TCPolecat7's avatar

A New Breed: Book 2: Chapter 06

9 21 1K (1 Today)
By TCPolecat7   |   
© 2012 - 2020 TCPolecat7
MLP (c) Hasbro

Finally, here we are, Chapter 6. Sorry about the wait, I ran into some issues with the chapter I was working on (I'm working a number of chapters ahead) not wanting to sort out properly. But I got it all ironed out, and I can finally release this here chapter!

This chapter has a meta moment or two, as well as having a few darker than usual moments in it as well (Don't worry, It's still an adventure fic, not a grimdark fic). Clockwork's dream sequence is, as I'm sure some of you guessed, a homage to Fallout: Equestria and is littered with symbolism. As for the meta-moment, it's Clockwork mentioning how she almost wrote a fan-fic about the world. This is actually very true, I almost did write a FoE fanfic... but "A New Breed" happened, so instead of sitting around as some insanely popular (or, more likely, long forgotten) side-fic writer for FoE, I wrote A New Breed to try and explore the untapped (at that time) potential of super-hero ponies. Sometimes I second guess that decision, as New Breed never quite reached any real level of success beyond a small core of rather rabid fans.

Offside, I know some of you were expecting/hoping for some Sam Fischer antics from Flourish again, but I opted to focus more on Filigree and her perspective to solidify that side of the story. I apologize for those who feel gypped out of their stealth action fun...

Anyway, this is chapter 6, enjoy!

And as always, comments and critiques are welcome and encouraged.

- Polecat

G-doc link: [link]
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
VelcroHeart's avatar
Why isn't this on Fimfiction?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Because Fimfiction is a sewer and I dislike posting where they don't even try to police the stuff to prevent fictions that deal with the pony equivelent of child pornography.

- Polecat
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
"Sometimes I second guess that decision, as New Breed never quite reached any real level of success beyond a small core of rather rabid fans."

Rabid, huh? Well I have only one thing to say about that. Damn skippie, Super Hero ponies are best ponies
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*LOL* I try. but I never even came close to the sheer success that FoE did, or a majority of its spin-offs. Hell, I barely count as a successful fanfic...

- Polecat
ParticalMass's avatar
ParticalMassHobbyist Photographer
I've never read any of the Fallout: Equestria fics, I've only watched my cousin play the game. Is it worth the read, and any you recommend?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd recommend starting with the basic of it, Fallout: Equestria. Beyond that, it's pretty well written, especially later in the series, but it's all about how tolerant you are for the VERY grimdark universe... You'll also recognize some bits form Fallout 3.

- Polecat
Nova225's avatar
>Martial Arts and slippery mountain tops aren’t exactly the best combination it seems
-Oddly enough, I'm picturing 'the goat slipping off the side of the mountain', in that one Simpson episode (with the snowplow).

>“Apple Bloom… I don’t know. I guess she felt betrayed or something, because she stopped hanging out with me.
-Sorry, but I always found that theory relatively (quite) stupid...
I don't get why some people will automatically equal : ''If we don't we them MADLY hugging in every/half/1 full episode'' with ''then this means, without a doubt, that Applebloom dumped Twist''.
I mean, really ? It is weird to suppose that they were not friends anymore and/or not seeing each other at times, just because we don't see them *On Screen* ? -_-
It's Applebloom that we are talking about, not Diamond Tiara... Anyway...

>It was… years after that before we got together again.
-Years ?.. Yeah, right... Hardly believable.

>“That means, when I say no, I mean no.
-Ya heard tha lady : No means no. sounds a bit funny.

>to live in the Equestrian Wastleand
-''wasteland'' (small error).

>I actually considered trying to write my own fan-fiction but… well, all this happened.”
-... ... ...*Insert classic cricket sound effect*... [link]

>Apple Bloom started, but found her argument interrupted by a foreleg tightening about her neck….
-Isn't she, you know, like in the kitchen just 10Ft away ?
...Is this Fallout New Vegas or something (try to guess what's referenced) ?

