Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login


...

the night came through the open door
and spread its wings upon the floor, cold
feather leaves rustling fiercely gold, scattered
by my bare feet it brushed - battered, inducing
dreams, confusion, blanket questioning, life
its mysteries a stain on sorrow and strife, sudden
springing to sight, rushing unbroken, to shore
the night came through the open door

...
the night came though the open door
sumalangitnawa
okt 21 2001
...

it did
it was turquoise

...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkeen:
keen Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001   Writer
a great example of when high-syllabic lines feed an image. nice work.

enter the water:
be vascularized by
-light-

step into the slipstream: https://www.deviantart.com/deviation.php? id=85972
-flow-
Reply
:iconmeglocrush:
meglocrush Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
the rhyme scheme is awesome in this. such a beautiful/strong image.

:meglocrush: https://meglocrush.deviantart.com
(im not as eem as you think i am)
Reply
:iconlocussolus:
locussolus Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001

bitter chocolate mental tinga
heavy flavor
on the tongue

satori
opening and closing
and opening its eyes
again

close captioned
and reading along
aloud


Reply
:iconskyorange:
skyOrange Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001

hanep. amazing the way you gave life to the night. winged and mysterious, waking up confusion and sorrows of a stained life. it's sad that these are the thoughts that the winged night brings..


Reply
:icondreamz13:
dreamz13 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001
nice technique. has a smooth feel to it.

8-) (Cool) Dreamz == Reality 8-) (Cool)
Reply
:icon--888green888--:
--888green888-- Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001
Yeah, I know, I sawed it too. Such a poem of excellence and the rhymes, they are very amusing and not too cluttered... oh and salty, yes, just the way I like 'em.

Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconsumalangitnawa: More from sumalangitnawa


More from DeviantArt

Doctor WhoHurtling through time and space,
                                                     Can he ever find a place?
                                             Jumping forward to a brand new earth,
                                                Jumping back to an empty hearth.
                                             Forward again to see the Face of Boe,
                                                 Back in time to meet an old foe.
                                               He is pursued by an incessant fact,
                                              The likes of which he can't take back.
                                               His entire home, his people his soul,
                                               All gone, leaving him without a goal.
                                                   The last of the Time Wars,
                                                        The end of his kind,
                                                   He is trapped b


Details

Submitted on
November 1, 2001
File Size
0 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
112
Favourites
0
Comments
6
×