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...

i congeal on this bed
[pry]

i swim in my head
[try]

::driftwords - my bloated arms
are wrapped around
once again i am a lotus
focus fading in and out
and as skyward light
becomes pronounced
announced by my drowning wake::

i congeal on this bed
[cry]

i swim in my head
[sigh]

...
i congeal on this bed
sumalangitnawa
okt 15 2001
...

night still wake
day force still

...
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:iconlustrum:
lustrum Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2001   Writer
why so cold? of course, my favorite segment is that beginning in the ":" and ending in the ":"

lustrum
http://www.lustrum.org
A labyrinthine tale of God.
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:iconkeen:
keen Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001   Writer
it has a nice feel to it like a something sung with one instrument. the imagery-visual- is uniquely yours, and i now recognize the style to be yours.

step into the slipstream: https://www.deviantart.com/deviation.php? id=85972
-flow-
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:iconmeglocrush:
meglocrush Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
i love the repetition. i love the [rhymes].

"i congeal on this bed" is a brilliant image. great word choice.

:meglocrush: https://meglocrush.deviantart.com
(im not as eem as you think i am)
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:iconskyorange:
skyOrange Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
it's the Dali poetry. :) (Smile)

.
do you remember when i told you that vyncentvega is one of the most amazing commenters here at dA? now you know what i mean. ;) (Wink)

.


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:iconvyncentvega:
vyncentvega Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001
Ah, Zen and the Art of Poetry Writing, perhaps? I love it when writers put in the little side comments. Reminds me of my thought process -- focused on one thing, with the occasional flash of thought on the rim. The words you use here complement the form excellently, as well.

What can I say? I love the feeling of this poem. It keeps making me want to experience the scene being played out, even if it's not a happy one.

And of course "I congeal on this bed" has to be one of the best first lines I've seen in awhile.

Wonderfully done.

.:::O (Eek) ne lump or two, indeed.::.
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