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If you have any kind of programs you can share aside from the ones listed below; I would appreciate it.

Things I have had sent to me/ re-bought:
- Photoshop CS6, Photoshop CC, Illustrator CC
- PaintTool SAI
- Revit

If you have any art, animation, or 3D modeling programs (like SolidWorks) I'd really appreciate it. I had mentioned this previously on Facebook/Twitter so I have been able to recuperate some stuff listed above which was great.

So the story?

Before I get into what exactly happened its important to note here that because I travel a lot due work (two jobs at two different ends of the city), full time university, and family; I largely live out of three bags and then couch surf between 2-3 different places. One bag for my school stuff, notes textbooks wallet etc. One bag with my computer and Wacom Tablet. And one bag with my clothing and toiletries (I normally pack about 4 days worth of clothes, guestimating the amount of time I'll be out before I return to my actual home).

On the evening of November 25th I had gone to drop off a Christmas Tree at my University, for our engineering holiday party (always happening before finals). I found some pretty sweet parking literally in front of one of the University entrances. Parked there, went in with the tree, dropped it off.

I come back a little bit later and wow suddenly I don't have one of my back windows. My school bag and my computer are gone, but thief was generous enough to leave my clothing. Keep in mind, I have my stuff almost always hidden either in my trunk or under my seats, and my windows are very tinted.

Now for me this is a huge problem. My school bag has each and every one of my notes, labs, examples, midterms, quizzes from the whole semester, two of my text books (around $500 combined cause they are custom publications for my Uni), calculators that had to be approved by my faculty, my McFreaking wallet, and a lot of other stuff that school bags normally hold. Also taking my notes and books right before finals hit is so so brutal.

And then loosing my computer, not only was my semester 3D modeled building gone (at least there was an older cloud back up for that) but damn. The whole computer. The thing itself was super powerful. But my art................................... Honestly out of everything, that's what truly sucks the most. I lost the past 3 years of all my art. And that truly pains me because I lost the originals to all my BFOI stuff, and all my PMA stuff. And all the stuff I had sketched, inked, and almost completed for BFOI y3. I lost my whole Y2 original files, its like whole competition run gone. All the sketches I never posted, and ah. I can't really accurately describe how much this pains me. All I really have left is whats up on deviantART and even then, I deleted a lot of stuff in some previous year.

Loosing my school stuff, yes it really sucked hard. Finals have been hard, but my university community and about 50+ people came out and gave me their notes and their textbooks, programs and files. I was truly blessed in this respect as I've met a lot of people in university and am actively involved in the student life there. It was really amazing to see them step up and help me. But like. Ah. AH. My school I could find ways to replace stuff. My art, I hadn't backed up onto a drive. I can't replace that.

I guess if you're going to take anything from my experience. Back up your art, online somewhere. And take pictures of everything you own for insurance purposes.

The follow-up to what happened is that, since I was parked right out front of my University, there were about 2 cameras which caught everything. They are also in plain view of my car as they were directly across the sidewalk from my bloody car. But that didn't deter the car theft. Police report was filled, and insurance was filled but I can only get back about a third of what was lost due to deductibles. I've replaced my computer and tablet out of my own wallet (~3k later) which I had saved up to maybe you know, move out. (I'm tired of couch surfing and living out of bags). But because I work two jobs its not terrible. Ish. Police haven't gotten back to me just yet as, apparently there has been a lot of laptop theft happening in cafe's around my Uni and they are busy with that.  

Insurance said that due to the short span of time between when I left my car and when I came back that someone was either watching me and my friends unload the tree, or that I was unlucky and someone passed by with a battery detector, that apparently can detect when there are computer batteries present. Surprise shit that I didn't know existed, but hey now we both know.  

The reason I had to replace my laptop and tablet so quick is that for one job(ish) I do a lot of professional art. Sponsorship packages, logos, banners, posters, etc.. Come the end of the year we have to put in an order of about 300 tshirts (6 different designs, 50 shirts per design), Patches, Sweaters, & Embroidered Hats Polos and Socks. So all these designs had to be submitted December 1st, and yep you guessed it, they all went missing with the computer too. I got an extension and finished everything again by the 7th, with no sleep (hey no surprise)... so things worked out there. Maybe if I get permission I'll upload the designs with pictures sometime. It would be kind of cool.

