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...

an afterthought to breathing



(over here), far a w a y
i missed meeting - you
right now, (not today...)
i met a missing you

stored under this
shelved subconscious self
mind waiting to matter
matter not minding to wait

again, peace by piece
uploading bits
i bit my lip
and hit CTRL CTRL CTRL
let go, ENTER
CAPPED SOUL LOCKED
untangle, break free

i send you me.
to a poet

5/31/2001
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:iconkabookie123:
kabookie123 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2001
Well, I have to admit it. Yes, I have to. It took me quite awhile to read this poem. I just couldnt stop reading the title
Over
and over
and over again.

An afterthought to breathing.
Inbetween breaths i read it
on the inhale
upon the exhale
with in the gaps between.

And as an after thought, (i somehow escaped the trance) i read the poem,
and was once again astounded.
CTRL CTRL CTRL
hard with so many wonderful voices and words spinning in my head.
Great work as always, further i go into the maelstrom, on to another poem by you :) (Smile) (still reading the ones that i missed :P (Razz) )
--kabookie
Riding a Phantom Lullaby
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:iconjsenn:
jsenn Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2001
How do we travel this life without 'seeing' the inside? People do that sometimes, you know, Mari? But you have this exceptional ability, the sound of a tuning fork, of being able to touch the inside of people and emotion with words which make others think, make others 'feel' and touch, on some ethereal plane the 'insides'. The observations, Mari, are truly a most outstanding thing about you and your talent. Perhaps...I heard Ruth say, in describing you (slightly reworded)..."I saw you on the edge. You seemed to be lost in thought"...that intuitive place you stand is what makes you introspective on behalf of others? Sometimes hard for you to bear, then released onto paper, they are glorious words from the 'inside.' And we are astounded.
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:iconsakura:
sakura Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2001   Interface Designer
........*speechless*........

ok now..me snaps out of it.....
liked the play with words..something definetly out of the norm here. Altho reading this at 7 am while eating ur cereal.. makes me head hurt...

me neeps more sleep
Cake*
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:icondigitaldecay:
digitaldecay Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2001
Oh, pardon me, I return.

I love love the stream-of-consciousness-like goings on.

[-diGitaLdecay-]
Wh.at.aP.ix.el.at.ed.We.bW.eW.ea.ve
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:icondigitaldecay:
digitaldecay Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2001
This applies to my inability to comment, but finds your poem exempt:

"There is absolutely no chance for a wordever to express anything. As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences, everything goes wrong."
Marcell Duchamp

:( (Sad) :) (Smile)

[-diGitaLdecay-]
Wh.at.aP.ix.el.at.ed.We.bW.eW.ea.ve
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:iconmiss-conception:
miss-conception Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001
far away, (over here)
she hit, and you Enter,
(not When, but Why)
she [downloaded] "you.txt", and
"you.zip"
bits by bytes for treasured bites.
she learnt, that in between Space Bars,
she was met by what was missing
without meeting... theFace.
this must be how the universe is universal.

~she tried to imagine you biting your lip ;) (Wink)

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:iconlustrum:
lustrum Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001   Writer
gah! you think of things i would never see. you have a devine hand at wordplay and rhyme play. it's strange the way it all flows so smoothly and at the same time im tripping down the wordy path, trying to picture the same word twice, with a different meaning; the same sound twice, with different words.

this goes for all your work, too. good job.

lustrum
http://www.lustrum.org
Rushing towards singularity.
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:iconcooper:
cooper Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001
Strange to me, differientiated from the norm, but I suppose that is why i like it so. lol. It is quite the twist on words.... but it is a great twist.

@coop@
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:iconpixelcatalyst:
pixelcatalyst Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001
(",)
their comments are sooo poetic... that is why i'm having a hard time commenting on poems... maybe the score above is enough.

Cuteness: A++




[-]www.pixelcatalyst.com
http://www.pixelcatalyst.com
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:iconskyorange:
skyOrange Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001
your words fill my head with thoughts, now overflowing. i catch these thoughts with my hands.. your name is written in all of them.

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:iconsavis:
savis Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2001  Hobbyist General Artist
Mmmmm words that melt in my hear. The first stanza is outstanding. I love the rearranging of the words to create a whole new meaning. Great work

Savis
---------------
Pain is inevitable
Suffering is optional
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