pride munth

prefacing this with pretty much every definition of "queer" that i could find: Queer is an umbrella term for people who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender.

in two previous Whinny pictures (also sorry for inconsistent Whinny designs/colors, ever since i changed my computer screen, colors look a lot more different lollll) i stated I was lesbian, then Ace, or demi or something and it's like...

i just feel like i dont really have a true identity LOL. i think regarding both my gender and my orientation, the best way to describe them is simply "queer" because i don't know exactly what's going on with either but i just know it ain't cis or hetero.

terms like "nonbinary" or "sapphic ace" and stuff still feel way too definitive for me, someone who struggles with feeling like i even exist a lot of the times. assigning labels to my constantly fluctuating existence makes it feel like im not REALLY those things and puts self-imposed invisible expectations on me to behave in the way that i've labeled myself. i don't really know if that makes sense though lol

i've dated boys girls and more and toyed around with pronouns but it's shifting at all times and also largely overshadowed by the fact that i am super mentally ill and can barely handle relationships or perceiving myself SOOO i think i'll just call myself queer from now on so that nobody has to expect anything specific from me anymore (and so that i stop torturing myself with stuff like "but are you REAAAALLY a girl.....")

like i feel like a fraud when i can't even draw consistently. to be like "yeah i am a lesbian" "yeah i am bi" "yeah i am ace" with such confidence makes me feel like im lying if i end up changing. and i know everyone has a right to change their identity whenever they want and who cares what anyone else thinks, but it feels like i'm lying to ME but also that these are all the truth at separate times but also simultaneously but also not at all and HI IM RUNNING OUT OF MEDS

also i don't know if the flag i chose is one of the "canceled" flags or something, i seriously did my best to look up everything about it but there were barely any sources, and whenever i looked up "Queer pride flag" the generic rainbow one kept showing up which is not what i wanted LOL. but i think the colors are pretty and the term "Queer" is the best, most comfortable encapsulation of what i am, and makes me feel the most relaxed. maybe im a coward for that but yeah

unrelated: i'll be honest i think that first reference sheet of Whinny is one of the most accurate and best pieces of art i've ever made so please continue to use that specific Whinny if you make fanart LOL i don't know what i was on when i made it but i love that style and the way it was done its so good

Art (c) @@stimpower