And while I knew that I would be behind in BFOI this year, due to working two jobs and full time university, this event has truly forced me to quit. I had comic strips completed for the second part of my round one and working in tandem with my round two. I knew I wouldn't catch up on time to complete everything for BFOI with out putting in a big crunch. But I still had that completely robbed from me. And it pains me cause I really loved that community and I don't really know now what to do with Orrins story anymore. One thing I will do is at least finish my round one again and redo the round two. I want to feature every person who featured me in their round two comics, there were a lot of you. I owe you all that much at least.

Ah... well... sorry for ranting a bit there. I had put off posting this for a bit because I'm trying to suffer through my finals. I guess like.. I am doing better now that I've replaced a bulk of my stuff. I am a bit more than disappointed to say the least. If you have suggestions for BFOI and/or are part of the community I'd love to hear from you. And well. I honestly hope this never happens to any of you.



Fri Aug 5, 2016, 8:27 AM

AND THIS still has to be one of the best things someone sent me so I'm sharing it with you all.

Please watch it until the end 8'D (it's only 30 seconds)

Also thank you to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday, much appreciated. Also I forgot how to post status updates and after wasting 25 min I gave up and now we are here. help me

Hello hello all!

Tue May 10, 2016, 11:16 PM

Hoo boy it's been a while hasn't it! I wanted to sincerely apologize for not being present, a lot has gone on and changed in my life which has kept me away for a looong time. There is a bit on it below;

To begin with, around September last year I started moving around a lot. By the time December came, it wasn't uncommon for me to live in between 3 different places every two weeks; this largely depended on work, school, social and family obligations. All of which were in different parts. In short; I became a pro couch surfer. 

This continues now until this day lmao, I have three places I'm lucky to call home... and no place to say you can find me. Because this was all happening it became increasingly difficult to keep up with online friends, and any digital arting (outside the BFOI sphere). Daily work with the teaching and management jobs/ as well as studying in engineering completely dominated my time, and what was left was spent on social time with my SO/friends and famjams. 

Good news is! I'm looking into settling down in one spot! By only July 2018 cause prior engagements will not let that happen for the next year... 8'D but at least its a date..

Backing up a bit and speaking of BFOI; a good chunk of my watchers may have already known (or not?) I ended up winning the y2 challenge! I largely missed my chance to say how lucky I was to compete against Yuriakashu, how amazing her story was, and explain what exactly BFOI and all the mods and participants meant to me. I am truthfully sorry about that.

I got to watch BFOI & everyone in it change over the 3 year challenge and I can't begin to express how grateful I am to have been able to not only participate but participate with everyone. It was honestly all the members and the mods that made BFOI so memorable, and my friends who supported me above and beyond even if they weren't involved in the group.

See the BFOI results were announced December 31st/January 1st... which was a long time ago . . . Come January 2nd to the 7th, I was in a province wide engineering competition with 40 other delegates from my school. We placed 5th overall! Which is good but we were third last year _(8'D/__)_ 

Anyway after that there was a blooooody long hellstorm of stuff that went down. The weekend after (the 16th of Jan) I was travelling to a country wide conference for Canada engineers without borders, with about 10 other students + dean and faculty. Tbh I only got to go cause I'm one of the VP's for that society in my school (But the society has so little members everyone is a VP I s2g 8''U ).

Then school picked up, midterms etc. After I was in an engineering consulting competition that my engineering faculty hosted (my team got second place!) It was about a 4hr period to analyze the case, come up with a full formal report with researched theories, and a power point presentation. 

later on, about 2-3 weeks after... my teammates enrolled in a 24hr PMI project management case competition. My bit of advice if you're ever considering something like that; don't do a 24hr one. My whole team got about 0-3 hours of sleep, the case was pure hell on wheels, 24hrs wasn't enough time and they knew it, but we slaughtered the presentation and came out first.

One thing I have to say is; it was fun. I grilled myself to exhaustion this past semester (year? Three years???) but competitions are fun. Irregardless of where you place, or what exactly you're doing, I've found that competitions give you an opportunity to learn and apply yourself to something new. And not only that, you get to meet and learn from so many people.

Anyway back on point; on top of all the workload I mentioned in the second paragraph, I threw myself down the stairs into voluntary hell, just to add more stuff to my plate. Mind you it was fun, stressful and consuming but fun. 

This last semester was probably the busiest of all my university ones. and at the end of it, my grandmother sadly passed away in Brazil at the start of my finals. It's been a bit of time since then, so don't worry about anything (if you are?) Arranging the funeral, living arrangements for my grandad, and etc was probably a bit more stress inducing... including getting them both back to Canada. Plus I had arranged to be out of the country visiting my dad and step fam in Mexico.. anyway. The funeral service for her ashes was just held this past afternoon with the whole family, so everything is finally settled now.  

