So, how many of you have been through this situation: you want to go on a date with someone and you're open to what you're interested in...but things never seem to work out the way you want them to? That's sort of where I stand currently. I've been trying to go on a date and at least try to make myself more sociable with the opposite sex in multiple manners; execept there are a couple problems with that situation.
One of which...is that I'm one of the "Evolved". I wish I could say I was still human but I abandoned that some time ago. My current "species" is that of an anthromorphic Alaskan Malamute dog and a big one at that. If you've ever seen pictures of male bodybuilders...well imagine something much more massive and beefy...and with a massive wang hidden away in his shorts. Yeah, I sort of went overboard with the size on both ends, probably due to how I was feeling at the time. It's hard to say if I'm still growing or not but I do feel overwhelming to many around me just due to my own stupid decisions at the time. But that's not the half of it.
The other problem is that there seems to be a situation where neither side, neither my former state as a human or my current state as an "Evolved", has come to any assistance to me. In regards to humans, there is an issue of both fear and racism regarding living alongside those who have chosen to abandon themselves to become one of this new race of being. The "evolved" have emerged recently due to genetic developments more or less originally meant to try and ensure species survival in the threats of climate change, global warming and the massive extinction the planet is undergoing due to human influences. There are quite a few conditions that one must be before they can become one of the Evolved; the least of which is a level of strength and muscularity that allow for the body to withstand it's forced evolution into something greater than it's original human capability. Combine together the larger sizes with the abandonment of human elements for more beastial ones and obviously humans are going to be scared for their lives. Many countries have downright banned this sort of treatment and some only have small areas or municipalities where they can live, generally in towns or cities near labs where the evolutions take place.
Yet even in these towns, there are still humans living there and most of them don't see the point of the new strangers. They see these hulking creatures emerging and just wonder what has been brought upon the world. There are many who use some sort of excuse or another to see us as this massive problem: many on the religious right have already taken up arms and preached that we are an abhorration to the creations that "God" have brought upon the world; in the same sort of manner as many old preachers used to preach against differences in races or sexual orientation. Many politicians see us as a potential threat that can bring their conservative constituants to the polls and try to regulate or even eliminate us; despite how the towns where we tend to be end up having a boon in their local economy due to their growing population of Evolved. This has made the humans who actually do seem to understand us few and far between; those are the ones that seem to get where we're going and why we made these decisions and want us to live our lives the way we want to. The rest either seem ambivalent to our existence, try to use us for their own advantage, or just find some ways to torment us with many of us being naive regarding why it's happening.
That sort of happened on one date I had with one of the few that actually appears to respect me: my boss. I work for a warehouse doing a lot of hauling; I actually got this job to fund my own evolution since I couldn't afford it otherwise. It's a bit like being an indentured servant: they give you the grant to mutate, but you have to work with them for several years using your new state as an Evolved so that part of your money gets docked for payment of the treatment. (there are ways out of the contract but you still have to pay it back and it gets expensive) I was working there one day doing my job, using my body to it's limit straining it to carry around boxes and equipment for an internet retailer who put a major warehouse in our neck of the woods taking advantage of a tax break set up to grow the town and benefit the Evolved population. My boss is a nice guy; middle-aged African-American man who grew up with racism himself and who sees what we're going through as a stage that we have to get through in order to make a better world for ourselves. Personally I used to be a skinny white guy before my transformation and learned to be respectful of all those around me; so to have such respect from someone like him was just something that I appreciate. One day, he came up to me and made mention of something: he had a daughter, around 19 or 20 or so, and he wouldn't mind that I took her out on the town for the night. I was a bit surprised by this considering that he was just so forwards to this; and it actually wasn't that bad a looker either: she was dark-skinned but had silky long hair; a great bosom and backside and he even said she worked out and that her butt is more muscle than flab. He tried to be lewd with me but I just kept it to myself not really wanting to say anything without offending him. We had to keep professional anyway and I figured "why not, maybe it could help me with the company".
