dumahdie

It's been at least a month since I've thought about suicide. I think I may have finally beaten back my depression. I seriously wish I could've gotten anti-depressants like two years ago. Or, you know, in high school when I wrote a poem about someone hanging themself and my teacher warned me that I couldn't write things like that or he'd have to report me to a counselor. Which just told me that I should hide it better. I still wonder sometimes how my life might be different if instead of warning me, he'd tattled instead, and maybe I could've gotten help almost a decade earlier than I did.Anyway, I'm doing better at my job, since I have more...

It's back to work I go... I'm not looking forward to it, unless of course I end up doing gift wrap. Then heck yeah, pay me 13 bucks an hour to wrap people's gifts. I was told we aren't getting volunteer gift wrappers this year, so I have no idea how they plan to fulfill all the holiday orders... We'd get like 300+ due out in two hours at the height of the season, and rate is 25/hour for one person. Maybe they're doing the majority of orders at a different facility, Idk.I'm doing much better most days. I still feel the fringes of depression, but it's more like clouds passing over the sun now rather than the complete darkness of night. Still...

amazed that I'm alive; then I struggle to get out of bed.