Shit, I'm finally settled now. This is the first while in a long while I've had the opportunity to have time to myself. And lurk quietly around dA. I'll be getting more involved soon, already have plans for BFOI Y3 (Which you guys should seriously check out) 

In the future tho (for this summer); I'm working a 9am-5pm job at an equity company. I teach from 6pm-8pm every Monday and Thursday and am taking 3 summer classes that range 6-10 pm on the other days. Why the classes? So I can have a reduced load during the school year, plus I'm around working anyway. 

So if I disappear or am not as available this summer as you'd like... I hope you can come to understand.

TL;DR -  Bruh sorry I've just been massively busy beyond words

Name change across the board

Fri May 29, 2015, 12:53 PM

It's been a long time goal of mine to find a username I like and also that I can use uniformly across websites. It's turned out to be a bit harder than I imagined but I've settled for now on this one (due in large part to the astronomic term behind it). 

So with out further ado, you can now find all art related things from me on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, DeviantArt, and Facebook under the username of synodicmeg

(Please keep in mind right now my tumblr, twitter, and facebook pages are barren, I'll get around to updating them after this weekend from hell is over) 

But in othernews!! Twitter is a public twitter so if you weren't sure about following me on my private one (you're still more than welcome to @ Meggie_MAP) 

Also don't know if I mentioned this before but Instagram is where I keep mostly all my traditional work (not all of it gets posted) so if you want to check that out feel free.

Where did I go?

Mon Apr 27, 2015, 7:54 PM

TL;DR?? - It's a life update read if you want. 

So! It's been a very very long time since I updated  my watchers as to what was happening. Past two journals were just like; Hey stuff is going in storage due to RL trouble, and HEY I'm leaving dA for a bit DUE TO RL TROUBLE, backed my little to no explanation. 8') So with out further ado, let me apologize for being so dead/inactive/unresponsive etc. Here's why;

I check dA, but I don't check it often. More times than not I am buried in a lot of work. Slowly I'm getting back into getting online more and more. (This will be a bit of a re-explanation from my BFOI round 7.5 artist comments). Anyway so why the big change? Why didn't you really hear from me (aside from BFOI rounds) after June? 

University mostly. I started my degree in Building/Architectural Engineering in September. It's a lot of work! But it's a lot of fun. More than a couple of my projects had me making over 100 pages of drafts, which I didn't sleep for almost a week for. One of the bigger ones had me making Structural drafts (roofing, footing, concrete), Architectural plans, Electrical, Power, HVAC, Pluming, & Mechanical drafting plans. There is a lot of structural design and analysis that I'll be doing this coming year after I'm done analyzing different material strengths. IN SHORT Building Engineering at my uni closely follows Civil Engr. but just goes very in-depth. There are loads of projects that are loads of fun. 

This past semester I decided to take a heavy course load with 6 courses, rather than the usual 5. I don't think I'll do it again though cause my sleep vs sanity ratio is going down. One of the extra courses was learning how to 3D BIM model in Revit (it's such a beautiful software I cry ;; ) so that ALL THAT DRAFTING I DID IN AUTOCAD IS just made so much easier (and cooler). Anyway let me stop my gushing about my courses. As you can see I honestly do like the work. 

Despite that... it still is a shit ton of work. On top of school, I tutor on the side privately. And I work as a teacher in a learning center, 2-4 times per week, the kids are cute, the pay is better than my life guarding job.  Also to prepare myself for the extremely competitive Engineering Internships, it was suggested I volunteer for one of the school engineering/club related societies to smack on my CV. I scoffed at this idea at first because /my time was already limited as it is.

Interesting thing here is that, I knew already with school and my jobs I didn't have time for that kind of stuff. But this past semester I got more involved with my university chapter of EWB (Engineers Without Borders). Ironically it started with my friend just bringing me to one of their meetings. I REALLY liked how the group worked, and what kind of volunteer work they do, both locally and in Africa. Also their work policy, where they don't want the communities they are working with to rely on the organization. Instead they want to work with the community in beneficial learning, so the groups can remain independent.  Right now this is sounding vague but a sort of broken example (and I say broken b/c this is overused and this isn't what EWB does for ventures anymore) is Well building. If they send an engineer to a community to build a well, that's fine and dandy. But what if the community didn't need it, what if it wasn't placed in a good spot, what if it breaks. A lot of consideration about the specific communities needs are taken into account. We also want to go there to teach, so that they can build their own wells (for example) and repair their own wells. Therefore the community will not remain dependent on us. We do a lot of local work around Montreal too with the other Quebec chapters from time to time so it's great.

