It was a warm February morning, the day I was going to get my first Pokemon. I remember as a young child always prancing around Pallet Town squealing 'I want a Pikachu as my first Pokemon!'. I dressed in light clothes and set out toward Route 1. Then I saw grass. My mother warned me to never go in tall grass, and I listened ever since Douche chased me into the grass, trying to make me eat a dead Caterpie he found under his porch. A Pidgey flew up out of the grass and almost attacked me, but then Douche's grandfather intervened. He captured the Pidgey and sent us back to our parents.
Now I felt I could protect myself from stupid little creatu
: Sorry for the long wait everyone! Misha isn't here yet though. Why would anyone want that thief around?
: What was that about me?
: Ack, Misha! N-nothing, I was just telling these recruits about our journey!
: What, didn't we plan this for next month? I thought this month-
: WHAT are you saying? I can't here you when my paw is jammed in your big mouth!
: Well, now that that's out of the way, onto the mission! You all will follow me and Misha to Windmill Forest. It is full of bugs, so be careful! We need to retrieve a few items that Queen Neon failed to deliver.
MISSION: Journey to Windmill Forest, Numa and Misha will acco
Asshat starts out in the back of a moving van. She wears May's clothes, but has long arms that stretch to her knees, her shirt is like a short dress (only goes to her waist) and she wears no pants. Is diagnosed with severe Schizophrenia. Has a knife kit under her bed.
Team So Far: Asshat Jr., Blaarg, My Penis, Shroom, RockHard
Asshat Jr. is a female Torchic who wears the same hat as Asshat. Has a tendency to break out in a twitching frenzy on the ground, and also has a severe case of Schizophrenia.
Blaarg is a rabid female Poochyena. She sits on Asshat's shoulder and nibbles on her trainer's neck, but Asshat doesn't seem t