Bunnicula’s Erotic Tales
Characters are the creations of Authors James and Deborah Howe (Bunnicula, Harold and Chester), WB (Arthur, Mina) and believe it or not, Author Bram Stoker for some of you eagle eyed viewers who know where the names of two of the main characters come from originally.
The Motivation for this series is Lil Lotus- Kiss My Eyelids www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv_B2b…
I figured this was the best interpretation in my mind about love Bunnicula has for Chester.
It has been said New Orleans was discovered by the French, yet built in some parts by wealthy elite vampires looking for a place to get away from it all and give their prized pets a place to rest and whose soil had magical elements to it which could guarantee those masters of those pets could leave the area in confidence knowing their pet would be forever kept out of the public’s eye until they were ready to come reclaim their prized pets for the long awaited trip back to Transylvania.
One such pet, a rabbit, came to New Orleans with the King Of Vampires himself, Dracula, who was looking for some place to house his prized pet of many magical qualities he had saved from the clutches of wolves and named Bunnicula after he had resurrected the bunny and granted him some of his powers and his strength after the bunny had bore a soft spot in the Count’s heart when he looked up at him all mangled and torn up with a look of “help me” in his eyes.
Dracula fawned over his rabbit and taught him everything he needed to know about being a vampire including sucking vegetables dry by inserting his fangs into them to get the juice out not realizing that some of them had good and bad reactions they gave to Bunnicula so Dracula finally after much trail and error with many different vegetables discovered the safest vegetable for the rabbit to suck dry was a carrot which also calmed him down and made him sleep. So from then on, Dracula fed Bunnicula carrots only to prevent the rabbit from sucking on a vegetable he shouldn’t.
By the 1830s, Dracula was tired and needed a change of scenery and after many trips to various places across the United States colonies and Illinois, he finally found a place he fell in love with, so much so that he and Bunnicula constructed a building just outside the French Corridor in the young at that time City Of New Orleans and named it the Orlock mansion where Dracula spent many years with his pet rabbit, Bunnicula, resting and regaining his strength before having to head back to Transylvania to continue his rule of the monster world there. During this time Bunnicula befriended many monsters, insects and other creatures as friends, some with benefits, others were just friends. All seemed to be going good until Dracula grew weary of New Orleans fast growth and wanted to get out of there before he and Bunnicula were discovered.
So Dracula put the Orlock Mansion up for sale and soon a buyer was found and that buyer turned the mansion into apartments and while the conversion was going on, Dracula built a secret basement with a crypt big enough for a vampire rabbit to sleep in during the day. Dracula had the key to the crypt forged from the finest dark forest metals and minerals. He also outfitted the basement with many things for Bunnicula to play with as he was not going to be coming back anytime soon and wanted whomever it was who discovered the basement to wear the key as a necklace like Dracula had when he was constructing the crypt.
The night his master left him was the day before the new owners who would surely discover him were to take over ownership of the Orlock. Dracula had given the bunny enough carrots to knock him out for many days and so the Count put him in the crypt and locked the door to it forever imprisoning Bunnicula until someone discovered him.
Several hundred years and tenants would pass by until a young girl from the Midwest and her father took ownership of the Orlock apartments after they moved from Iowa to Louisiana to start a new life after the tragic death of her mother.
Arthur Monroe, who was the father of Mina Monroe and the owner of the Orlock Apartments quickly set to cleaning the place up to bring new tenants in and had his daughter check the basement for anything which needed to be thrown out. Mina was an adventuresome teenager ever since birth so getting to discover the Orlock secrets was exciting to her so she took on the task with much enthusiasm.
As she looked around the massive basement, her eyes fell on an old door that was connected to the basement but had been shrouded by the junk in front of it. After Mina cleared the junk, she walked up to the door and tried to open it, it wouldn’t budge so with a more forceful movement of her body against the door, it finally creaked open and she stood in awe at the bonus spare room with all of the crazy monster knick knacks, books, and toys. As she continued to look around the room, she noticed a dark heavy wooded box with Romaninian stenciling on it that looked almost like a box you’d put a rabbit in. When Mina went to open the box which was Bunnicula’s crypt he was fast asleep in, she noticed there was a keyhole so there must be a key around somewhere.