Saturday night came around and I got as best as I could dressed up for the date. I shampooed my gray fur all over and made sure there was nothing that looked split or unkempted; even coming the hair I had on my head in a short manner. I even took some of the money I had in the bank and rented the best suit I could get in my size; it was supremely tight and looked akward having a Malamute anthro in it, but I didn't think I looked that bad outside how obtrusive my package still looked. She had her hair up in a nice updo like one of those old soul singers from the 60s and sounded like her voice was high on helium; I swore her breasts looked bigger in person than they did in the picture! I decided to take her to this great Italian place that was rather moderately priced; sure it was going to be tough to afford considering the docked pay but I had to treat her somewhat well. I ended up having a rare steak while she just stuck with a salad and water; somehow she was eating like a bird despite how well put together she was. I should have suspected something when she vanished for thirty minutes to go to the bathroom; or when I saw several other African American males and females gathering at the window gawking at the freakish Malamute in a suit and tie looking ridiculous despite being a monster and a beast in the same appearance; but of course I couldn't just leave the table since I was in charge of the bill.
The date basically ended with her approaching me no longer in her dress or her updo hairstyle but with her hair down with hairspray stenching the place up wearing a halter top that showed her abs and a tight pair of leggings. She told me to my face that I was a freak and that she only agreed to go out with me so she could get her dad off her back and she could go out clubbing with her friends that night behind his back. I tried to apologize but she just took the most expensive bottle of water out on one of the tables and dumped it on top of me, claiming that she hid away her hairspray smell with the smell of wet muscle dog. It was a horrible incident; so horrible that one of the part-timers had to come out and dry me off with a towel after it was all said and done. She said what they did to me was cruel and that I shouldn't have to put up with it; but I didn't want to cause a ruckus. If I pulled anything, I'd be the monster and fall into that trap that made us look as bad as we did. I just got up, paid for the meal, gave the nice girl a tip alongside the waiter who serviced me and left. I never wanted to go back there again and, when the boss asked about the date two days later, I just kept what his daughter did to me to myself instead of telling him the truth. He made accusations that I went wild and turned into a beast against my will; but none of that happened when she was the one who started it. He was still friendly to me but we never really got personal like that again after that.
As if that wasn't bad enough with how humans treat me, that isn't getting into the other Evolved. I'm not necessarily one of the newest of the race, but those around me just end up seeing me as someone who is both too special and not special enough at the same time. The former is that they sort of see this goliath of a man right there in front of them and wonder what they did to have me around. As mentioned, I sort of went overboard when I did what I did so obviously others sort of just see me as this big boy with a big body and a big wang and that maybe he's not the right one to spend any time near or around. I try my best to at least present myself like I'm normal, as normal as a goliath anthro can be, but of course I always seem to stand out because of this size, whether my mass or the thing in my pants.
On the other hand, what makes me see as not special enough is that I really just feel like one of the crowd to all those around me. As mentioned, I chose to make this decision to become like this on my own, so therefore I chose to evolve into the being that I've been for a while now. But even though I feel more like someone who belongs as part of this community than I ever did as a human being, I still feel really alone in trying to make it with some other Evolved regardless of gender. They see me and if they're not scared or just have the same size (since I'm not the only one this big), then they just see me...as another one. Yet another of the Evolved, yet another human who has abandoned his life to this glorious state and that means nothing because nearly everyone they know outside some friends and family they left behind are the exact same thing. These people are all in cliques of their friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, or whatever they are and don't need some random Malamute Evolved to be part of their in crowd with all the others that they have around them that they think make them feel all the more special. When it comes to getting a date or even meeting a girl, it just makes me feel like another hunk of hunk that is out there that they can just turn down for someone else altogether: another guy with a huge muscular frame, a big or bigger wang, and probably has some personality quirk or species element they prefer over...well, me. I do find time to at least try to interact with them but it is a hard life trying to get somewhere in a manner that feels like I belong, let alone get a girlfriend.
