Progress yet dilemma. And a headache.

7 min read

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suishouyuki's avatar

First off I want to thank everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday yesterday; that really meant a lot to me and reading those was a lovely part of my day. ('oωo`) :huggle: ;w;
I had a generally good day yesterday. It started off great and ended was the middle that was a bit not-so-great, and it's that very thing that is giving me a headache right now, literally.

I was going through pictures that I had planned to put in my artbook, organizing and considering which pictures would stay in the place I'd put them in the dummy copy and which ones would move, and seeing all of them together made me realize something. As far as the feeling/meaning of each picture, they're all over the place. Only a few actually reflect the title I had originally chosen. There is no common thread among most of the pictures, and some are from last year, with so many flaws that I would have to redraw the entire thing to make it good enough to even put in my artbook. A few pictures are pictures I don't even like, pictures I never feel like working on, pictures that don't have my heart in them. So I rearranged the image thumbnails, removing pictures I really don't love, and opting for the ones that captured me as soon as I saw them--those are worthy; those I like; those I want to work on!
And then I realized something else.
Most of those pictures are original art, which isn't bad at all! However, the fanart ratio is smaller than I'd intended, and it consists mainly of Yu-gi-oh! and Naruto, with a handful of art from other fandoms. I don't really know what to do about this, I realized. Is my art good enough that people would want to buy an artbook from me without it being stuffed with fanart? As I began to have doubts about that, I continued looking over my notes and advice provided to me and such, and then I realized something else
I have not accounted for the bleed and cutoff areas in ANY of my pictures. If I were to print it right now, pictures would have to be resized and any slight rotations in printing would cause blank paper to show. Important things might get cut off.
After realizing that third thing, I wanted to cry.
After several attempts to make this thing; attempts that kept falling through as I couldn't meet my own that I'm so close to actually accomplishing my's like it's been snapped in two. And maybe it hasn't. I know I could just make the pictures smaller and maybe even do borders to reduce worry about the bleed/cutoff issue, but...who really wants to see that? -A- I could make it entirely original art, but I don't know whether or not you guys would want to buy it like that. What I really want to do is Yu-gi-oh! fanart right now;;; If I changed it to a YGO artbook...well, I don't know how many of you YGO fans are lurking in the shadows out there, so I don't know how many would buy that. But that's really what I want to do! orz
I've almost made up my mind to just follow my heart and do the YGO artbook, because if my heart's not in the picture, it has no life. If I'm just drawing something because I think that's what people want to see, then it's not truly coming from me, is it? This whole process is supposed to be fun. This artbook is a chance to give everyone a physical representation of my energy and my efforts, to share what I love in a form that's not just bits of data online, or words typed into a journal like this. That really is the core of it, isn't it? I think so.

Yesterday afternoon, I expressed these same feelings and thoughts to my mom,  who suggested that between my two options (1. finish what I've got right now with the current artbook plan and get a product I'm not satisfied with or 2. start over and do it right this time) it would be better to just start over, with better planning and more preparation than I've done for the current artbook. After sleeping on it, I think I agree with her. At the same time, though, I am aware of the fact that I keep changing the plans and deadlines and I therefore feel like I'm leading everyone who's waiting patiently for the final product in circles. So I am going to ask for your opinion yet again. I won't ask anything like 'what should I do?' or 'what would you rather buy?' or 'what would you like to see?' because I've asked those things many times before and that's really not what I'm wanting to know right now. I just want to know what you guys think about all of this. I'm sure you have an opinion. XD

And I'm glad I'm writing this journal. I debated it with myself a bit, because I do talk about 'the artbook' a lot...almost like a broken record, it seems. And while I didn't want to bother anyone with it, it's a real concern for me that I need to get off my chest. I don't really rant a lot, and I don't think this is really even a rant... Anyway, already my head is feeling better.

Ah, and just to clear this up beforehand, starting over doesn't mean I'd start from scratch. I already have plenty of YGO fanarts that I've never uploaded. ^^; I have plenty of WIPs and plenty of fresh ideas. I can do more sketch requests and maybe, maybe include some guest art...?

It's just...I really want to show my best this time. I want to do it right.

© 2011 - 2022 suishouyuki
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lantere's avatar
I think you should take to your time, and end up with something you are satisfied with.
Don't just put things together for the sake of what others might want.

If your heart is not in it, people will see/feel it in your work.

I am not an artist (as my profile picture clearly shows) but I hate giving my work to someone when I am not happy with it.
Doing that leaves a constant nagging in my mind that I can't ignore.
I know I can do better.
I know it.

I don't care if others are happy with the end product.
If I am not happy with the results, it always looks inferior to me.
And that makes me feel inferior.

But this is your decision.
We can't decide for you.
We can only give you our reasons.

Whatever option you choose, will be right for you.
And we will support you in that choice.