Heath: That stinking Aladdin. First chance I get, I'll slice him in half.
Thief #1: (imitating Abis Mal) That stinking Abis Mal.
Thief #2: First chance we get, let's slice him in half.
Heath: Hey, get over here and wash up!
It's bad enough I have to look at you without having to smell you.
Thief #2: Come, we do it now. No witnesses.
Heath: (getting the lamp out of a well with a bucket of water splashed from his head) Ow! What is this? So help me, I'll sue whoever runs this well. A lamp. (chuckling) Well, well, it might be worth a few shekels once it's cleaned up.
Thief #2: It will be of little use to you, Abis Mal! Except to light your way to the Valley of the Dead!
(Trying to kill Abis Mal with their swords pointing)
Thief #2: It is bewitched
(Red smoke was released from the black lamp with Jafar’s evil laughing and drives away Abis Mal’s men in defeat with their horses neighing and running away and Genie Jafar appears)
Deathwing: I am free! Free with that vengeance upon he who has imprisoned me!
(Trying to be free but his golden cuffs have stuck up on him which he was trying to get away because of the curse)
Deathwing: (grunting) It is the curse of the lamp. (His black lamp was glowing)
All the power in the universe and I am bound by the rules of the genie!
Which means I can't kill that upstart Aladdin!
Unless I have someone arrange it for me.
Take me to Agrabah at once!
(Taking his lamp with gravity and coming closer to scare Abis Mal like some of a coward)
Deathwing: I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind.
(Turning from his Genie form to his normal form and Abis Mal leaping away like a frog)
Kraqor: I trust you'll find me a little less overwhelming now?
Heath: You're... a genie?
Kraqor: You are astonishingly perceptive.
Heath: Um, eh, um… If you're a genie, then, eh, don't I get wishes?
Kraqor: Yes, three wishes. That is a minor formality.
But, first, I must go to Agrabah.
You will take the lamp there for me.
Heath: Then... uh… you need me.
I'll uh… take you to Agrabah but, first, I want my wishes.
Jafar is angry, releasing red laser-like powers to zap Abis Mal so close and he’s about to strike a punch.)
Kraqor: Why, you... You shall have your wishes.
Heath: I shall? I mean, of course I shall! (laughing evilly)
Oh, I want... I want riches, treasure! Let's see, I know, uh…
I wish for the legendary sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer!
Kraqor: Your wish is my command. (teleports)
(Setting: The Sunken Treasure Ship of Coeur du Mer: Abis Mal trying to get out of this place, but a tentacle trying to grab him and the shark trying to scare and eat him but Jafar blocks the shark away)
Kraqor: (holding Abis Mal like a baby and pushing him) Poor sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
Heath: No. (answering with water mumbled in his mouth)
Kraqorr: Perhaps you wish me to return you to the desert?
Heath: Yes! (mumbling from water with a tentacle grabbing him again
Kraqor: Very well. (taking Abis Mal back into the Desert and he spits water out)
That was two wishes. Take your time with the third. Or you will wish you had never been born.
Kraqor: On the other hand, if you cooperate with me, I will see that you are amply rewarded.
Kraqor: First, you will help me get revenge on a certain street rat by the name of... Speedy.
Heath: (gasps) Speedy?! I want revenge on him, too! He robbed me, turned my men against me and he fought dirty! My brilliant swordsmanship availed me naught! (cuts his pants down with his circle underwear) I hate when I do that.
Kraqor: (grabbing Abis Mal’s shirt) Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. (dropping him to the ground)
After all, there are things so much worse than death. (Laughing evilly and Abis Mal grinning menacingly)
(Setting: The Sultan’s Palace Dining Room)
Thundara (as a chef): OK, prepare yourselves for a real culinary treat. (Genie chopping carrots as fast with karate sounds)
Sultan: (laughing with joy) Oh-ho-ho-ho, my!
Thundara: (his hand cut off) Whoopsie.
Sultan: Most amusing!
Thundara: Amusing, right. Excuse me while I pull myself together.