After much looking around she found the key in a drawer in one of the chests in the basement. She went back to the wooden box and the key fit into the keyhole as it made a click opening the door. She took a look inside but could not see anything since it was pitch black in the box. Not realizing she had awoken a vampire rabbit, she looked at the key and thought it would make a great necklace so she put some strong quality string around it until she could go to the store to get a bracelet chain to put around it.
As she walked upstairs she heard sounds coming from the basement and figured it was just the sounds of an old building. When she opened the door, her pets, Chester, the tan colored Siamese with one fang sticking out of his mouth, greeted her by meowing and rubbing against her leg. She then was overtaken and almost knocked down by a brown colored with spots big dog, Harold who almost knocked her down as he licked her face and greeted her.
“Down Boy. Down Harold!” Mina scolded the dog who obeyed her command begrudgedly.
“I’m sure you two want me to feed you, right? Mina said looking down at the dog and the cat who willingly said in their own languages, yes!
“Okay boys, let’s get you fed before I go to bed” Mina said as she walked towards the kitchen with Chester and Harold closely following behind her.
“Ahh Mina, I see you have returned from the basement, did you see anything down there which needed to be thrown away? Arthur asked as he made himself a snack of chips and salsa.
“No Dad, I didn’t really see anything which needed to be thrown away, but I did come across this cool spare room I’ll have to show you tomorrow” Mina said happily as she smiled at her dad who was eyeing the black key she had as a necklace around her neck.
“I see you found a key of some sort, it’s really a nice one, where did you find it? Arthur asked
“I found it in a drawer in a chest down near where I found this cool wooden box” Mina said as she showed the key to Arthur who smiled warmly at his daughter.
“Tomorrow is going to be very busy for me, Mina, you know we still have a lot of work to do before we even find you a place to go to high school” Arthur said in a serious tone. “I think we should turn in early in order to get an early start in the morning” Arthur suggested to Mina who nodded in agreement.
“I was just about to feed Harold and Chester before I went up to bed, Dad” Mina said to her father as he took his chips and salsa off the counter.
“Sounds good to me, they can sleep here in the kitchen until you can get your room arranged to where you want it” Arthur said as he pointed to the rug and basket set up in the kitchen across from the refrigerator.
Arthur walked over after setting his chips and salsa back down on the counter to give Mina a hug before he picked them back up and headed up to bed.
“I love you, Dad!” Mina said as her father made his way up the stairs.
“I love you too, Mina” Arthur said as he walked up the stairs into his bedroom.
Mina gave Harold his dog food and Chester his favorite salmon dish before she hugged them both and made her way up to bed.
Downstairs in the basement in the wooden crypt, the fired torches came on revealing a small coffin perfect for a rabbit to sleep in. The lid of the coffin came open revealing Bunnicula who was sleeping like a bat with his head down towards the floor and his feet towards the top.
He opened his eyes and gave a long stretch gibbering something in Romaninian as he made his way out of the coffin. His stomach was growling and he hadn’t eaten since his master, Dracula had put him in this crypt sometime this morning he believed.
When he made his way up the steps he transformed his ears into bat wings in order to open the door into the mansion main floor. When he made his way outside into the Mansion main floor and looked out the window, he was shocked at what he saw.. This wasn’t 1830s New Orleans anymore, gone were the horse drawn carriages that were replaced by.. cars? How could this be? He flew around until he saw a calendar which said March 2016!
He was shell shocked it had been nearly 140years since he last opened his eyes! He took a minute to sit down to try to comprehend the fact his master had abandoned him and left him to fend for himself and that nobody had come to wake him up so whoever it was that woke him up must be his new master.
But first he needed to tend to his growling stomach before he could even figure out what to do next. He set out to find the kitchen.