Such is the case with the last time I went out with someone; and she was a real cutie at that. A little bit after the whole incident with the boss' daughter, I actually met a girl who had just emerged from the labs and was starting her new life as an Evolved. Her name was Rhea and she was a rhinoceros girl; I could tell she had just emerged due to her physique not being as extreme as some end up making it as they evolve themselves further with their genetic treatments or their own personal desires. Her body was rather bulky but beaituful, with a huge but not massive bosom and a great proportion; her most adorable attribute were these cute braids she had that made her look very much like a little girl. Rhea explained that she kept those as a reminder of what she was prior; having been an anorexic prior to her own mutation and just thinking that with how much she looked like a little girl prior to going through what she did, it worked to show how far she had come. I met her due to signing up at the gym where I worked out; many of the guys didn't really notice or pay attention to her since they weren't that interested in a rhino, but I sort of did see her and figured she would be worth a shot. She looked adorable and rhinos weren't that bad to look at; especially since she still had her soft parts despite her muscularity and rough skin. Her confidence was rather bold considering she had never been muscular before starting her path to being an Evolved, so she actually was the one who asked me out and I accepted; if she was going to charge forth then I should charge with her.
We ended up keeping it casual for the first date and it actually went really well: we went to an old-time cafe run by one of the older Evolved who had been altered into a gecko man for a long while before all us youngun's came up there. She seemed really interested and I actually did try my best to talk to her and keep up pleasant conversation. We didn't kiss after the date or anything but she did have a nice time; so much so that we ended up seeing a movie the next week. And for a while, she did hang out with me at the gym, with the two of us working out around the same time and just pushing ourselves as best as possible. Rhea seemed to admire me and thought she could continue growing to maybe be as big as me, maybe even with some added breast meat for her to utilize with me when the time was right. I felt like I was getting somewhere with a nice sweet girl and that my bad luck was starting to turn around; we were both the freaks of the gym and we felt like we were meant for each other!
Then about a week or two after the date, she stopped showing up around the same time as me at the gym. I figured that Rhea had her own life too so it wasn't like it was that big a deal. I tried calling her up but her cell was never on; it was as if she was either avoiding me intentionally or just was saving her battery for something important. Again, I never made a big deal about it because we had our own lives; I didn't need her and she probably didn't need me either. I couldn't just bind myself down with a girl and settle down when I was still young and foolish myself, even if she was probably as young and foolish.
It was about a month or so later that I finally met up with Rhea again...and I saw why she wanted to avoid me altogether. Somehow she had found an entire group of rhinos living in another part of town who saw this female with huge potential and wanted to guide her along accordingly. I tried to start up a conversation with her and she was about to say something, but one of the other rhinos; another much larger female, prevented her from saying anything. She was just like a little girl to them and they needed to protect their little girl until she was a woman, even if they probably had no relation other than species choice when they became Evolved. For all I know, I could have ripped off my clothes and gotten hard right there to prove my love and it wouldn't have even been enough for Rhea, because she had found her in-crowd and she wasn't going to be swayed away for anything...not even me. It didn't even hurt me as bad as what happened with the boss' daughter, mainly because I should have figured that was going to happen: she found a clique and that clique didn't want to have her influenced by some random Malamute Evolved that she met prior to meeting them. I did try to call her one last time but there was no response on her cell; for all I know the rhinos saw that number, prevented any further contact, and then blocked my number in the end. So much for that, I suppose. I sort of hope Rhea did grow bigger for her own sake; I would love to see what she's become in a year or two.
With my lonliness as is, I still get off on something despite my own state both as a virgin and as someone whose needs end up being much bigger than you'd think. I actually have this imaginary lover that I think of whenever I want to get off and not worry about the likes of Rhea or the boss' daughter or any of the other problems in my life. There's this bodybuilder lately in competitions: a brown bear by the name of Giselle from up in Canada. I've seen her in competitions and she's just adorable: her muscularity's large but what gets me are those massive breasts and those adorable pigtails that she keeps. Somehow the little girl look like Giselle...or Rhea...have always seems to get to me somehow or another; especially with a supremely mature body like they both have. Unfortunately Giselle seems to have avoided revealing anything about her life prior to becoming an Evolved, but I just sort of think that she'd have been something as adorable as that teddy bear that she is now: I see her as small, a little girl who just wanted to grow up like Rhea was, who suddenly has grown into a supremely adult body that she just wants to play around with. Her breasts are so huge that I just get hard thinking about her; I just think that if she were to surround her breasts around my penis that it would be in pillow paradise!