Sultan: (laughing) Absolutely delightful! Now, to business. Aladdin, you have proven to be a man of strong moral character. That is why I've decided to make you my new royal vizier.
Speedy: Me? Really?
Emily: Isn't it wonderful?
Thundara: Wow! Royal vizier!
Aladdin would like to thank the Academy for this great honor!
You want 'em? We got 'em! Royal vizier t-shirts!
All hail Aladdin, the royal vizier! (turns back into normal) So, uh, what's a royal vizier?
Sultan: Well... he will be my most trusted advisor.
Thundara: Well, that makes sense (spitting). He's bound to be better than that Jafar character. (Genie’s head turning into Jafar’s)
Sultan: Quite so!
Thundara: And Iago. Talk about a rat with wings!
Thundara: Ooh! That bird was mean! (his face disguised as Iago with a cracker)
Sultan want a cracker? (double) Remember that?
Sultan: I can still taste them! The traitor!
Thundara: Yes, sir! You don't see this guy hanging out with any evil parrots!
Speedy: It's funny you should mention Iago.
(Setting: The Sultan's Palace Gardens at night with Iago on his cage and Abu still guarding him.)
Iago: Oh, monkey! (making monkey noises)
Come on! Monkey, little birdie want to talk to monkey.
Have nice banana.
(making monkey noises again)
Birdie get monkey a pretty banana...
if monkey open cage. Yum, yum!
Abu: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Iago: (angrily) Come on! I've got a wife and three eggs!
(sadly) Imagine them hatching, never knowing their daddy!
(afraid) Come on, open the cage!
Open it! Open it! Open it!
Yeah, that's more like it. Ah! (Rajah growling at him from trying to get out of his cage) Close the cage! Close it! Close it! Close it!
(Rajah destroying his cage and falling to the ground and chasing him through the Sultan's Palace interior (setting) screaming for help)
Iago: Your monkey's trying to kill me!
I saved your life! It's payback time, Aladdin!
Emily: Rajah! You know better than to tear around the palace like that!
Iago: Help! Hey!
Sultan: So, Aladdin, why did you bring up that deceitful parrot?
Speedy: Sultan, I have to tell you something about Iago. (gulping) He's here.
Sultan: (gasping) Iago! Guards!
Speedy: No, wait! You don't understand!
Sultan: Get that bird!
Razoul: Yes, your Highness. It would be my pleasure.
Speedy: No, Sultan! No!
Razoul: Move out of my way, boy!
Speedy: You don't understand! Just listen! I have a...
Razoul: Your Highness!
Sultan: I trust he has a fitting explanation for this… this scandal?
Emily: He had better.
Speedy: Your Highness, I… I think Iago was... uh…
Speedy: Yeah, yeah! He was under Jafar's spell. Remember the snake staff?
Iago was only... uh… um… Look, I just... Iago's not all that bad.
Uh, at least, I don't think so anyway.
Iago: Shoulda stuck with the snake staff defense.
Sultan: Not all bad? He only served my greatest enemy, that's all!
Razoul: We can't allow that traitorous bird to run free!
Speedy: Then I'll watch him! Uh, your Highness, I meant, uh, with your permission, I'd like to take full responsibility for Iago.
Iago: You would?
Sultan: Your priorities seem questionable to me, but so be it. Aladdin, you will watch Iago every moment.
(The Sultan walking off and Razoul coming here to Aladdin)
Razoul: And if the bird makes one wrong move, you shall be the one I pluck, boy.
Thundara: Eh, that could've gone worse.
Speedy: Ugh, Jasmine, I thought I was sunk.
Iago: Oh, not good!
Emily: You were hiding Iago all along, weren't you?!
Thundara: I think it just got worse.
Speedy: Well, yes, but...
Emily: How could you? More secrets? More lies?
Aladdin, I thought you had changed.
Speedy: Jasmine, wait! Eh, back in the marketplace...
Iago... he... (Jasmine slams the palace doors and he sighs) he saved my life.
(picking up his turban and sighing) Some grand vizier I'm gonna make.
Everybody's mad at me.
