It has been over a month since your passing. It is still hard not to be greeted by you when I come home and not seeing you on the usual spots in my studio. For weeks, I dreaded to wake up in the morning. You always jumped up from my cot when you heard the alarm went off and waited for me to feed you. You would lick the lid of wet cat food can and made "clank clank clank" noise every morning. In fact, you are the only one lick the cans. It really made me sad not to hear the noise in the morning. No one licks the can now but I still leave the can on the floor for you.
It is getting warmer now. I opened some of windows the other day. You loved looking out open windows and lying on the windowsills, taking naps on sunny nice day. It was particularly hard not to see you galloping toward windows when I opened them. You always wanted to go out and explore when it was warm outside. You were quite sneaky to slip out. Not seeing you by the door, discreetly waiting for me to open it, is really odd, l thought I almost saw the shadow of you there. I know it is my mind playing the trick.
I still look behind my shoulder when I open cabinets or drawers. You were super good at sneaking into them and stay there till you get bored.
I realized that the arrival of new season will trigger memory of you. The little stuff you did that made me smile will come back to me. I know that will remind me that you are no longer here, tear me up.
I miss you so much Tibbs. I would give my left nut to hold you one more time and experience your torquey head bump, kneading, and the nibbling on my goatees. I miss that a lot. Had no idea how much I would miss it, Tibbs. I am still in a huge mess.
Most of all, I miss taking naps with you. You were the best nap buddy, ever. You showed up when I was about to go to sleep and snuggled yourself into spooning position. I loved smelling your forehead. It always smelled like oatmeal cookies and you let me rub your tummy. That was my absolutely favorite thing in the whole world.
You were the greatest, Tibbs. I was extremely lucky to have you in my life. You always knew how to cheer me up. There were a few occasions that I was not sure if I had been able to go on without you. You always made me smile in those times.
You were a pure treasure to me.
I will say good bye to you for now, Tibbs. It is really hard for me.
Thank you so much for being my best friend for 7 years. I will always cherish the memory.
And I look forward to seeing you again, Tibbs.
I don't care in any form, I will see you again, my very best friend.
Till next time, Tibbs.