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my forehead parted like clouds - billowy, chaotic, fluid. i don't fully realize the meaning of my words. who does? he's gone, and he's gone, and he's gone as well. after drawn-out farewells, i know that he will not leave, that he will linger, that he will forget his scent here. in my bed, of all places.

after the handshake, a nervous flick of the wrist, i turned and sat, to play my cello. i fished out dissonant whimpers from its strings.

come on, i need you to come through, to be beautiful now. now as i sit here, my center, the universe recedes all about me. stars and comets fleeing from my spheres, out into the cold of existence.

is this a lonely song? no, the notes were just jumbled, a bit confused, a bit shaken. the notes that didn't know where on the staff to cling or how to jump from the lines of the page onto the quivering strings. just a bit lost, those notes. maybe there is too much billowing from my forehead. i should have closed it soon after it parted.

get up. i will. i am getting up. i did get up. i got up. i will. now. yesterday. tomorrow. i do.

i lay my cello by the broken guitar. my hands have been numbed by the drumming this evening. i was playing a rhythm to accompany his steps, to guide his steps, to create his steps. i look at my hands. they could be javanese i suppose. they are small enough. things slip through them. they can't catch too well.

right palm on the left lobe
left palm on the right lobe
press, press,
the clouds that have come out
have dispersed and dissipated
now part of a stranger's breath
press, press
they are good for this,
these hands

nov 7 2001

this is a parole violation.

i was working on a giant project and got sleepy despite liters of coffee. started writing. as usual, i was listening to CTHD "farewell".

so its all images, dont flip yourself out deciphering it. but then again if you get your kicks from that, be my guest.

i need to sleep now.
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faithwalker Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2001  Student Photographer
This is beyond moving. You are strong!


shadowbounce Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2001   Writer

...there is no middle, no mediocrity. You either IS, or you IS NOT. find out which catagory you fall under, send $5 cash plus $17.32 s/h to:
c/o PhoneBooth Joe Enterprises
Ave. of the Vagabond Box Lot
Square foot #27
Sterling, Va 20164

.........Child you be "tapped." Tis a blessing, especially how humbly it comes to surface, lest I be wrong....I don't think I am, this time.
keen Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2001   Writer
mmm... think i was half-asleep when i wrote that last comment mari... ;) (Wink)

step into the slipstream: id=96646
iridium Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001
Whoa. This reminds me of late night projects of mine. I haven't yet tried to decipher it, and I probably wont, rather, I'll just savour the literary goodness.

I r i D i u M
-step into the light-
ramdom Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001  Hobbyist General Artist
~ what a real poem is this. that realization that amidst the chaos and contentments of the heart you still have to straighten things out...

the cello must surely help with it's lonely rivulets of melancholy, but i doubt it.

the pressing of the temples to expel unwelcome clouds of angst may help also...hmmm.

for us?: analyzing this kind of thing never helps us understand what another truly goes thru - music and words and hands, these things help, as you have delicately confessed - in the end, we can only witness.
tobie Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001  Hobbyist General Artist
That was really great! Congrats on the DP too!

Evidently deserved.


Learn to love
and live to love
and learn to love living
madcoffee Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001  Professional Digital Artist
oh.. congratz suma... ang galing... ang ganda.

--oh look
Flame my site
my info:
ammegand Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001   Interface Designer
i just finished looking at a lot of your work of late. beautiful imagery here.
congrats on DD
i started reading this and doing some extreme slumping in my chair.

dreamz13 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2001
This is mighty amazing. There's a nice touch of forlornless and longingness that I detected in this. Takes my breath away.

Holidays where dreams meet reality Holidays
moon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2001
I really like this style of writing - abstract prose and short sentences that make you think {outside the box} and feel all at the same time. It flows really well, which works great with the musical imagery. Makes the whole thing sorta dance through your head as you read it. Very nice piece!

chaplinchild Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2001

this is superb! i mean it. people often battle with words... to correlate them with an emotion they are trying to convey. you seem to do it with such natural ease. i'm looking forward to reading your other stuff. well done.

pssss... it's one of the best i've read here.
lustrum Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2001   Writer
thick and heavy with abstract, frantic imagery. original, personal, dismal - all the same, incredible.

hey, i didnt interpret anything, because you said not to. im glad, too, because id be here all night making sense out of intentional nonsense.

oh, parole? im tired mari, and i ask too many questions. i need to sleep now, also.

A labyrinthine tale of God.
keen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2001   Writer
sounds like you tapped into the greyzone of mental decoupling some of find in the wee hours of the morning- this is the Time of free association and some of the most thought-provoking pieces to be produced....

and this is no exception.

step into the slipstream: id=85972
hesitation Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2001  Hobbyist Photographer
P.S. - i love the "She's so negative" thing on the top.
the idea and the way it was performed is just wonderful. :smiles:

Woman by Birth
Bitch by Choice
hesitation Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2001  Hobbyist Photographer
i love it.
i... feel it.
you like short
or interrupted sentences.
just like i do.

Woman by Birth
Bitch by Choice
noize Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2001

your parole officer would be proud of you..

this is painfully touching
and i don't know why..

take care of those little hands,
and take care of anything they touched..
meglocrush Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2001
wow. what amazing imagery. i adore the way you put words together. the last two lines are great.

(im not as eem as you think i am)
oiboi Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2001   Photographer
Whoa... great poem! Different style... than im used to... but thats part of what makes it great!!

As for the subject of the poem... hmmm... chin up...

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