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A New Breed: Book 2: Chapter 12

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By TCPolecat7   |   
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© 2012 - 2020 TCPolecat7
MLP (c) Hasbro

We're back with chapter 12! I'm sure this chapter will aggrivate a few people for how I handle Bottle Rocket, but I'll confess I planned this right from the start, so... yeah.

Anyway, Enjoy. As always comments, critiques, and feedback are welcome and encouraged.

- Polecat

G-docs link: [link]
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anonymous's avatar
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fotland42's avatar
Now, here's a question: had the armor not given out, allowing Clockwork to tackle Bottle as planned, he would surely have exploded and died, given the speed she was going. How would this have made her feel, as compared to her actually failing to do anything? I'm really not sure.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
She wasn't quite thinking logically. Anyway, some of that gets addressed a little later on... :)

- Polecat
SandBlaster3000's avatar
SandBlaster3000Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, Bottlerocket went out just like he said he would. Good thing Clockwork didn't catch him. At that speed the reactive blast would have liquefied her.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
She actually gets to address that problem later. Tho with the armour, if she pushed him, I think the armour would have been toast and she'd be in for a long stay in the hospital.

- Polecat
Iks83's avatar
a 20 foot drop? kinda... not much.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not a lot, but still could hurt yourself doing. 10 foot is about the usual limit someone can leap down from safely...

And... well, I don't remember where in this chapter I said that. O.o?

- Polecat
Iks83's avatar
Page 6: Bottle Rocket either didn’t notice, or ignored, her as he approached the ledge overlooking the
park. A cold chill ran through Clockwork as he slipped around the protective railing, looking down the
sheer twenty foot drop.

Maybe I understand the meaning wrong but isn't a sheer drop like... a lot? Also later you wrote he plummeted downwards. That also kinda implies a longer fall and 6 meters isn't that much. That's 1.1 seconds. True with the characters condition it didn't matter much if it was 6 meter or 60.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The word "sheer" in this case (a "sheer drop") doesn't refer to length, but to angle. Dictionary definition (via Dictionary.com) puts the 4th definition of the word "sheer" as "extending down or up very steeply; almost completely vertical: a sheer descent of rock." In short, it described the angle of the wall, not the length.

- Polecat
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
Why is it when ever I read Bunsen Burners dialouge I use the voice of Doofershmirtz from Phineas and Ferb? hehehe... BunsenBernerEvil Incorporated!!

I'll get you next time Agent Key!!... I could go on for hours! happy Thanksgiving!

A-GENT KEEEEEeeeyyy!!! (g-g-g-g-g)
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*LOL* I never even thought of that! Tho mostly because I've seen a sum total of 3 episodes of the show....

- Polecat
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
All of these smart people and their intelligent thing they say, guess that makes me the peanut gallery. I'm going to go sit in a corner unitl I think of something witty to say.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Personally, I'm happy for feedback form ANYONE, that includes you. :)

- Polecat
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
Still wondering about the "masculine" elements.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I ain't spoiling plot points. ;) They will be revealed more in time...

- Polecat
Nova225's avatar
>“Sweet Celestia, I didn’t think that was possible…” Flourish noted
>she could see the streamers of a second Rainboom barrier beginning to build across the front of the chariot.
-Well... for a single 'living/organic' being, one without a specific ''super-power'' for it, achieving Mach-2 WOULD be an impressive thing, but... here, Key is (assisted by) in a super technological ''power armor''. It's not that impressive, but I suppose this is a new thing for them, after all.

>but nothing else marked the final moments of one “Bottle Rocket” and his exit from ponykind. Only one pony witnessed it…
-And no*body* cared.
Success ! ...oh wait, no ? Totally the contrary in every definition of the word. -_-
Well... that was wholly disappointing and very pointless, really. At least... it was expected, I guess. That's AT LEAST that, if nothing else.

Story can finally continue now. Next : Bland bread and lukewarm water, or pizza ? Hard choice to make, right ? -_-

>This cost him response time, and opportunities to assist that he could see passing him by before he could get into position, much to his own frustration as well as his teammate’s.
-Bah... vaguely wondering, if the 'Bad Heroes' are ultimately gonna team up with the 'Good Heroes' against the 'True Evil' of the story... just thinking.

>to get the entire team around the Ponylands, and all of Equestria.
-So, Equestria(the *NATION* !) is now renamed ''Ponyland(s)'' or something ? Oook ? Riiiiiiight...
So much could be 'argumented' against that one line. -_-

>I mean seriously, that was the point?”
-''what was'', no ?