Harold and Chester both were sound asleep until a commotion coming from the hallway startled Chester awake.
“Harold, HAROLD, I think I hear something or someone in the other room” Chester said in his neurotic tone whenever he was scared.
“Oh come on Chester, we both know this is an old apartment and it probably was the wind or something like that” Harold said after being shook awake by Chester.
Bunnicula finally found the door to the kitchen as he remembered it and he transformed his ears into bat wings to open the door.
Harold and Chester both froze, they knew Mina and Arthur were asleep and they knew nobody was supposed to be in this apartment at this time of night.
“I told you Harold” Chester said to the dog who immediately stood up to get ready to bark at whomever this was invading his territory.
“Wait Harold, let’s see what or who we are dealing with before we alert Mina and her Dad” Chester suggested to Harold who immediately shut his mouth and crouched down with Chester standing behind his back.
Bunnicula opened the door and made his way into the kitchen where he located the refrigerator.
Chester and Harold could not believe their eyes as a small slightly chubby black and white with big red eyes rabbit walked into the kitchen headed for the fridge not noticing they were staring in awe at what they saw before them.
Bunnicula proceeded to open the fridge door and reach into the vegetable drawer rummaging around for a carrot to suck dry. As he did this he didn’t realize the dog and the cat were slowly sneaking up behind him.
Harold and Chester slowly snuck their way closer to the bunny to see what he was up to. Both of them slowly inched closer to the rabbit and froze as they saw the head of the rabbit raise up in the shadow of the fridge light revealing a couple of sharp fangs as they sounded like knives going into the carrot.
“Harold.. Do you see what I see?” Chester said, dumbfounded at what he was seeing which resembled a horror movie as a sucking sound filled the room.
Harold didn’t even hear what Chester said as soon he was barking as loud as he could at the rabbit.
Bunnicula was startled by a noise behind him so he bore his fangs at the offending noise by snarling at Harold and Chester.
Chester jumped back in fear, Harold whined a bit as he backed up but still kept on barking at Bunnicula who froze at the open fridge door contemplating how he was going to get out of this alive.
Mina was roused out of bed when she heard barking coming from the kitchen, She ran down the steps to see what the commotion was.
Arthur was also roused out of bed as he ran down the stairs to see what the commotion was. As he made his way down the stairs, he carried a bat with him so he could take care of whatever or whomever was causing his dog, Harold to bark at this time of night.
Mina was first on the scene and she laid eyes on the slightly chubby black and white big red eyed rabbit cowering in front of the open fridge with a sucked dry carrot in front of him.
Mina quickly picked the rabbit up off the ground and immediately fell in love with it as it gave her this “help me” soulful gaze as Arthur made his way into the kitchen ready to dish out pain.
Bunnicula felt a pair of hands pick him up and he immediately saw the key on the neck of his savior who was a girl of fourteen or fifteen with long maroon colored bangs and tiny ear studs pierced into both sides of her ears. He stared up at the big brown eyes of his savior and gave her the soulful gaze.
“Mina, are you okay and what’s going on here?” Arthur asked in a demanding tone.
Mina turned and faced her father with the rabbit in her arms as she cuddled it even with its fangs still out.
Arthur was also entranced by the stare of the slightly chubby black and white big red eyed rabbit.
“Can we keep him, Dad? I don’t want anything to happen to him since the dog and cat scared the be Jesus out of him” Mina asked Arthur who said with without hesitation:
“Mina, if you want to keep him as your own, you have to take care of him and let nothing happen to him, are we clear?” Arthur said in a serious tone to Mina who nodded in agreement.
“And as for you two, you’re going to have to learn to coexist with this rabbit, if anything happens to him, you’re both sleeping outside, are we clear? Arthur said as he glared at Chester and Harold.
“Oh great, just what we need, another body around the house and did you notice, Harold, that is a body who could kill us and suck us dry?” Chester said in a freaked out tone.
