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TancyBrat's avatar

Understand?

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I could never in a million years sit here and type this and tell you that I know how you feel. That I know what you are going through. Because quite frankly, I don't. I don't know how how you as an individual react when someone has hurt you. I don't know whether you cry, you cry later, or you brush it of as nothing. I don't know that every time you hear something you shake and quiver with fear. I don't know your life story, and you do not know mine. I could never explain my sympathy to you, nor explain my understanding of what you have had to overcome in your life, and how quickly you had to grow up to accomplish that.

I know that some people are not happy. No one is happy all of the time. It is simply impossible. I also know that some people are not even labeled as people right now. And I, dear ones, happen to be one of them. I am a lesbian. Everyone but my family knows, and for spirit day I want to understand where everyone is coming from. So I wrote some of the names I have been called in eyeliner on my face.

When I was done I looked at myself. I stared and stared. Reading every word as they had been said to me. The voices flooded my head. I couldn't breathe. I had never felt so ugly and disgusting as I had just then. I couldn't take it any more!

So I wiped them off. Mind you, I used the salt of my tears to bid the horrid words a safe passage anywhere but here. My pain and tears washed away everything. They washed away the names, the backstabbing, the plotting, the jealousy, the rage. But I noticed that even though they were wiped clean with my emotions. They were still there.

Black smudges were smeared across my face as the last remaining symbols of these words. These... sounds put together and loaded out of the cannon that is the human mouth. The words and hurt were still there. Like scars on my very person, and that's when I realized something.

I WILL wear all of the names I have been called PROUDLY. I WILL NOT let any of these words and names get to me. Because that is exactly what they are and exactly what they will stay. WORDS.

I know that words hurt. I will never know how much they hurt you. But... before you do something rash... know the people you could hurt too.
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Comments15
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MyLilBo-chan's avatar
Emily you are inspiring to anyone and everyone who hears you. you motivate me by every word here and my everyday life. i know I'm not as close as other friends to you but you do mean a lot to me. and your one of my BEST friends. you know most of my story and i respect that u can understand what i went thought too. you have proven that through all the bad times that you can walk away with a smile on ur face warming up everyone. i love ya girl stay beautiful ;)
CourtneyMonroe's avatar
I never could have guessed any of this. I respect this a lot and I admire the courage you had to do this. I want you to know I'm here to talk whenever or if ever you need and I will always love you and think you're stronger than all hell. <3
onlyforyou123's avatar
Thus is amazing<333
TancyBrat's avatar
Thank you so much! <3
onlyforyou123's avatar
lightning198's avatar
I understand your message, you should be who you want to be and nothing should stop you. Stay strong.:)
TancyBrat's avatar
Thank you so much.. I will :)
Marian-Yas's avatar
Strong message you're getting across. However, even then, you still look absolutely gorgeous and adorable my dear :heart: You're everything but ugly and disgusting
TancyBrat's avatar
Thank you very much... ^_^
don't worry about what those haters say. you just be who you are, stand brave, and walk proud. let your light shine girl!
TancyBrat's avatar
Thank you I will c:
SongoftheWolves's avatar
Wow....this is so sad....I don't understand how people can be so cruel to someone because they have a different preference than they do.God bless and stay strong.
TancyBrat's avatar
That's just the way people were brought up... no one made fun of me when they thought I was straight... or "normal". But, I forgive everyone that calls me names or hurts me because I can't imagine what they are going through in their own lives.
thank you.<3
Elaine128ee's avatar
TancyBrat's avatar
Oh I plan on it... Thank you <3
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