare(and her horde of Imps, by extension) hadn't been the DIRECT cause of his mother's (and closest friends) death. It defies reasonable logic. And, the thing with the zebra is just a tad too much silly, me think.

Anyway, forgetting a, hum, minor problem near the beginning... the whole thing was pretty much a great story, all things considered. Clearly built around a super-hero/mutant idea, but with its own things too (plus being pony-based, of course).

I suppose, seeing the 'Book I' at the end, that there might be a 'Book II' in a distant future... Dark-Ultrapony and Sexist-Zebra (yeah, I'm gonna call him that, I think) being the new bad guys, but, well... Honestly, I'm strongly convinced that Ultrapony's *willing* corruption by the entity that killed his family/friends need to be re-thought. For Sexist-Zebra, well, I kinda have the feeling that they will be the silly-goofy group of villains of the story... kinda like the 'Brotherhood of Mutants'(I think it was their name) in the *new* X-Men series (X-Men: Evolution).

... I think that's all, for now ...
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Evil never dies as easily as we think it should... that's part of what makes it evil and why there always needs to be those who stand up against it.

There's more going on there than I revealed at this point. Most of what you brought up is fodder for future expansion on it. There is a method to my madness... even if it doesn't agree with yours. ;)

I don't think any of them have decided that. But I wager she'd be around also as a "back-up" in case something goes wrong and/or they need a day off. Either way, that is many MANY centuries (possibly even millennia) in the future.

Psychic-o-vision has been upgraded to magic-o-vision. ;)

Yeah yeah, that's all YOU buddy... ;)

Thank you, Trixie is still evolving as a pony... and Key & Galaxi are still friends.

This is actually partly in response to everyone who screamed early on about how the Element team became only female. You will here more of him, yes....

And yes, it's nice people are catching a few of my jokes like that. ;)

Ultrapony is all about anger, thus there isn't "pain" at his mother being killed so much as there is an all encompassing fury to destroy whoever (in his frail mind & ego) wronged him. You're altering his drive a touch from the way I attempted to write it. Now that said, there is a plausable argument why he would give up control... unless he thought he had an ace up his proverbial sleeve...

The Zebra came about from responses, and grew into a fully formed idea. You'll see more of him when I start doing the second book. I haven't totally outline his intent, but the male/female divide will play a role...

Either way, thank you for all of these very well thought out comments you've given me the entire way. If nothing else, they do make me step back in spots and re-assess some of the decisions and directions I took the story, or at the least try to explain some of my rationale better.

Hope to see you when book 2 hits (it'll be a little while tho, I really gotta recharge after that. I don't know how KKat and Somber do it with the 2 Fallout: Equestria stories... Kkat is near 40 chapters, and Somber just passed my chapter count without a pause... Where the eff do they find the energy?!?)

- Polecat
Starbolt65's avatar
Finally over. This was an awesome read and I enjoyed every moment (even shed some manly tears).
EPIC BROHOOF
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you, thank you very much. :)

- Polecat
Darklordcomp's avatar
DarklordcompHobbyist Writer
this was awesome
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

- Polecat
Darklordcomp's avatar
DarklordcompHobbyist Writer
i'm glad too.
vVKaptainVv's avatar
Book 1? You know what I like...
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*LOL*

- Polecat
Nooful's avatar
Well. After reading every update the day it came out. Its done... :(
owait book 2?
Fuck yeah
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm taking a break before Book 2 first tho. :)

- Polecat
anonymous's avatar
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