“Don’t worry Chester, everything will be fine” Harold assured the cat who only frizzled when the bunny made a terrifying face at time.
“If you’re going to keep him, Mina, you’d better name him” Arthur suggested.
Mina pulled a carrot out of the fridge and gave it to the bunny who immediately sucked it dry startling both of them.
“Why don’t we name him Bunnicula for his neat trick he does” Mina said to Arthur.
“Works for me, Mina” Arthur agreed.
Bunnicula couldn’t believe his luck, he had woken up only a few minutes ago after 140years of unplanned sleep to now be part of a family who obviously loved pets and made him one of their own.
As he looked at the dog and the cat, he knew it would take awhile to gain their trust, but in time, he knew he’d gain it because time was all he had.
Spring of Present Day 2018 at Orlock Apartments:
Mina and Arthur were both sitting in the foyer area watching TV while having a bite of an early dinner, they were going to be taking Harold for his night walk a little bit earlier since both of them wanted to go catch a movie later on that evening. Since it was Spring Break, Mina did not have to worry about going to school the next day so she and her father once they got done with the movie were going to go roller skating and be home later that night.
Harold sat in a begging position hoping he’d get a scrap of food from either Mina or Arthur so he looked at both of them with soulful eyes before one of them, usually Mina, threw him a scrap of whatever the dinner was and in this case it was chicken and vegetable alfredo with some of the chicken being given to Harold who happily gobbled it up before begging for more.
“I think that’s enough for you, Harold” Arthur scolded the big fat brown spotted light green colored wearing dog who wined a bit as he flopped onto the ground trying to get a reward by rolling onto his back with his legs sticking up in the air.
Arthur wasn’t buying it and neither was Mina who finished off her dinner and did put the plate down on the ground for Harold who lapped up whatever flavor was left on the plate before he walked out of the room to go see where Chester was.
“I’m really looking forward to tonight, I hear this latest installment of Game Of Thrones is supposed to be the one where the kid realizes he is a wizard or something like that” Mina said as she looked at Arthur as he finished his dinner.
“Well Mina, I thought since you and me both had time tonight, I would do something special for you” Arthur said as he wiped his mouth off with a napkin.
“And after all, this really is going to be the last Spring Break I get to spend with you before you go off to Tulane this summer” Arthur lamented almost sulking.
“Oh come on Dad, you know I wanted to go to Tulane and it’s not like I’m going very far” Mina said as she put her hand around her father’s shoulder.
“You and I both know that I’ll be here for most if not all the breaks and holidays. I mean you can even come see me everyday if you want to since Tulane is near Downtown and it’s not like I won’t come here to feed the animals everyday and make sure Bunnicula doesn’t get to a point like he did the last time we left him with Marsha when we went on a trip for a few days” Mina said as she picked up her plate off the ground and set it back on the tv tray.
“I know Mina, I’m so proud that you took the initiative for your choice of college, I was ecstatic when you chose Tulane over Louisiana Tech” Arthur said as he got up to clean up his tv tray and store it back in the closet.
“I wanted to be close to you, Dad, I just thought Tulane was a better fit for me since all my friends are going there and we all can hang out everyday instead of just on weekends” Mina said as she stood up and cleaned off her tv tray and took her dirty plates into the kitchen with Arthur soon following her.
“We’d better get Harold’s walk in before the movie starts in a couple of hours” Mina said to Arthur as she set her plate in the sink and went to the fridge and grabbed a Gatorade taking a drink of it.
“Let me finish cleaning up and you go get ready to go and we’ll go walk Harold and then bring him back here and then hit the movie” Arthur said to Mina who finished downing her Gatorade and ran upstairs.
Chester was sitting in his favorite spot in the upstairs office doing a crossword as he looked outside at the slowly waning daylight. Soon HE would be up and HE always caused trouble or tried to play a prank on the poor Siamese cat every chance HE got.
