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Someone asked me the other day what my definition of therianthropy is.
Whenever I hear this question, I am sure that I am about to be ridiculed and rejected. But then again, I usually think I’m about to be ridiculed and rejected, so I suppose that’s not relevant.
Firstly, there’s really no way to explain the way I feel when I’ve ‘shifted’. I am not thinking in English, my mind doesn’t form words like culture says it should. I don’t think about what I am, or what’s happened earlier, or what’s happening later. I think about whatsthatsmell or iseesomethingmoving. And nothing else really matters because thisisnow and iamhere.
Mind you, of course I know that I am never fully animal or fully human. It’s my sliding bar of life. Now I’m 30% animal, 70% human. Yesterday I was 80% animal, 20% human. Roughly, you know.

I’m struggling to put ‘my definition’ into words right now, because it seems so complex and yet so simple, so fluid and yet so incongruent. It was easier when I was sure I was wolf, but now that I’m not so sure, it’s easier to wonder if I’m fooling myself. But then I feel a little more ‘animal’, and I’m so, so sure that this is what I am, regardless of whether ‘therianthrope’ is the right word.

I am a therianthrope because of the fur I know should replace this bare, naked feeling. I am a therianthrope because of the big sharp teeth that should be here instead of these dull, flat molars. I am a therianthrope because of the wet black nose, the long muzzle, the sensitive ears that feel right compared to my fleshy nostrils, my short face, and the tiny ears on the sides of my head. I am a therianthrope because I want to run on four paws, because I desire the sharp crunch of bones in my mouth, because I want to raise pups instead or children, because I want to piss in the grass, because I crave the taste of raw flesh, because I know that this is not a game and I hate the romanticizing and I feel the need and instinct pressing in and it’s not fun.

You can never please everyone, and there are some people who would read this and call me a faker. That’s why I left the online community, in favor of only keeping in touch with those therians that I am close to. But now I find that I am much more sure of myself, even if I am in the process of re-studying myself, and I have decided to come back, if in a small way. I am lurking for the most part, but submitting my thoughts here on DeviantArt. And I know, now that I’m returning, becoming vocal once again, that I’ll have to prove myself to everyone, every single soul I meet eyes with.
I’m okay with that. I want to tell the world what I think, and to Hell with those who don’t like it.
:iconnkiay: was the one who asked me that question, and I got myself all fired up for a good argument. Fortunately, she wasn't looking for an argument, so I get to relax again. Hurr hurr.
Keep in mind, a lot of these explanations have been used before, i.e. the talkinglikethistoexplainhowithink and the sliding bar comparison.
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:iconxxdarkpawxx:
xXDarkpawXx Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm a North American Timber Wolf. I know exactly how you feel. I don't know any Therians irl. None of my friends knew what it was until I felt they should know what I am. They do not support or believe me but I can't blame them or hate them for it. It's their own choice. But it does leave me feeling lonely and upset. I've no one to connect or run with, to 'socialize' the way I used too. But remember this, you were never alone. Never will be.
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:iconmonkeypants786:
Monkeypants786 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your not alone. Im a cat therian (I like it! :D)!
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:iconskullzhead:
skullzhead Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Therians are really fascinating.. I think I was one once, but I've lost my touch with it or something.
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:icondragonwolfnurona:
Dragonwolfnurona Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2012  Student General Artist
I feel very similar to this... though the slider bar is slightly more equalized on my scale
Reply
:iconpistolvaunwulf:
PistolVaunWulf Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2010  Student Writer
okay, um... i know this deviation is like two years old, but i feel i need to add my two-cents... so i will...
I sincerely feel your pain. I too am unsure of myself, and my "therian-ness" varies from day to day, and i get a LOT of phantom ear shifts, and rarely a tail... and most non-therians aren't terribly kind to us, but that's mainly becuase they don't understand what's really going on in our heads; that goes especially for internet communities... But thank god for the curious people that want to learn instead of just saying "those therian people are crazy!"...
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:iconenju-yanazaki:
Enju-Yanazaki Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2010
Well put.
Reply
:iconinkitsuyasha:
Inkitsuyasha Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I always have my phantom ears and tail some days stronger than others I know what you mean and maby one day us Therian will find the answer to becoming what we once were
Reply
:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2010
Sorry, love. I don't really know what you mean by 'what we once were'.
Reply
:iconinkitsuyasha:
Inkitsuyasha Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
our old animal self's?
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:iconlexilovesfoxes:
Lexilovesfoxes Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2010
I thank you so much for putting this on here. I'm glad that I've found a definition that makes sense.
Reply
:icondogagilitynut21:
dogagilitynut21 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2009
I am a very recently awoken therian (like the past two months), and I have never experienced any phantom limbs, however, what you wrote is what I feel almost every day. Thanks so much for posting this and it feels good to finally know that Im not the only one feeling like this. :)
:hug:
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:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2009
Glad to help! If you'd ever like to talk, or need to be directed to some therian information, feel free to drop me a line anytime. ^^
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:icondogagilitynut21:
dogagilitynut21 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2009
thanks! :D
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:iconnegoran:
Negoran Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008
If you don't mind me asking, if you'vehad any phantom limbs? If so, what?
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:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2008
I have experienced phantom limbs, usually the ears and tail, sometimes the muzzle.
However, in a slightly different way, while talking with a stray cat and asking her about her ailments, I experienced a feeling of having her entire body, with pain and tingling in the right leg and cheek.
How about you?
Reply
:iconcelticmagician:
CelticMagician Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008   General Artist
I'm a recently awoken Therian, so I too understand the frustration you're feeling...I also tend to be a little wary of online communities for reasons similar to yours, so I hope I'm not intruding as well. I wish you the best of luck with your search. ^_^
Reply
:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
Intruding? Of course not!
I'm actually a little amazed to see a newly awakened therian who has immeadiately recognized the problems going on in the communtiy. Most newbies, myself included at one time, seem to get swept up in trying to gain respect for themselves and trying to become popular.

Good luck to you!
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:iconnegoran:
Negoran Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2008
I know what you mean, by them trying to become popular.I mayself, am newly awakened, but the strange thing is that I always knew. Right now is actually the first time I've said I'm one on the internet, so I'm not really searching for poularity. Me, I really don't care for most people in this world.
Reply
:iconyakarin:
Yakarin Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
I know what you mean, I'm re-studiying myself as well, now I'm not really sure, if I should qualify as a therian, but I do know there's something within me, dunno, good luck with your search =)
Reply
:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
Good luck to you as well!
Restudying one's self once in a while is always a good idea, I think, though slightly scary sometimes.
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:iconyakarin:
Yakarin Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
Oh yes indeed! Even more when someone really close to you would think you're mad if you told them what you think you are..
Reply
:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2008
Hehe. Yea, being accused of madness is generally not fun.
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:iconnkiay:
Nkiay Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008  Student Photographer
:hug:
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:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2008
^^ <3
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:iconnkiay:
Nkiay Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2008  Student Photographer
I feel so special now.
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:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2008
Heh. Me too!
Reply
:iconforeverchagrin:
ForeverChagrin Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And you will find your way. Listen intently with both sets of ears. Search with both sets of eyes. And feel with both minds.
Reply
:iconsummonerwolf:
SummonerWolf Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2008
Thank you. Those are words of wisdom indeed.
Reply
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