Now fast forward a couple months into this semester. I'm loving the group. I got super involved due to my art actually, and ended up providing all the posters and schedules for the events held during Global Engineering week. Now that it's end of the term I've ended up as Vice President in marketing, communications, and webmaster. 8'D9 The work was a buttload but... it's weird! I've never felt such a nice passion for school! Like I love learning (and tbh hate testing) but I'm liking the work I do a lot. Also b/c of EWB my 3D Revit prof won and award, and he was so happy he offered detailed courses on Revit for 5 of us. Which is super cool cause you can get a very amazing/nice job just off knowing Revit/AutoCAD well-- still I want my Engineering job but! It's exciting and it opened up some doors I was NOT expecting but super happy to find. 

Mind you! I love this work, I like my job, I love volunteering, classes are hard but they are interesting and it's a field I'm very happy to be in (if you knew me when I was switching into it I was stressed af and worried I wouldn't like it much like pharma/health sciences). And I do love it very much! BuT ITS A BLOODY LOT OF WORK. My friends joke that they don't know how I function and keep a social life, and to be honest I'm not sure I know myself. 

But my days!! On average my classes end at 11pm. Or EWB will keep me. or work. Getting home is an average travel of 2hrs. So I get home on average at 1am everyday, and I have to be up at 6am to prep to leave for school on time. These 5 hours of "sleep" I have to find time to learn about my school subjects and etc. I work Saturdays all the time, and Sunday I have EWB meetings so I'm on campus or at work 7 days a week. Do I burn out! Yes! Do I regret it? No! I've come to love the work I do.

Now my semester has just ended. I had my BFOI round due right smack in the middle of my final exams. LUCKILY THAT ACTUALLY WAS A BENEFIT cause I took off work for 'finals' and there was no EWB cause 'finals' and no class cause I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED FOR 'finals'. So I had the time to sit there and not sleep for 3-4 days and pull through the work that I could not finish during the semester. When I get on average 5 hours a night to do homework and sleep-- I don't have time to do anything else.

Now with the semester over you might be saying "well hopefully you have summer now to relax" too bad though that IS A LIE. My uni has a spring term and a summer term. Annnd because I'm in Building (and Civil Engr has to do this too)-- but we are forced to take classes that are only offered in the summer! Things like Surveying the land and etc can only be done in the spring/summer semesters. so it looks like I'll be taking classes till mid August. Also my spring term starts May 4th may the fourth be with you. Also EWB is still in session and my friend and I are in charge of a huge project, involving ~50 people in the wilderness. Plus I still have to teach at the learning center. 8'Dc LUCKILY it won't be 6 classes this coming semester which is nice though. 

So yeah! That about sums up like, where I've been (working my ass off-;; ) and why I haven't checked dA in a long while. ALTHOUGH. TO BE FAIR, I really do like to stay in contact with my friends/watchers on here. And I want you guys to know that you're free to request a follow over on my private twitter account (@ Meggie_Map). If you need to get in contact with me, twitter is the best way! I don't like what my windows 8 did to skype, and anyway to begin with my phone is on me 24/7 while my computer is not. I get notifications from twitter on my phone so is the quickest way to get a response from me (INSTEAD OF ME LOOSING YOUR MESSAGE IN THE PILES OF DA MESSAGES I HAVEN'T ATTENDED TO SINCE JUNE help).

Another great way to message me is through facebook! Messenger is connected to my phone so that's like instant messaging. You're free to add me as a friend if you would like (send me a note or a tweet telling me you'd like to add me and I'll send you my full name etc.) I'll look into getting LINE again. Although I do have Whatsapp if people use that. 

I do scroll through tumblr a lot! BUT! I'm almost 99.9% of the time on the mobile tumblr which does not notify me when I get a new message on tumblr (so again I can go through and seemingly miss your message). 

Sorry this has been so long! But here! and update about where I've been and where I'm going. Sorry for the long read -- tho hopefully you found it somewhat interesting if you got to the end. Unless you didn't. In which case kudos to you for pushing through it. 

I'll try and respond to all my messages soon--..... but I have some from June... and its gotten so stacked so I'm super sorry if I missed your message. 

Everything is in storage.

Sat Jan 10, 2015, 8:44 PM

Due to some personal reasons, every one of my deviations has been put into storage. Only certain ones from now on will be coming out of them.

I know ties to certain groups, need my artwork out on display but I hope if you're a mod reading this-- and you noticed it was in storage-- it is only a temporary thing until I can deal with a RL issue.