Whenever I get off at night, I just imagine a fantasy that probably could never happen but just somehow feels like should if I had the chance. It begins with the two of us together as humans; me as a scrawny male and her as this little pigtailed female. (I don't know what Giselle looked like pre-Evolved so I can't really imagine what it would be) We go out together on the beach, looking at the sunset and looking at each other eyes. I then start to reveal myself to her; I leave my clothes on and start to grow so I could show my true self to her. My muscles bulge and rip apart my shirt as I continue to expand, my biceps and triceps and deltoids evolving at a rapid rate; my abs shredding up and my back becoming a massive wingspan. My fur grows in rapidly while my pants shred apart as my quads and calves come into full view. The fur starts growing at a rapid rate as my shorts start bulging with the rapid growth of my protrusion. It falls apart and my penis keeps growing without getting hard, getting longer and thicker as my hairs start to appear around my frame growing and thickening with rapidness. My face shifts into a muzzle and my fingers and toes gain thick black claws all while a huge bushy tail bursts out from the back. Like a werewolf I howl at a crescent moon, this massive beasts overshadowing this tiny human girl with wonder.
She gets excited and she leaps into my arms and we start to kiss. And as we do; she gets turned on and starts to grow herself; her own frame first rising around a two-piece swimsuit she's wearing as her body becomes more muscular by the moment. Her breasts balloon bursting her bikini first and yet keep growing all while her abs thicken and harden as they become covered up and her pectorals and deltoids come in. Her lons become revealed as her bottom shreds apart while her quads grow thick like redwoods with huge bulging calves breaking through. Brown-gray fur rapidly covers her figure and her face shifts in the midst of deep embrace into the beautiful ursine form with wide eyes, all while a tiny bear tail breaks out of her backside and her claws clench right into my body. My wang becomes erect as it feels her growing and changing around me, to the point that it starts sneaking right into that full-grow bosom of that tiny adorable girl.
And then, without warning, Giselle grabs that huge cock of mine and rubs it into that immense bare bear cleavage, caressing it while cooing softly. I can feel her fur against me as she embraces my manhood with her feminine wiles, yet still acting as adorable as ever. She pushes her massive tits together and her nipples become erect, as she shows herself having fun with me in this embrace. I feel elation with her soft pillows caressing my meat, furthered as she starts licking it and placing my head into her ursine muzzle. She moans as I continue to caress her, my huge body still more muscular but with the massive bosom in full control as she dominates over me despite still acting like a little girl. I control myself to not squirt anything out but I get so excited imagining her boobs holding my manhood; her tongue and mouth holding my head...
And that's where it usually ends. I sort of wish my daydreams got to vaginal sex or anything more but that's usually where I just let off and that's pretty much when I calm down and go to bed at night. I guess when you're a virgin your needs remain simple despite what you think you want. I have tried to contact Giselle once by e-mail but she never responded back to me; she's probably busy with her competitions or doing whatever they do in Canada, but I really should stop thinking about her as an imaginary lover and try to find a real one.
But as said, it isn't that easy. Aside from my sexual situation, it's just hard when you're too much a monster for humanity and too much human for the monsters. I'm just this over-developed, over-built Evolved who is trying to make it day by day despite his concerns and problems. Maybe someday I'll figure it out...but then again it isn't like I can just go back to being human. It isn't just the time and effort, it's also just that once you've gone this way, there really is no way to remove it like it was a tatoo. It's a life choice, which is why I made it in the first place...though sometimes I do wonder why I did.