>“Only a ninja would innerrupt breakfast!”
-'innerrupt' ? That's an odd place to use her accent ? (Unless it's an error)

>Filigree shook her head. “No, I won’t kill him, especially not while he lies helpless.”
-You're right, that's the *ONLY* right thing to do !
...well, time to go get the shovel. You know, to dig the MANY graves for the tens/hundreds that will die because of him.

>power suit for the unicorn. It was easily thrice the size of a pony, with heavy ablative plating and pistons
>It was obviously designed for strength and power
-I'm having a flashback from the Iron Man movie, right now, for some reasons.
Bulky armor for strength VS svelte armor for speed and manoeuvrability.


A pretty interesting chapter, yes.

Filligree's escape was good, though I was half-hoping that Flourish would have teleported with the deeply wounded Arch-Duke... leading to wonder if he would be still alive, but with not much hope, thus leaving a potential moment later where the Prince would be ''Hahaha, I win, you have no proof ! *Arch-Duke enters, not well but alive* 'Dun-duun DUN !' Curse you !'' ?

*Completely unrelated note : At one point during the beginning of the escape... I started to think about legions of ponies teleporting on the ''battlefield'', in a way similar to the Protoss from Starcraft 2. It was an interesting though.*
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I actually don't watch much TV, so I'm unfamiliar with that scene. I think I watch all of 2 shows: MLP (natch) and Dr. Who.

Actually, I was going by most kid's proclivity to focus on the "new and exciting", and whiole not intentional, they just tend to "forget" old friends and the like. I myself am guilty of that from my own childhood, and seen it happen as an adult with other kids, so it strikes me as a reasonable theory. Remember, this is Twist's opinion, she never really sat down and confirmed it, things worked out in the end. But while Apple Bloom was never intentionally cruel, she is sometimes unintentionally cruel...

Well if Twist was in another part of the wold, it would be many years before they reunited.

Equestria Wasteland I capitalized as a place name. That's my FoE reference there, along with the dream sequence (tho it's hardly a "canon" FOE look at Canterlot).

Yes, New Breed almost never existed. This was all almost a Fallout: Equestria spin-off... and yes that was my meta-moment.

Yes Bloom was like 10 feet away. I was trying to channel the "silent fight in the background" thing I'd seen in other shows and the like, usually as a humorous jab at what would generally be a serious event. Given a few people have asked about it, I'm guessing I failed.

Odd place for her accent? I dunno, usually accents get thicker when mad/pressured. I guess it just struck me as appropriate.

Filigree always did tend to focus a bit on "honor" and "duty" and the like. Tho it's technically it wouldn't change anything if the Prince lived or died. She would just be accused (and rightfully in the latter case) of killing the Archduke AND his kid. More, I can't see the Princesses condoning the act... Hell, not even sure she elements would "condone" it. If she'd killed him, she might have become useless as an element bearer...

While not a direct inspiration, I would be lying if the whole "David & Goliath" thing didn't ring true for it. but then, things don't always work out as planned....

Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I considered a last minute save for the Duke, but decided against it. It wouldn't have fit with the plans I have in store....

*LOL* SC2 now has ponies. Someone get on that mod... then I might actually PLAY SC2. (No, I wouldn't. I am terrible at strategy games like that).

- Polecat
Nova225's avatar
>Equestria Wasteland I capitalized as a place name.
-I meant that the word hadn't been correctly written. The 'l' and 'e' were inverted.

>I was trying to channel the "silent fight in the background" thing I'd seen in other shows and the like
>Given a few people have asked about it, I'm guessing I failed.
-Well... honestly, I got the 'thing' there, as I once saw something simillar in a show or 2, but I still found it odd here.
*shrug* I don't know. Maybe there's just a ''little something'' missing in/or before the scene ?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oof, good catch. I didn't even see it the second time you pointed it out! (I wonder why the spell checker didn't catch that? Hrm...)

