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New Moon

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 7, 2009, 5:12 PM


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Last night I went out to the wonderfully retro Cinerama Dome in Hollywood, where I saw New Moon, the second installment in the Twilight "saga." I wrote a snide little blurb on my FB page, but I feel compelled to write a longer entry here.

When I heard last year that Catherine Hardwicke, the director of the first Twilight movie, had been fired by the Hollywood boy's club, and Chris Weitz, the hack responsible for foisting The Golden Compass upon the world, had been put in her place, I knew this meant the sequel would be crap.  And I was right!

New Moon is a big snooze.  It's superficially pretty, but there is nothing engaging about it.  Even worse, it drags on for an ass-busting two hours and twenty minutes.  Twilight wasn't a great movie, but it was entertaining, it had a certain liveliness and charm, and the actors were engaged.  In New Moon all the performers struggle valiantly through the uninspiring material, but it's a losing battle. I felt sorry for Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart, who deserve better-- especially Stewart, whose character, Bella Swan, is so relentlessly self-absorbed, passive and navel-gazing that she becomes a gigantic black hole on the screen, draining the life from the audience.   

Maybe I would have liked the movie better if it were, say, an hour shorter.  It also would have been better if one of the side characters-- like Alice or Jacob-- were the focus of the movie, since they actually seemed to have a personality.  Bella had no function except to be continuously rescued, to stare gloomily into space, or to gaze dreamily into her sweetie's eyes. Get the girl some Prozac already! The two most intriguing actors in the movie were the ones playing the villainous vampires-- like Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria, and Michael Sheen as Aro.  However, they weren't given that much to do, which is a pity, since the only exciting moments in the movie came from Aro and Victoria being evil.  

Even worse, the movie really lacked the right sensibility.  Twilight had the right feeling of dreamy adolescent romance fantasy-- whereas New Moon just feels like big soulless Hollywood product.  I refuse to see any more of these movies in the theater.  It'll be interesting to see what they do with the horror show that is Breaking Dawn though.  Vampire caesarean section-- how is Weitz going to make that palatable, I wonder?




  • Listening to: NPR
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:iconelenatria:
ElenaTria Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I haven't watched New Moon yet but Twilight sucked to begin with. So I wouldn't expect much from the SEQUEL of a saccharin romance targeted to teenagers who like their vampires tamed and fixed.
What do you think was the problem with the Golden Compass? 'Cause I loved the books and I loved the cast and sets and everything... but something was missing! (and oh, where are the sequels btw..?)
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Hey, I don't mind the first Twilight movie because I'm a Catherine Hardwicke fan. The second blew chunks though.

Why did The Golden Compass suck? I'd say for much the same reason the direction of New Moon wasn't successful-- both movies were over-long, somnolent, superficial and unfocused. In both movies, there were interesting ideas that were touched upon. But you know how a good essay takes three or five themes, with each one discussed and used to create a compelling argument that supports the thesis? In both of his films Weitz takes on a whole bunch of themes, but none are explored in any detail-- in the end they feel like the cinematic equivalent of a collection of random opening sentences, with no thesis at all. So when the movie is over, you don't really know what to think, you're just thinking, so yeah...

That's my take on it, anyways. And there will never be any sequels to The Golden Compass because it was a huge Eragon-sized bomb. I'm not really sad about it either. Weitz should never have been given Compass to direct in the first place.
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009
LMFAOOOO I was wondering the same thing! THe only thing New Moon did was show the series for what it really was: A CRAPFEST!!...With hot shirtless werewolves with rippling muscles!
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
The whole Indians=werewolves really bugs me too. Because they're ethnic and brown, they must have this crazy animalistic passion, amirite? And the vampires are all white and classy. Yuck! :p
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2009
lol rascism is not cool!! dammit stephanie meyer! Gah there's just so much wrong with that book.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
Speaking of the effect of Twilight on the Quileute tribe, read this: [link]
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2010
wow that article was really interesting and I wonder if s.meyer has read it at all. It made some good points.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
I really wish she would read it. I don't know what she thinks of Native Americans, but official Mormon theology is not kind to them.
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2010
there are a lot of books and articles she should read concerning alot of what she's written about in her books, but of course she wont seeing as she probably thinks her work is THE work.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
I've heard she reads everything online about her... which might mean she's reading these comments right now! Isn't that a spooky thought? :D

She might become a better writer, but probably not. Have you known anyone who's ever read "The Host"?
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(1 Reply)
:iconelenatria:
ElenaTria Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
So you're telling me people DIDN'T know the series was a crapfest since Twilight?... =P
(and I loooooove your sig, "unfulfilled dreams of a Mormon woman", you hit the nail on the head ;) )
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2009
haha thanks and well yeah but now that it's in its visual form I think it's more obvious
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:iconelenatria:
ElenaTria Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Ah wow, didn't know that.. I haven't read the books. I got friends who have read them though. :O :frustrated:
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:iconrockpunk92:
rockpunk92 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2009
Haha save your brain cells!
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:iconelenatria:
ElenaTria Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh I will!..
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:iconadielle:
Adielle Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Whats more depressing is that these books are now being taught in high schools. They are somewhat enjoyable, but from an author's standpoint, they were awful compared to some of the great literature out there. The plot is barely there, its only the anticipation and emotion that even remotely keeps it out there as being decent.

Whats worse? So many books are popping up now that are all more or less the same freaking story. A vampire romance thats "Romeo and Juliet-esque." I don't mind a romance now and then and I certainly don't mind vampires stories, but need we all write the same thing over and over and over again? Why is it that the truly unique and origianl ideas are published but don't get nearly as popular as all this regurgitated BS?

