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A Sad Time by SweetScarletSky A Sad Time by SweetScarletSky
All that is in my head is the Ninth, of the Twelfth, twenty-fifteen. 09/12/2015

It's officially been two years... Two years of what?
It's been two years since I had attempted Suicide.
I was in a bad place, Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety in late 2014. 
Life had gotten hard, school was overwhelming, panic attacks everyday in the girls toilets... I had so many, I skipped classes, and I had to go home early because of them. 
Things were simply not great.

I had cut twice, only on my legs, and I still see the scars... they haunt me everyday.

When it came to this day, I had finally felt that it was time to just simply 'let go'. 

It was around 3:30pm, I had an argument with my best friend, and I instantly regretted it. I walked home, my sister called to talk about the Christmas present we were suppose to get for our parents, but I told her Goodbye. 

I got home around 4:00pm bawling my eyes out, Mum and Dad just thought for a moment, and said to give me space.
In the corner of my room, I had a round container of around 60 Deralin Tablets at the time were for my hands to stop shaking. 

The Container was in my hands, mind you the tablets were all smaller than tictacs, and I kept thinking to myself, 'don't do it, do it!' and for some reason, I just took them all. I hand the Green Lime PUMP bottle, taking the water and making sure they would all go down. It was then I started taking my other Tablets, and something had stopped me, like I had seen a vision right before my eyes or something, and I stopped and thought, 'what am I doing? Why am I doing this?' 

I came out of my room, Dad walked up to me, and I told him, 'I drugged myself'. Of course they called an ambulance, everyone was in shock. The ambulance came, and I was feeling fine. We got to the hospital, and I had to start getting changed into the gown, and that's when I started seeing things, my Mother had four eyes, my Dad had two noses, and I was giggling and telling them they looked funny.

The next thing I remember was waking up, I had blacked out to have a seizure right in front of my parent's eyes. I woke up and the nurse or whoever it was, asked 
'Emily, do you know what day it is?'
"It's Wednesday, the 9th, of the 12th, of 2015'
'Do you know where you are?'
"I'm at (First Hospital)"
'You're actually at (Second Hospital)'
And I tried looking over to my mother, asking her what was going on.

I remember before going to the ICU, the smoke detectors and all of that were playing air hockey, and I was rather entertained. 
That night was ICU, a tube down my throat, my Mother beside me at all times.

The next day, I woke up, I saw my mom, along with my Dad, my sisters and my Aunty, and I felt so happy they were there, but as well upset that I had done this to them. I had needles stuck on my arms and hands, I had to get an injection for my blood to keep flowing because I could hardly walk. I did start walking to the toilet that night, and I remember having those nasal catheter in, and I kept thinking I was Hazel Grace from The Fault in our Stars. 

I spent relatively four to five days in hospital, and all I wanted was to go home. I was suppose to go to a place for the night, but it was a horrible experience, I didn't end up staying.

The weird thing is, I am here, and I have come so far. I completed Year 11 and Year 12, and I now can drive a car, and I might be getting a new Job, things are looking up for me, I have so many people around me, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and especially without you guys, thank you so much.
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:iconpexxastar:
Pexxastar Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Ow :( Its so sad ! But i am proud of you that you stayed strong ! :)
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:iconsweetscarletsky:
SweetScarletSky Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you xx
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:iconmiacrystalmoon:
MiacrystalMoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2017  Hobbyist
Oh sweetheart ... your much stronger than you think and I'm so unbelievablely proud of you for continuing and sharing your beautiful person with us. We are really honored to have you here, as a friend. Please never give up and if you ever have a bad time again please lay on meHeart 
Reply
:iconsweetscarletsky:
SweetScarletSky Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you Mia, I'm very glad that you became my friend, you are so sweet. :heart:
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:iconmiacrystalmoon:
MiacrystalMoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2017  Hobbyist
Aww thank you so much! I'm really glad tooHeart Heart 
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December 8, 2017
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