alicorn dysphoria

Twilight Sparkle was unceremoniously turned into an alicorn (and apparently princess) after enduring a day of all of her friends having their cutie marks swapped because of her negligence. It’s quite the reward for bringing the *Elements of Harmony back to their original state after screwing everything up, as well as fixing an ancient spell that seemed to send her to the goddamn shadow realm. 

It was a little exciting at first, and she didn’t want to be ungrateful. Celestia was choosing her, trusting her, hell even promoting her to a higher position in not only her life, but all of Equestria. She didn’t want to disappoint her, even if the coronations are boring, the politics are contrived, and the name “Princess of Friendship” really didn’t feel like it suited her.

But worst of all… is the body. It just… isn’t right. She feels completely different, perhaps due to more magic? It’s certainly gotten much harder to control these first few months, she nearly blasted Spike to smithereens one time trying to hand him an apple. Also her tail is longer, more difficult to navigate with. Her horn is longer, too, and don’t even get her started on the wings. Some expressed jealousy at her newfound ability to fly, but it was such a harrowing task to learn, and took months upon months of seemingly pointless practice only for her to prefer teleporting or walking anyway. To her the wings were dead weight that occasionally acted out on their own when she was surprised or angry. She's broken so many things just from turning around and having her wings and tail knock everything over. So annoying.

She’s getting bigger and taller, too. Every month, she finds herself looking down at her friends just a little more. And she hates it. She hates everything about this, but it's every little filly’s dream, right? To be a princess? Yes, everypony treats her differently now, but that's supposed to be good, right? Why was she so ungrateful? She keeps telling herself she’ll get used to it, but as her colors change, her mane gets longer, even her vision is healing and her cutie mark is changing… These are the first sprouts of immortality, she can tell. And she hates it. This idea, this reminder that she’s going to live on for quite a while. 

There were a few points in her life she wished she was dead, due to failing others or not living up to expectations, but the idea she may–no, WILL–outlive all her friends… that is the most dreadful thing of all. And now she has a kid, too… the fact that she might outlive Silent Spectacle is a horrific thought. How did Celestia do this? How could she possibly live for as long as she has and be okay with it? Twilight doesn’t want to become okay with such a fate. But she doesn’t want to throw away everything Celestia has invested into her, either. That means she’s the only one who can do this. 

Even if it hurts, even if her entire body feels wrong, even if she has to kneel to look in the mirror now only to not recognize who she’s looking at and being disgusted with herself, even if everyone is always looking at her and cooing jealously, even if somehow the best gift that Celestia has granted her feels like the worst thing in the world, this is all just a part of Celestia’s training. It’s just another test, another trial. That’s all it is… 

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tired of proofreeding hope there are no typos :')

wouuww arttt arttt i hate lineart so i DIDNT DO IT!!! ive noted the pain of lineart is the number 1 reason i stop trying to draw so yea here are the results

*(While the Elements of Harmony still exist in the Gamiverse, they are, at best, a powerful magical weapon that allows extreme magic to be wielded the user so long as they have the quality of whatever Element they’re holding, so it isn’t locked into the Mane Six)

Art (c) @stimpower