I’ve always had difficulty with balance. I’m a very all-or-nothing person and most of the time it’s all. I struggle to locate my pause button. Rest feels like laziness. Stopping feels like failure. I’ve always known these weren’t exactly healthy traits but they provided me with the ability to be hyper-productive no matter how difficult the task or challenging the circumstance or broken my body or mind.
For most of the last decade and a half, I’ve needed that death before defeat approach. There were times when it was the only thing that kept me going. I don’t mean it kept me going through working towards a promotion or a pay rise, or struggling through an internship or an academic qualification. I mean it kept me going through literally existing. A new and unexpected disability can have a monumentally catastrophic effect on every area of life, including finances. A number of times over the last few years, death was much cl