So far, so good. I think things are starting to stabilize. I quit smoking and drinking. I feel better than I ever have before. I haven't uploaded anything to this or Flickr lately because I had my camera gear stolen. I am going to get a new one... VERY soon.
She is all I had hoped for and dreamt of since that chilly winter morning in January, and now we speak everyday and we are happy, smiling over words sent to each other. Although now it seems she is even farther than ever. We see each other only in photos or in our dreams of past memories or hopeful futures. What is it now that keeps us further? Is it the dreaming and hoping? Or is it that we are just in a dream and nothing more? If I am sleeping I wish not to wake unless she will be there smiling and laughing with those shining blue eyes.
So I'm stuck in a place where I've been before, delaying what I must do for the best. Although I can't seem to understand why I don't do what I need because I am so set on this. I know how I feel about doing it and I know the end results. This is always one of the most difficult tasks in life for me to complete and it sucks I may have to do it more in the future, I know I've done it more than enough in the past, and here in the present, it haunts me once more.