No idea. I tweaked the scene heavily twice, based on comments from my editors, until they were happy with it. I guess I shouldn't have tried to be "funny" in that scene. I just had the mental image so strongly in my head....

- Polecat
SandBlaster3000's avatar
SandBlaster3000Hobbyist Digital Artist
A pleasure to read as always. Filigree seems to have gotten out a bit more easily than I expected, but the ensuing chaos and misinformation that ensued makes up for it.

On a non-story related note, which of the sidestories do you subscribe to?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, Filigree hinted that the chains weren't really what was holding her there. It was other things... I'll admit , however, that this was to be a "badass" moment for her. :)

FoE side stories? At present only Heroes and Project Horizons.

- Polecat
Jiro-Dyne's avatar
Woot for Heroes and Project Horizons! :la:

Oh... Umm... Also good chapter. Write more!
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*LOL* I'm working on it, I'm working on it. :)

- Polecat
DarkonShadows's avatar
Alto the greybeard?

I like Filligree's method for handling the Alto situation, good thing she's not me or I would have gone for a low blow and then his name would really be ALTO for more then one reason.

Clockwork is having night on baldwin type nightmares... or more specifically the nightmares that Charlie from All Dogs Go To heaven would have from his overburdening guilt.

Last Thoughts: Ninja ponies are pretty sneaky especially if there's more then one, but I doubt they'd be able to turn invisible in a crowd unless they know the quick disrobe technique and lets not forget the inverse ninja law is in play for the moment. I have nothing otherwise to say on the plot, except when does the proverbial Snake Eyes show up?
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No "Fus ro dah" for Alto. He doesn't need it. ;)

Aye, Filigree was able to handle him professionally... but don't think we've seen the last of him. ;)

Aye, Clockwork ain't having much luck in the stability department. But I don't think she'll be hearing "Chaaaaarrrrlieeeeee" anytime soon.

Heh. Apple Bloom is as close to Snake Eyes as you're gettin', sorry. ;)

- Polecat
Levia-the-Dragon's avatar
Ahh yes, some adorable storytimes with twist and Bloom.

I'm not sure whether to be worried or not about Clockwork personifying her armour as a sentient protector figure...

And Alto's fate couldn't happen to a nicer jerk.

A little referance to Fallout Equestria eh? =P

And even if they were tuning her out and she wasn't in the direct line of sight, how on earth did Twist and Clockwork not notice that attack? Played for comedy? Still, that ninja is starting to annoy with its antics...

Huh... and that strange group is growing increasingly mysterious, Bunsen's Chimeric creation is pretty worrying too.
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I thought so too. Plus it helps, at least in my mind, make their relationship more "real".

I'll let you wonder then. :evillaugh:

Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of Alto. People like that have a habit of not going away when they should...

Yes, a little FoE reference... and joke. :)

I was trying to play it as mildly humorous. The scene where the individuals were fighting just out of line of sight while everyone else is chatting amiably and misses the entire thing until something draws their attention (usually at random). That's what I was trying for here, as well as to suggest exactly ho9w sneaky our suited mare is. Still, the Ninja will continue to annoy for a little while yet...

That strange group will get fleshed out in further chapters too. And Burner (who I altered his accent to be a little less annoying to write/read) is still working on his anti-Dragonfly Manticore suit. ;)

- Polecat
Levia-the-Dragon's avatar
Huh... well I am surprised to hear Alto will be coming back...
Chill-penguin's avatar
Very Nice chapter as always. Im still writing a side fic, though by necessity it will be happening in an almost exactly the same alternate universe, because certain things i have planned for it may just interfere with your plans. Basically the only difference between the two will be that my story actually happens in mine. :D
TCPolecat7's avatar
TCPolecat7Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Glad you enjoyed it.

As for the side fic, no worries. I'm usinbg the same basic rule that Kkat did with FoE, in that I have my own plan of action (and don't want to give away much of it). Thus I'm sticking to it....

- Polecat
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In