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a swan swims on a lake
ad its feathers get dusty
it tucks its wing under its wing
as the dull dawn gets lusty

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dusty swan
sln
nov 1 2001
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love and swans

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:iconcorrodingsun:
corrodingsun Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2001
of your latest bulk-submission of poetry, i was not quite sure which one was my favourite. some of the submissions i didn't like at all for no particular reason besides my being not able to relate to them, so maybe it was rather them disliking me. who knows.

anyway, at first i thought "sense" was my favourite, because it was minimalistic and seemed very true, but then i read about truths in "bloated expressions", so i let go of "sense", and now i really believe that this, "dusty", is what likes me most.

it's not as minimal, but in another way much smaller and more to another point.

christ, i'm loosing this one.

Lazarus Amen
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:iconkeen:
keen Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001   Writer
tight para-haiku condensed imagery. think i'll sit by the lake, lean back, and watch.

step into the slipstream: https://www.deviantart.com/deviation.php? id=85972
-flow-
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:iconmeglocrush:
meglocrush Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001
makes me smile. :) (Smile)

:meglocrush: https://meglocrush.deviantart.com
(im not as eem as you think i am)
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:iconnoize:
noize Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2001

lovely poem strongly exciting..

for some reason..
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:icon--888green888--:
--888green888-- Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2001
and then it turns musty, yes, yes.
Short and different. Good.

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