I agree though, Stewart is like a "black hole on the screen." Not only the character, Bella, but the actress is a tad dull. She's definitely got the look, but she really can't act that well. She has some potential, but obviously hasn't really found it yet.

It dragged and honestly, what the hell was up with that opening scene? Odd and honestly not needed is all I can describe it.

Oh well.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
It's a big steaming pile of stupid but that's the publishing industry for you-- always happy to jump on a new trend. Twilight is just the flavor of the month-- in a few years there's going to be scads of those books at the local used bookstore. Edgar Allan Poe (who moonlighted as a book critic) complained about much the same thing in the 1840s.

I think Stewart is capable of good work-- I liked her in Panic Room and Adventureland-- but she really hates her role and the whole Twilight franchise, which probably explains her lack of enthusiasm on screen. (I hope for her sake that Breaking Dawn isn't turned into two movies like they're thinking, because she might end up murdering her agent. Yeah, she's that unhappy with it.)

What was the opening scene again? I've already forgotten it.
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:iconamberisabella:
AmberIsabella Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I found it hilarious. Me and my friends just laughed the whole way through. It was so bad, it was good. :P
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I needed booze :P
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:iconamberisabella:
AmberIsabella Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Yep, booze helps. :)
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
:beer: :w00t:
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:iconarkilliandragon:
ArkillianDragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I believe if they removed Edward it'd be a 80% improvement. Removing Bella would fix it. The secondary characters were fun. If the plot was about them and the COOL vampires then it'd be an excellent movie. Sadly, the main character's parts ruin it T.T
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
It would be nice if the vampires would act vampirically... I liked Pattinson and Stewart well enough in the first movie, but here they were sleepwalking through the entire thing. The only way I could have enjoyed it was a lot of booze. :P
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:iconarkilliandragon:
ArkillianDragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
There was plenty of eye candy atleast :) The were wolves were shirtless most of their on screen life. I appreciated this. I wish it wasn't the only feature besides the epic vamps at the end thoguh.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
It was weird-- there were lots of attractive guys in the movie, but I wasn't feeling the love. (I blame Weitz.)
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:iconarkilliandragon:
ArkillianDragon Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah- it needed to take focus away from Bella and have her hang out with the guys. Maybe if they wore a bit more clothing then it would've been less about eye candy and more about how cool they were. Donno.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
There was so much wrong with that movie, I can only hope they skewer it on Rifftrax.
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:iconblightedangel:
blightedangel Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I purchased the first book, and that's the last penny I've put into this sad franchise. I support your decision to boycott further movies! Hooray for passive protest! lol
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I'll just d/l torrents of the upcoming movies instead, so I can write snarky posts. W00t!
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:iconblightedangel:
blightedangel Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Hooray for internet pirates! Arrrrr!
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
/puts on eyepatch
//puts parrot on her shoulder
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:iconhaius:
haius Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Hobbyist
I don't think I even want to IMAGINE Breaking Dawn...
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah... *shudders*
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:iconadielle:
Adielle Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
That has to be the worst book I ever read. The first three were decently bareable, but Breaking Dawn was Stephanie Meyer selling out to the publishing companies. The books were so popular they expected her to write another when it seemed as though it was already finished.

Biggest mistake you can make as a writer is changing the viewpoint in which the story is told, not to mention, AFTER THREE BOOKS IN. It was awkward and none of the characters acted like they did throughout the books. It honestly felt like another book altogether because none of the characters even remotely resembled how she first wrote them. There was no sense of character growth either.

As soon as she had the vampire baby, I put the book down and never came back to it. It was just too stupid to bear and the writing was horrible.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah, I heard lots of hilarious BD satire from the likes of Cleolinda. [link] Have you ever read her LJ? She's hilarious!

The first book was pretty unexciting to me, so I had no interest in continuing the series. I was told by everyone that the series just went downhill from Twilight, so I didn't feel like I was missing anything. Here's my review of Twilight the book here. [link]
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:iconcaliypsoe:
Caliypsoe Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
Lol were you expecting Titanic? It's near impossible for something like that to even have a chance at decency when the material it's based on is an embarrassment to literature.
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Since I hated "Titantic" with the intensity of a thousand blazing suns, no, I was not expecting "Titanic." I was expecting a more leisurely version of the first movie, which was an entertaining enough B movie. But "New Moon" just sucked. It could have been better with a tighter pace, a shorter running time and a different director. But they had Chris Weitz, who I now hate as much as "Titanic." Blurgh.
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:iconcaliypsoe:
Caliypsoe Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
Haha I'm glad you specified you were expecting a B movie lol. [[By the way, I was just using Titanic as the stereotypical "love story" movie reference. I probably should have used a better example like Pride and Prejudice or Casanova etc.:XD:]]
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh, okay. Although I have not seen either of those movies... ;P
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:iconyeahgirl11:
yeahgirl11 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Since I hated "Titantic" with the intensity of a thousand blazing suns, no, I was not expecting "Titanic."
LOL

I didn't even know you was into Twilight. :XD:
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I'm not, but the movie was OK.
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:iconyeahgirl11:
yeahgirl11 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Ah. I don't know how you dealt with it. :XD:
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
I like Catherine Hardwicke.
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:iconyeahgirl11:
yeahgirl11 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
Is that the actress who plays the main character, or is that the director? :o
Yeah, I'm clueless. :XD:
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:iconsuburbanbeatnik:
suburbanbeatnik Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
She's the director. [link]
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