Thundara: Hey, Jasmine's just a little (turning into a Mrs. Potts-like teapot) steamed. She'll cool down. Care for a cup? (asking Aladdin for a cup of tea to cheer him up but not) Ugh, this isn't cheering you up, is it? (Trying to give it to Abu and he doesn’t like tea.)
Speedy: I don't get it, Genie. I try to do something good and it… it blows up in my face. (walking away into the fountain)
Thundara: (and Abu sighs) That's the problem with doing the right thing.
Sometimes you do it by yourself.
Iago: That kid saved my life. Nobody's ever looked out for me before. Now, it's like I owe him. Nah!
Thundara: Just let your conscience be your guide. (turning into Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio)
Iago: Conscience? Never had one. Never. (flying away)
Thundara: (laughing crazily with turning into a Genie-in-the-Box to annoy Iago and falling off)
Iago: Hoo! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?
Thundara: (turning into a vet) A-ha! You do have a heart! (showing Iago’s X-ray)
An itty-bitty one, but it is there. (teleporting Iago with sparkling magic)
Iago: Can you quit with the hocus pocus already?
Thundara: Look at him. Would it kill you to do something nice for him?
Iago: Possibly. (letting go of Genie’s fists) I don't do "nice."
Thundara: Oh, come on! It’ll be fun! (his Jack in a Box-like face with two yellow flags, red eyes with spirals, red and black beard, and spinning hair plus checkered teeth
Iago: I don't do fun, either!
Thundara: (in multiple forms) We have to get Al and the princess (in one form) back together!
Iago: Look, I definitely don't do mushy stuff! It's not me
Thundara: I know, but it's going to be tricky.
Iago: Tricky is good. Tricky I can do.
(Settings: Jasmine’s Room & Balcony: When Jasmine was laying down on her bed crying after being upset with Aladdin, Iago comes near her balcony door grille.)
Iago: Come on, Princess! (Jasmine showing Iago when stopped crying) Don't waste your tears on him.
Emily: You! Get out of here! (shutting her curtains on Iago)
Iago: Hey, don't take it out on me! He's the creep. I never should have saved his life.
Emily: Saved his life? (opening her curtains)
Iago: Yeah. He owed me one. That's why he stood up for me.
Emily: But he didn't have to lie to me.
Iago: You are so right.
(Forget About Love)
Iago: Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes
Forget about his charms
Forget about the way he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious
The thrills, the chills
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love
(talking) She's buying it! Now make with the magic!
Iago: Forget about romance
Forget about the way your heart begins to dance
Iago: Then you feel the blush
When he's spouting out some sentimental mush
Love really is revolting
It's even worse than when you're molting
Enough of this fluff
Just forget about love
Emily: I had almost forgotten the way it felt
When he held out his hand for mine
My heart all a-flutter
Iago: Oh, how I shudder
Emily: The first time we kissed
Iago: It won't be missed
Forget about his touch
Emily: I can't forget about his touch
Iago: In the scheme of things it doesn't matter much
Emily: It matters so much
Iago: You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet when you eat alone
Both: Love's filled with compromises
Iago: And don't you hate those big surprises
Emily: A cozy rendezvous
Iago: Oh, please
Emily: Candlelight for two
Iago: Oh, jeez
Emily: Look, you're calling my bluff
I can't forget about love
Iago: Just forget about love
Speedy: (speaking) Uh, Jasmine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept Iago a secret. Please...
Emily: (speaking) Aladdin, you don't have to... Shh.
Emily: I can't forget about my heart
Speedy: I can't forget about my heart
Emily And how it felt to fall for you right from the start
Speedy: I'm still falling
Emily: Whatever we may do
Speedy: Whatever we may do
Emily: You are here for me and I'll be there for you
Speedy & Emily (Both): I'll be there
To wish, to want, to wander
To find the sun through rain and thunder
Speedy: A cozy rendezvous
Emily: Yes, please
Speedy: Candlelight for two
Iago: Oh, jeez
Enough is enough
Speedy & Emily (Both): We can't forget about love