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briny steam rises
dilutes effervescing cherry cola

i hold
hold still
on here
this life

soups spill
sodas go flat
chill and hot -
entropy takes into

but so?
i hold
this universe is real
this universe
- no glasshouses
no gossamer-winged dragons -
but is real
and this here
is still
am - i.

okt 26 2001

10 cents
of yes

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lustrum Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2001   Writer
hm, indeed. i felt like reading some of your work, and when i came to see, you had submitted all this. so i think that's good for my situation - sitting in class, with nothing to learn of any use, ;) (Wink) -; however, i feel that it is also not so good for you. perhaps i am wrong.

it was hard to see what your intent was in this, and again it wasn't. i say it was hard b/c beyond the obvious i wonder what was imbued deeper into the skin of this poem? maybe it is that you have found the very hollow existance within this "real universe"; the existance that allows no fairy tales to exist, no fantasies to come true as one wishes. and so, why does your "entropy take into lukewarmth"?

sorry my ruminations on your "Ramenations" are so shallow. i might come back here after class, when i can think..

ciao Mari, adieu -

A labyrinthine tale of God.
meglocrush Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
this makes me hungry.

it also reminds me of how poor i am. 15 bucks = food for a month. 2 meals of ramen a day. my kitchen is a "ramen nation." lol. im hungry.

(im not as eem as you think i am)
locussolus Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
10 cents buys all this?

hunting for reality, solidity through the transcience of rising steam and carbonation. and its found. there. here. everywhere. always just beneath the surface of things. just look, just look. and its found.

skyOrange Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001

noodle-lified enlightenment
and soup philosophy

here, take a sip.
the i reflected on the surface
of cherry cola.

nourished poet.

thelambofgod Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001   Writer

hmmmm very interesting you have quite a diverse vocabulary!
--888green888-- Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001
ah, yes this is very interesting. the mentioning of things we often go all our lives without giving much notice is very much so the touch of this poem... 'tis very good.

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Submitted on
November 1, 2001
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