Originally I would have liked to have given a life update of how I've been and why the lack of communication (I've been out of country & busy with my degree). That will have to wait.

I'd encourage those that know me and interact with me daily in real life to kindly stop sharing my artwork among our peers. 

I've always been fine with anyone on the internet seeing my artwork, but I feel its a bit different when my artwork gets tied to some real life acquaintances that then go along sharing it, till it becomes a mockery in front of a whole group of people. 


Sun Jul 20, 2014, 7:57 AM

I'm sorry a, very long term 3 year relationship of mine just ended. And I'm going to have to take some time off for myself.

If you need to contact me, send a note, or send a 1-on-1 skype message. 

Thanks again, and very sorry. 

Gone for a week --!

Sun Jun 15, 2014, 4:18 PM

Not the biggest announcement to date, but I'm flying out of country tomorrow at 7 am and will only be returning late 23rd! 

I won't be able to stay in contact with you all, because I'm unsure about the internet situation there currently! I have some stuff to prep before I leave, on this site and some others, so I'll be rather busy in the next coming hours!

If you don't hear from me in the next week or so assume I perished along the way.

jks jks... maybe.

Commissions OPEN

Journal Entry: Fri May 9, 2014, 12:51 PM

Gallery | Twitter | Personal Tumblr | Art Tumblr

It's come to that time in the year where I've become a bit strained for money! As such, here are some guidelines and examples, for commissioning some work from me!

Please read through it all, pick your price range, and fill out the form at the bottom of the journal. 

All prices are in USD, through paypal.



BFOI - Headshots by synodicmeg  PMA - Angry Kid by synodicmeg
Sketch - $5
Lined - $10
Flat Coloured - $15
Cell Shaded - $20
Soft Shaded - 25$
Painted - 30$


Goetia Demons by synodicmeg Adelle Bust Shot by synodicmeg PMA - Seirei unedited app art by synodicmeg
Sketch - $10
Lined - $15
Flat Coloured - $20
Cell Shaded - $25
Soft Shaded - $30
Painted - $45


PMA - Amity Process by synodicmeg
Goetia Event Outfit by synodicmeg Rakko Full body by synodicmeg Ifrit Full Body by synodicmeg
Sketch - $15
Lined - $20
Flat Coloured - $25
Cell Shaded - $30
Soft Shaded - $40
Painted - $60

Please fill out the following in a note to me if you are interested, if you wish to purchase more than one art piece you are free to do so, just add the price accordingly.

Commission Type: ($Cost + Art type)
Examples : (Linked Art and/or Written examples permitted)
Specific requests : (Personality, Simple BG, Certain Pose, etc.)
(*) Paypal :  
(+) Do I have your permission to post the final art to my dA and/or tumblr account, so long as I credit you on both the art and description piece: Yes/No

(*) - If you wish to discuss alternate methods of payment feel free to do so.
(+) - You are in no way required to say yes, all commissioners will receive a larger, unmarked copy of their art piece via note.

Work will be completed on a first-pay first serve basis. Feel free to ask or address any questions or concerns in your note to me. 

Thank you for your interest!!

Eye Surgery

Thu Apr 10, 2014, 9:58 PM

Haven't had an update, or posted one in my journal for a while now. Hohaoho so I decided to quick update. I got tagged it two journals and ahaha I plan on doing it, but I'll make a separate journal when I have time. 

But yea, to the order of business... eye surgery! I'm having it done May 1st (haha fast approaching). Nothing major really nor is it a dangerous operation, I'll be fine. 

I know they'll recommend I stay away from the computer for a bit, but my absence can slide by unnoticed either way, because it isn't like I'm posting art everyday or a journal everyday.

My exams will be starting around that time too if I remember. I'm graduating my college this semester and off to study in a co-op Engineering Degree next, so I most likely might be a bit hard to get a hold of in may?

But I do check dA often on my phone so, if there is a reason you need to contact me for just send a note or something.

Anyway, that's all for now!

Ahh I'm back

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 1:54 PM

I'm back but very drained, I had a very long delay for my flight. I was expected to be home at 6 pm but only arrived in Canada at 3 am. \ o /

So I'm going to rest up these next couple days, I have some stuff that needs to be done irl before, but will get back to my art and responding to all the messages I amassed on my trip ahah. o)--( Nice to be back.

Will be leaving for a bit

Thu Jan 2, 2014, 4:51 PM

EDIT: turns out there is really slow free WiFi so I'll keep my eyes peeled and check by from day to day.

