but for some reason,
i just didn't.
i almost told my dad
that artistic freedom
isn't the only thing
he left (with me).
but for some reason,
i decided against it.
i almost messaged you tonight,
but it's been a long time since i have.
so, i decided i shouldn't.
(may as well make it longer.)
i almost named you
in this poem,
but i think maybe
that would be a bad idea.
filled me up
and there was nothing i could do.
my time had passed
and there i lay
having no strength to move
my power, my might, all had lent themselves
to this moment
and all i had left
was the sharpness of my tongue
what useless weapon that may seem
intellect was on my side
there is no triumph without pain
and therefore i can't triumph
i can't win
i do not fear my own
pain, my own
but i cannot allow
them to reach my pack
they are the beloved and they
will NOT be HARMED.
but as i lay and the truth spills out
i realize the inadequacy of my
statement, the hypocrisy
has reached me, i cannot run from
it. i must accept. i realize now.
i am the instigator. i am the weak i am
my own fight and my own tribulation
you can not win against yourself and
therefore i am back where i started.
laying under the heavy burden of my own inadequacy.
then comes the silence
walk by, looking down
not recognized or noticed
nomadic crisis of the new generation
dragged behind a chariot
feel like a one-winged angel
And that in itself is a sobering realization
There's always been just one more step to take
Yet another thing to go out and accomplish
This isn't to say one shouldn't take steps forward
But I've been so wrapped up in what I haven't done
In who I'm not, in what I haven't acquired
Why did I learn to perceive this way
How can I love myself yet reinforce this inadequacy
When did this endless loop of reaching begin
Wading into it wasn't a conscious decision
That being said, I've been stuck in it all the same
Over the millennia humanity has evolved and adapted
With all that I still can't measure up to this pressure
To satisfy myself by constantly reaching for more
I've been trying to achieve the impossible