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A New Breed: Book 2: Chapter 18

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By TCPolecat7   |   
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© 2013 - 2020 TCPolecat7
MLP (c) Hasbro

And here we go, chugging right along and into eighteen! I had fun with this chapter, can you tell? It moves along so many little things in this story...

Anyway, as usual, comments, critiques, and feedback are welcome and appreciated. Enjoy!

- Polecat

G-doc link: [link]
Comments15
anonymous's avatar
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ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
Great chapter as always, glad to see our favorite micro pony pulling back from the abyss and Galaxi letting her mane down! Till next update.
Same Bat-Time!
Same Bat-Channel!
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aye, things are starting to come together... Glad you enjoyed it. :)

- Polecat
Siarnaq21's avatar
Siarnaq21Hobbyist General Artist
One thing that was a bit off in this chapter. When Verdigris starts explaining what's wrong with the Manticore, she uses technical terms like frequency, pulse rate, thermal charge, etc. She speaks as if she's had some experience working with machines, which she hasn't. I understand how her ability works, I know she's crazy smart, but she's just using vocabulary that a gryphon her age under her circumstances should not know.

/rant. Good chapter.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hrm. Good call, tho I admit because I did do technical work like that those things come second nature to me, so I probably didn't "dumb it down" enough for her. I tried... Surprised my editors didn't catch that. >.<

- Polecat
SandBlaster3000's avatar
SandBlaster3000Hobbyist Digital Artist
Many small moving parts you have here, but they're ticking along like... clockwork.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Da-dum *tish* :D

- Polecat
Iks83's avatar
page 8: "Thankfully Princess Luna authorized use that old factory again..."
page 11: something missing "...that you both might already in a relationship of some sort."
page 15: something wrong here I think "Remove some of the weaponry, and it might work, but then it would take a hit one what seemed to be its primary function."
page 24: "You are your team did it, you defeated the Nightmare."
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sheesh. I had 3 people comb it over for any little mistake.... still some stuff creeps through. Ah well, thanks!

- Polecat
Levia-the-Dragon's avatar
Hmm, that is an interesting (and slightly worrying) reaction from the Justice elements to Flourish.

Oh dears... Galaxi finally starts actively pursuing Clockwork's affections in the least effective way and Clockwork is predictably oblivious... surprisingly good advice from Flourish there.

Well... that's a little awkward having verdegris helping out the team that's being built to take down the element bearers...

Huh... well Clockwork is certainly at risk of going way too far there, noit quite healthy yet after all, interesting to see Mare Do-Well make an appearance, An intereessting power she has, good to see that legacy living on.

Oh you tease, maybe next time we'll finally get a real revelation about this prince dude then.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes, it was an interesting reaction, wasn't it?

Yup. Galaxi tried the "wrong way"... and Flourish speaking as the voice of experience. :)

Yeah, it is a little awkward... and will only get more awkward. ;)

Aye, Clockwork is at risk, but she's still safer doing that than she would be yelling at friends. And Mare-Do Well has had a rather odd back-story in all of this, not just from "in world", but how that character ended up how and where she is in the story. I might reveal it when I eventually reach the end.

Mwahaha. You won't be happy with that, the Prince is a revelation I'm saving. :evillaugh:

- Polecat
Levia-the-Dragon's avatar
Hmm, a lot of plates spinning there...
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
WOOT! Update! (does CoH: "Raise the Roof" Dance) I'll read it when I get home though!
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*chuckle* Yup, an update. :)

- Polecat
DarkonShadows's avatar
Good move Celestia, you'll be ready for it when it happens or will at least know if it has happened. Galaxi attempting to be attractive was a cute image, she should just try to be herself about it. I'm sure Clockwork appreciates personality over appearance anyway, as such I can agree with Flourish in the fact that Galaxi was trying too hard. The legend of Mare-Do-Well lives on, when the current Mare-Do-Well falls another shall take up her mantle, kind of like how Batman made a clone of himself to do the stuff he usually did till he got too old in Batman Beyond. Never is the clone the same as the original, but could be something greater or worse like the succession of Blue Beetles.

Last Thoughts: Is Verdigris a constructionist? Able to tear apart and put back together just about any object and given the materials could possibly even replicate or improve it? She'd practically be a version of Forge from the X-men only she's not hyper intelligent like Clockwork and is not an inventor, though she does have the exact mystical aspects about her that allow her to do and understand the most complex of things. A constructionist needs at least a visual blueprint to build from or else their talents would be hardly useable except for the keen spatial awareness of the surrounding architecture and said architectures structural integrity.

Also a heat laser is called a Maser, a microwave laser in the big difference that a regular laser is pure energy. The problem with a Maser is if it is shot at something heat resistant, like say a dragon for instance, it would very well lose forty to sixty percent of it's punch entirely given the variables in energy and heat conveyance.

Two little Red Flags went up this time, one is about The Prince and my knowledge thereof. The other was something related to the Elements of Justice. Also my previous Red Flag was actually about Eclipses scarring injury and not the mentioning of Verdigris.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Celestia can be smart too. ;) Galaxi's bit there was fun, as was Flourish's "intervention". Mare-Do-Well is perhaps the single most revised plot point of the entire story. You'll understand why if I ever post my notes on it (which won't be until after the finale is posted).

No, Verdigris' powers are purely her intelligence. Being able to fix things was just a beneficial aside to it.

I know what a Maser is, but it's a new invention for that version of Equestria, so it doesn't have an official name. ;)

One is about the prince and the knowledge you THINK you have. ;) As for the EoJ, I actually didn't plan that bit, it sort of wrote itself in there...

- Polecat
anonymous's avatar
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