Well I have been unavailable for most of December, but now I will be gone through most of January. I'm leaving this as a note for anyone who may try and contact me due to OCT/work related things, but I will have no net access between the 3rd - 11th of January, primarily due to the fact I won't be in country any longer during that time. 

It is in part a family and work related issue (nothing bad don't worry) that is taking me out of country.

Despite all that hope everyone has been well, and I wish all my watchers a belated happy new year and hope you all had a good holiday vacation. I apologize if you've left a lovely comment or message for me I'll see how many I can get back to tonight, but please understand I have over 170+ feedback messages that amassed while I had no net during the holidays, for once again travel reasons. 

A bit of Life and Death

Wed Jul 31, 2013, 11:35 PM

Hey guys, wow its already the first of August aha jeez look at the summer fly by... ahh... in anycase I'm just well, typing this up to update everyone with what has been happening with my life. Not really so great stuff (death etc.), but it certainly has gotten better. I'll warn you its a bit of a long winded story /but hey there are pictures if you just want to look at the pictures that is ok too.

But yea where to begin.. jeez uh. WELL THE POOL...

Back in the beginning of June I started back up my summer occupation, where I manage/life guard at an outdoor pool. And eh its been fun, but it was kind of a pain to start off with. The short part of it is, back in May I was set in charge of scheduling and came to find out that one of the hired guards planned on bailing halfway through the summer (ie: July 15th-- summer pool closes Sept 2nd) and so it caused a lot of conflict on my part, since I had suggested her through a friend, and the pool committee already hired her. Since we work by contract and get a flat pay for the whole summer (no matter how many hours we work) we couldn't hire her, and my boss booted her from the staff just before the opening season. 

In short it left the rest of my staff shortchanged, and we've been working the whole summer once again understaffed. The nice part is my boss gave us all a raise to compensate, but my days have turned from 8-10 hr shifts, to 10-12hr shifts, mind you we don't get breaks? if there are people in the pool from the moment it opens to the moment it closes we have to be min 2 people on deck to watch. And well my staff makes up a grand total of 4 people. \ o / this has made for fun work weeks ranging 5-6 days per week.

Pretty much what it all leads up to is that I'm fucking exhausted every day of the week, excuse my language. I'm surprised I have energy to do anything at night sometimes. 

Sadly in my time being spent at the pool I missed a lot of the warning signs of my dog getting sick...

She was a real sweetheart German Sheppard/Boxer mix, that we had rescued off the police, whom instead of trying to catch her or call public security, thought it would be a better idea to taser her because she was a stray. 

Anyway.. we almost had her for a year, but she had recently started having problems walking. We thought she had gotten old or she had a sore shoulder. We tested to see if she had any cancer but it came out negative. All we could do for her was give her pain meds, which worked so well, she was as peppy and hyper as my psychopath Husky.

But the pain meds ended, and the vet said that she would be fine since she had time to heal. But I honestly left the dog in the morning who was fine, and came back after work to one who couldn't even move. Like the change was a shocker. She would try to stand but her legs would give out and she would end up peeing herself out of pain or fear I don't know.. We needed to bring her to the vet but it was Sunday and only the emergency vet was open. And we just couldn't afford a $1000 board and visit, vs a $300 one at the local vet...

So idek it was just a fucking horrible time. I'm... idk idk I'm still bothered by it to be honest. Because we tried to taker care of her just so she could last till Monday. But she would try to get up to move and fall down and collapse into a heap of pain and crying. And just so much crying. Constant cryingg.. And idk I think that's still what bothers me the most right now, that I couldn't do shit all cause I couldn't afford shit all and I was stuck leaving my pet in such a pained situation......

And fuck I'm just so bloody upset still.   

I just feel like such a horrible owner. I can't even care for my fucking pet. Just

I'm still. fucjk. Just terribly upset now. That whole day .. man just. We finally got her to survive till Monday were we brought her in to the vet. And they told us she had a brain tumor, and that the pain meds they had given for the leg pain, had steroids in them which helped block out the pain of the tumor but in turn made it fucking massive. So the moment we stopped it we had nothing to block the pain with any more, and she was having a ton of neurological problems. WE had to put her down there otherwise she would have died in the next 48 out of the pain. 

And I still don't know what is worse, is having to put her down or hoping she would get better as I sat and tried to comfort her all day that sunday. 

and idk it feels better that I'm finally typing this out and getting out what has been bothering me. I know its better we put her down but it doesn't make me feel any better ? especially since I put her through so much before she passed away. 

uRG sorry guys about the long middle part. I had to take a bit of a break before I finished typing up the last part, as I don't want to end the journal on a bad note. And while I've tried going back to edit and change  how I feel, its just there. idkk. I don't really have another way to word it. And I'm sorry if I'm just babbling on at this point. /Don't worry there are a lot of cute pics coming up.

