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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner May 29, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
 Scalpel (Left)Tini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeTini Vintage Syringe
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       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesTini Cleaver (Right)  Tini Preserved Heart Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Broken Heart  Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Tini Preserved Heart Tini Cleaver (Left)bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesPill AvatarMoving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon Virtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - Y Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 iconPopsiclebunch of smiley faces
    GHOST HEART Moving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - YMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 icon GHOST HEART 
Tini Vintage Syringe leftTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeScalpel (Right)
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner May 29, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
  Spin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it goodSpin it good
Pixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)Sweetskull GlowSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Salmon and PurplePixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)
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Red Eye:oldtv:Moving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconBloody Rain Good NightMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 icon:oldtv:Red Eyebunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
     bunch of smiley facesPastel Purple Eye
Flowey Omega (avatar size) - UNDERTALE - Icon GIFVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - YFlowey Omega (avatar size) - UNDERTALE - Icon GIFPastel Purple Eyebunch of smiley faces
    
Blue EyeTVVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - YTVBlue Eye
Pixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)Sweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull GlowSweetskull: Indigo and TealSweetskull: Orange and PinkSweetskull: Salmon and PurpleSweetskull: Magenta and BlueSweetskull: Purple and IndigoSweetskull: Purple and TealSweetskull GlowPixel Icon: Ink-Heart (F2U!)
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:iconprahanien:
prahanien Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2017  Student General Artist

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

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:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Don'tdoit.Ibegofyou.Thesuguaromaylookcuteandcuddlyandmayevenoffertheirarmsouttoyoutolureyouinforthattempinghug.butdon'tdoit.Youwillregretit.Youwillexperiencepainandhorrosnomortalbeingshouldeversuffer.andthenwhenthecactusisdonerapingyouandfillingeverporeofyourbodywithneedles,thesunwillthentakeyourdefiledbodyandslowlyincinerateyou
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:icontaielias-bane:
Taielias-Bane Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2016
You know how incredibly hard this was to read with out my glasses haha
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:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2016  Student Digital Artist
ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are you?"
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
8. If you hear a redneck say, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way, these are likely his last words ever.
9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven.
14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer.
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you can be certain they are.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really mean to say is 'Margarita.'
23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.
24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.
28. "Tea" = Sweet Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
29. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
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:icontaielias-bane:
Taielias-Bane Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2016
Although I dont plan on moving to texas anytime soon. I can agree with a fair few of those points XD
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:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Why did the chicken cross the English channel?

It had been months of preparation for the chicken. He knew if at first he didnt succeed he would be dead, and his family would be alone without him. He stepped off the pier from england, and fluttered down to the rough seas below him. He started sinking, which was weird, as he knew chickens have buoyant shapes. He remembered his physics teaching back at school and inhaled as much oxygen as he could. Doing so, he floated up to the surface. He remembered that the english channel at its shortest was 35 kilometres. If he could remain like this for the next 34.99 metres he would be set. The plan worked, until he ran out of oxygen. as he gasped for air, he began sinking again. Suddenly, with the force of 10 cans of beans and 10 cabbages, the seeds he ate earlier, which were now brown and white, blasted out of his behind. “Scuse me!!” he said. as that phenomenon finished, he started floating again. Those seeds really weighed him down! Things were going swimmingly (ba dum tss) until the seas got rougher. He was tossed about, and suddenly he saw the front of an aircraft carrier sailing towards him! he felt cartilage from below him push him away, and was relieved. These must be dolphins! he thought. But no, they weren’t. Two basking sharks, known for staying close to the surface of the water, began circling him. suddenly, a small boat came sailing along. the man in the boat saw the sharks harassing the chicken, and stabbed the sharks in the eyes. With this turn of events, the chicken saw the shore ahead of him. The boat man picked the chicken up and took him to the shore.But this didn’t answer your question did it? the real reason the chicken crossed the english channel was to visit relatives in turkey. duh.

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:iconnil:
nil Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Student Digital Artist
└( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to post DANK ℳℰℳℰS └( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐
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:iconoratherebelkitsune:
OraTheRebelKitsune Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy B - Day :D
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