-----

Honestly ? It was a pretty good part... except that the whole thing with the ''suicidal pony'' can so very easily be brushed off. I really think it could have been used in some other, more satisfying or ''complex'', way.

Oh, and the thing with Equestria 'the Nation VS the ?World?', but it's dead-cold at this point... alternate universe and whatever, etc...
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, considering the only mare to pull it off was Rainbow Dash, and she died when it happened, it's understandably exceptionally rare. Plus, CW and her chariot didn't actually manage that feat. ;)

Yes, your dislike f the Bottle-Rocket arc was well know. As an amusing note, however, it was that arc that inspired the bulk and tone of Book 2 entirely. It was the first part of the story I conceptualized and hashed out in my head....

No comment. I will not give away plot points, right or wrong. ;)

Actually I've been running the "Ponylands" as the nation under Celestia's rule, and "Equestria" as the physical continent the Ponylands are on. There is a world beyond it, but this seemed the most logical way to handle it given how I initially put it in Book 1.

No, I think it was referring to a specific point. I'd have to hit the specific context to be sure tho.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I know you didn't care for Bottle Rocket's role in things, but there's more going on there.

- Polecat
Siarnaq21's avatar
Siarnaq21Hobbyist General Artist
Well, that flight was a bit on the intense side.

Flourish could have gotten out of there easily, I think. Teleport to the ground, but reorient the momentum upwards, bleed it off, and return to the ground. Similar to an idea I recently had that could eliminate the need for heelsprings in Portal.

And I just want to compliment Bottle Rocket's impeccable sense of timing. He must have put some serious maths behind that.

Only one error that I saw. A Reagent is a substance used to identify a chemical, while a Regent is a ruler, though usually a temporary one elected when a legitimate ruler is indisposed.

All in all, brilliant. Keep it up.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good, then I got the right feel for the flight.

Maybe, but I think those levels of speeds would have all but ripped flesh from bone the moment she hit unprotected air. Meaning, it was simply too fast to do without protection of some sort.

Actually, you can blame Clockwork for the timing, not Bottle Rocket. Plus, happinstance happens.

Doh. >.<

Glad you enjoyed it. :)

- Polecat
Siarnaq21's avatar
Siarnaq21Hobbyist General Artist
Well, surely Galaxi could stave off a measly breeze? It's a theory.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There's a massive difference between a "breeze" and a "rip your flesh from your bones wind". Further, as was noted in the story, even if she could protect them, if they impacted something (Remember, Flourish is a line of sight teleporter, she needs to see where she's going) because of the high rate of speed, it, and they, would be turned to so much paste.

- Polecat
Siarnaq21's avatar
Siarnaq21Hobbyist General Artist
You've already implied Galaxi doesn't only make spherical shields. A conical shield would divert the air quite nicely. They wouldn't be likely to hit anything while oriented straight up. As for line-of-sight, she only caught a glimpse of Zilch's hideout. I assume the chariot had windows?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Actually, the chariot only has one window, it's the one straight ahead that Clockwork is physically sitting in. Yes, windows weren't exactly high on her priority list when she built it.

And Galaxi could make a construct, yes. But she defaults to globe when uncertain.

- Polecat
Siarnaq21's avatar
Siarnaq21Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, stress. The ruiner of beautiful plans.
pcdeltalink036's avatar
A very good chapter as usual. Good to see Chase and Filligree working things out and yeah I'm with leviadragon99. I hope this trip will shed a little light on Eclipse's plans. Poor Clockwork, it pains me to see one of the best OC's I've ever come across in my reading of fan materials with so many issues going on. Then of course we have Burner.
"Are you able to adjust your pitch? When you scream, I mean."
Instant thoughts of "Dang it, now he's got ANOTHER weapon/tactic to try and take down Clockwork." I really can't wait to see him get owned later. Glad to see more of Spectrum in this chapter too as she's one of my favorites as well and...aw heck I love all the characters that make up the princess's team. I just feel like we haven't seen much of Spectrum really shining since she stood up to Filligree's father. Kaos is still a mystery to me. I'm wondering what would happen if he and Eclipse ended up meeting. Nothing good probably, unless they decided to annihilate each other that is. Overjoyed to see an update from a story I actually follow. Seems most of the stories I follow the writers fell off the face of the earth. Ah well, probably everyone just busy with life or that National Novel Writing Month is keeping them busy. Anyway, keep up the great work as always=)
anonymous's avatar
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