My last bit of news has to deal with what I've been doing these last three days. In my boyfriends neighborhood, someone dumped a box of like 5-6 kittens in the park, that are only 2 weeks old. The little bbys ;;;;;; Tbh, I don't think they all survived. My boyfriends father only managed to catch one of them.. and they've been over 72 hours with out food or shelter. And jksahfjk I said I was going to make this happier OTL /I just worry for the kittens ....

But yea the one kit that the father managed to catch is the one my boyfriend and I are taking care of right now. Though its staying at his place with his family for the time being /because I worry my psychopath husky would make a meal out of it, and having a wolfdog doesn't help. BUT THE SAD PART IS IT STILL MOSTLY NEEDS MILK? Its eaten some patté food, but I had to syringe it cat milk, b/c it is so young and so tiny.


But the fluff ball is the cutest little shit. And he already knows how to go to the litter? /Like shit my dogs were dumb and didn't understand the concept of outside for like a month. Dumb dogs man. Ahaa

And like all my friends adopted it, after we all voted on calling the kit Pepper. So I'm sure that if my boyfriend can't keep it, we will all kinda chip in to bring it up. 

We brought it to the vet today for a check up and to gather proper kitten food and sleeping space. He seems to be all healthy, which we are glad about. And as bad as it is... I really want to see this little fuzz ball grow up. 

But yea. typing that and looking at all those silly pictures idk its helped a lot. I miss my dog a ton, and I feel... bad about how she had to go. I wish I could change it, I really do. 


I have to acknowledge it is the past. And I'm kind of stubborn in the way that I want to keep remembering and reminding myself about her. Which... doesn't help me, I know. I just wish I knew what was happening. But I can't change the reality of it, no matter how upset I get. 

And well. In a sense typing out how I feel, its been kinda therapeutic. It's just going to take time I guess.

And I feel bad that in a sense this arrival of the kitten has been a distraction from what I feel. But I could say the same for when I go to work. Anyway, its nice to sorta face what I've been pushing to the back of my mind this past month, and kinda get it out of my system.

I guess I should thank you for reading this far. I know I must have written a novel by now. Sorry orz.

I hope you have all been doing well. y v y)//

Promo: VHPlant Point Commissions!

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 8:09 PM

Ahh since my point commissions sold out relatively fast, I'm doing a Promo for a friend of mine (VHPlant), for anyone else who feels like they may have missed out. She is taking Point and USD ($) commissions!

Check out her journal & Front Page for more info, and happy hiring! 



Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:07 PM

Edit: Ah all the slots got taken up! Thank you for the Commissions! I have a list of all the deviants that have hired me, and I'll be messaging you if I need more detail while making your characters. 

Ok so this is my first time doing point commissions (or any commissions in general). To be clear it is to make Forests-of-Eden a super group.

Donations are greatly appreciated, as you can donate on the widget on my front page, but are not required. 

In any event I am doing really specific commissions; All commissions I take on will be fully shaded bust shots at 500 points per piece. (which is about $6.25 USD, keep in mind I doubt I will sell this cheap again).

Examples are included below; 


I am taking a maximum of 7 commissions. Although this is subject to change if I reach my point count or if I don't get enough commissioners. 

If you don't heed my above warning I might assume that you are just donating generously.

Open spots; None! All got taken, thank you for the commissions!

Note; I am still waiting for confirmation from Umberkit .

Convention Fun (Pic's included)

Mon May 27, 2013, 12:42 PM

SO, last night I got back from Anime North, and while I normally don't update my journal to show the goodies I got, I decided to at least do it this year. (Plus I haven't updated my journal since 5ever) 

Although I did take some pics of awesome convention cosplays I didn't get enough lmfaoo /only about 4 or 5 and I was oogling the rest of the cosplays /AHH SO MANY TALENTED COSPLAYERS OUT THERE HUFF HUFF

IN ANY EVENT, Most of my con stuff I bought ended up just adding to the collections I've had (mind you this isn't all the anime/manga stuff I own, more like a quarter of it /but I'm just showing the series I managed to update);

Oh god my phone pictures are crappy quality with those filters oh god--  

None the less this is a more zoomed out version of everything. One thing you might note if you manage not to blind yourself on my filter, is that I am missing Mushi-shi volume 6. While I normally would be like, AH its ok I'll find it myself, I found out at the con that Mushi-shi had gone out of print and it was FUCKing hard to find any books of their kinda. I was mad disappointed as it is such a beautiful series and is one of the highest rated series of all time /like why would you do that weep.

