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...

she rages
she rages on

flocks, swans
feathers on the purple sky
high above the blue
high above the blue

gather round her passions
tie a string around
you can't
you can't stay
you can't leave
go before she stops you


sumalangitnawa
may 2001
sort of unfinished, but nothing else would come out.
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:iconskyorange:
skyOrange Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2001
nope, i don't think the poem is incomplete. the lines are just full of motion, kinda builds up in the end, gives a certain rush. the last line puts a big period.

miss-conception's and joy's additions are wonderful though. you + jacqz and you + joy make fantastic poetry together. yep, why not a commdev?
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:iconjsenn:
jsenn Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2001
I actually thought this poem was complete but I was intrigued by the challenge, therefore.....
..

she rages
she rages on

flocks, swans
feathers on the purple sky
high above the blue
high above the blue

gather round her passions
tie a string around
you can't
you can't stay
you can't leave
go before she stops you

you think amiss, perhaps
I have no desire
to leave or run
but to sit here under Sabine's Sun
to stop, perhaps, listen, perhaps
feel with senses never used
purpled sky, blue on high
truth and beauty we'll peruse


****
it is strange because I did intend to run away, but it changed as I wrote...yeah, strange and I think I would have run at another time. I love it when we take specific words and give our own interpretive finish to it. That is so interesting. I think you ought to start a community project Mari, hmmm, maybe you and Jacqz. It would be sooo interesting to involve the community in a project you and/or Jacqz might design. Think about it....okay?
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:iconmiss-conception:
miss-conception Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2001
i don't think it's as incomplete as it may seem at first. i found the ending to be pretty strong. hm. but i had fun anyway when i heard the other voice say...

But I be observer with voice
that forces the sun out
you must try, try to kiss me
and give me your passion
unleashed.

and i went like, huh? heh... :D (Big Grin) Roll Eyes
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:iconsumalangitnawa:
sumalangitnawa Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2001
hmm. ok. here's the SLN challenge:

if you feel the poem is incomplete, try finishing it based on your own interpretation of the piece. this should be fun. i know i can't add anything anymore, so why don't you try?

..sln..
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:icondaniw:
daniw Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2001  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You have got to continue this poem, I can already see a wonderful piece taking place. Maybe you could add something about winds of fury or storms to further symbolize the emotion.

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:iconstapler:
stapler Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2001
'gather round her passions
tie a string around'

I like those two lines ALOT. Sorry you lost the muse for it. :| (Mad)


Spiral out...keep going...

-+- BTEG.com: We love your mama! -+-
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