The HE was Bunnicula, a friend to Chester, yet a royal pain in the ass which had given the poor feline his share of bumps and bruises over the last couple of years. Chester was sore everywhere on his body including places he had no idea he was sore in. It had been a VERY LONG two years of Bunnicula’s antics and less than inviting friends which had turned Chester into the neurotic constant on edge feline he now was and he knew once Bunnicula awoke at sundown that he was in for whatever Bunnicula had in store for him.
Over the last couple of years, Bunnicula and Chester had developed a unique friendship and Chester had noticed Bunnicula had developed more than just a friendship for the feline. He’d often find pictures of him and Bunnicula in love making situations drawn by Bunnicula and translated by Harold.
Most of the time Chester would blow these things off because they were either on an adventure or Chester assumed Bunnicula was doing it for his own laughs though secretly, Chester had developed some feelings for Bunnicula and those feelings had gotten stronger over the last two years. When Chester would sit with Bunnicula, he felt a sort of warm comfort with his paws around the rabbit’s shoulders or vice versa and sometimes he’d wake up after having dreams of Bunnicula with him in those type of situations where it was cuddling with…
Chester was startled out of his thoughts when Harold bounded into the room asking his usual dumb question to the feline:
“Whatchya doin’ Chester?” Harold said in his usual dumb tone with oblivious stare making Chester groan before he spoke:
“I’m doing what I always do, Harold, and that is trying to relax before Bunnicula comes in here to make my life the living hell it’s become” Chester said as he downed a glass of milk while trying not to tremble.
“Come on Chester, Bunnicula isn’t as bad as you make him out to be” Harold reminded Chester who scoffed at the dog’s remark:
“Sure Harold, you aren’t constantly the victim of when he sucks the wrong vegetable or one of his friends decides to use me as their punching bag” Chester huffed as he felt his bones pop wincing at the shot of pain the popping sounds made.
“I mean, just once in my life, I wish Bunnicula would be gentle on me instead of making me worse than Scooby Doo when he freaks out with ghosts” Chester said in a tired sounding voice as he ran into a word he needed Harold’s help with.
“Hey Harold, what’s another name for a schooner?” Chester asked Harold who replied:
“Try goblet. Look Chester, I think Bunnicula in his own way loves you, I see the way he looks at you and the way he tries to express his love for you” Harold said as he scratched his ear with his back paw.
“If that’s his version of love, I’d hate to see him when he is madly in love” Chester cringed as he nodded his approval of the word goblet fitting in the last slot of his crossword.
“I think you don’t get it, Chester, Bunnicula has told me on countless occasions he wants to take his love for you to the next level” Harold said as Chester gave him a shocked look.
“Next level my ass, his idea of next level is making a horrifying face at me everytime I try to save him from himself” Chester reminded Harold who sighed.
“I guess you’ll have to find out in your own way Chester, I think Bunnicula is madly in love with you and doesn’t have the right type of communication to express that to you” Harold said to Chester who felt his body getting hot as the thoughts he was thinking of Bunnicula cuddling and… entering him from the backside made him suddenly freak out.
“Look Harold, I know you like to get your rocks off on whatever dumb thing you’re thinking, but there is no way, no how, no reason for Bunnicula to even be.. “ Chester yelled as he was cut off by Harold:
“Your face says otherwise, Chester” Harold said in that loving tone which made the feline slump down in his chair when he felt the blush.
“Don’t you have to go on your evening walk, Harold..” Chester said in annoyed tone as Harold would not drop it.
“Look Chester, I’ve seen how you act when he is asleep and vice versa, you can’t fool me!” Harold said as Chester motioned his finger in an out gesture as he picked up one of Harold’s toy bouncy balls and threw it out the door as hard as he could.
Harold being the dumb gullible mutt he was fell for Chester’s bait and bounded out of the room after the bouncing ball as it rolled down the long hallway towards the end of it.
Chester slumped in his chair grumbling to himself as the last rays of sun left the upstairs setting in the west. Soon enough, Bunnicula would come awake and Chester braced himself for the inevitable greeting he was soon to get as his thoughts continued to torture his mind.