So ya most of my con was spend freaking out over the fact it went out of print, and as such I went treasure digging around the dealers room 24/7. I already owned the volumes 1 & 4, and that massive 3 for 1 volume with 8, 9, & 10 included. I still managed to snatch up 2, 3, 5, & 7 while I was there, which was a great haul considering the fact my friend had only gone a couple hours after me and she couldn't find one Mushi-shi book for sale. /Or maybe she just didn't try IDK any way this is what I (actually) bought at the con;  

(Minus the gifts I bought my brother and my boyfriend, which I already gave to them)

No filter this time b/c I realized how bad the other one looks /I would change it but I don't want to take another pic so /lazes

Blue Exorcist I've half ass been keeping up to date on. By that I mean I haven't read any of the recent online chapters nor have I watched the anime. /oops/ and it was bought last minute on a sale so / o /

AH BUT A BIG SCORE WAS THE LIMITED EDITION VOLUME OF ROMANTICALLY APOCALYPTIC by alexiuss It was signed too which was a lovely surprise ahhhh / v \ and they even threw in a free print for me--!! Which.... I actually forgot to take a picture of OOPs-- 

But yea Mushi-shi-- I'm still looking for volume six _(8'U/__)_ 

ESSENTIALLY, IF ANYONE OWNS A VOLUME 6 OF THE MUSHI-SHI MANGA /or you can find one online, would you be willing so sell it, (or link me)... I'm a stickler for full collections. I couldn't find one on ebay, unless I bought the whole series 1-10, which no I'm not doing I don't have 400$ something dollars to spend. lol.

OFF OF A MUSHI-SHI NOTE, BEFORE I HAVE AN ANEURYSM I managed to catch some twitter friends at the con AHHH! Both Nattie (ciaoyu) and Elly (Elirae) -- who made me a picture and gave me some of her food-- yumyum e q e -- were there eheheh. Here is the watercolor picture Elly made me / v \ 

Its of my most used character Adelle

Nattie on the other hand was swarmed by so many people at the table she was selling her art at it was hard to get a word in. But ahh I'm glad she was doing so well /and that she was super popular too~! I managed to say hi and pick up a few supernatural pins / v \. She even threw in a free pin as well--! /I asked for Naoto cause amg out of persona 4 she was my favorite character <33 

So overall it was such a lovely convention <3 sadly I didn't get to see Lanmana with her lovely mewtwo cosplay while I was there--! ;;; My apologies Lan.

On a side note I'll be very busy with group art, so expect to see a lot of stuff coming around the corner. Hope everyone had a good weekend~!

OH YEA! as a little fun fact before I sign off, I broke my toe the night before leaving for the convention on my suit case 8'D Had to deal with walking around the convention on it, which kinda hurt, but I was overall really happy that no one stepped on my toes ;; v ;;

Took me a while to get this thing set up, but I've organized my two tumblrs. One is strictly art related, where you are free to send some requests should you choose, the other is the blog I've had this whole time, where I made a horrible mix of art and just good old tumblr nonsense.

If you are interested;

Tumblr Art Blog -
Tumblr Main Blog -

The art blog will be updated more often than dA, but with unfinished sketches and the like. Polished things go here.

That aside, life has been ok. School has been kicking my butt, but I am hoping to apply to McGill soon so / o)/ I'll let it kick my ass for now.
I've been rather busy between end of the semester craziness and all that. I'm sorry I have not been able to respond to a large amount of messages.

Despite having a Organic test and a Calculus test back to back I managed to pull through. But spent no time arting, and as such my BFOI round one suffered for it.

I'm flying out tomorrow to go see my father. . . . the process of arranging this trip has been... excruciating to say the least, between all the legal battles and threats its..... maybe something I will discuss later when I have time.

That aside, I only finished my finals on Tuesday, and spent Wednesday evening making my part 2 for BFOI, and tonight for making my part three. I'm dead tired at the moment but going to apologize in advance for their horribly shitty quality.

My flight is in four hours wish me luck maneuvering my way around Mexico City. I'll see you all on January 6th.

I also realized I'm flying out on doomsday hmm.
Hopefully you all don't watch my scraps too, cause otl uploaded like a good amount of old pieces. That being said I am terribly sorry if you do follow my scraps and I just spammed your inbox ugh sorry ;;;;;;

Teni . . . . .
I'm going to be staying up late and I set up a draw session. Feel free to stop by;