He tried desperately to regain control of his body. With his thoughts he reached out to his hands, trying to will them to move, but they lay like dead limbs. He tried to bring his fingers to life, hoping he could at least control the smallest of his digits, but could not. He was aware of them, and could feel every part of his body, but they seemed to belong to something else, like phantom limbs outside his command.
This had happened before. In fact,
diagnosed by the doctor who smelt of beer and stale sweat.
when you told your friends they shrugged and said
"everyone has it,"
and so when they spent the night and you lay awake
you assumed that their silent sleeping was simply caused by them being in a different house.
your sheets are stained with the nightmares you couldn't wake up from
after you took the pills the doctor gave you to sleep.
when you woke up in the morning and the thought of school sent you into panic attacks.
you are a better ghost than you are a human being,
noticed when you began tearing at the skin around your nails
and obsessively organising your books on the desk.
she says she thinks it is just your mind letting society in,
but i cannot breathe in shopping centres,
and i spend concerts planning escape routes in case someone were to have a gun.
rediagnosed by teachers as lazy,
and by lovers as too tired.
an umbrella term you are learning means wanting to step in front o