The Funhouse

StickySteph's avatar
By StickySteph   |   
319 46 48K (7 Today)
Published: November 16, 2013
Boonville. An aptly named town, as it’s about as far in the boonies as one can get. The typical routine is one of sleep, work, sleep, any and all excitement kept to a bare minimum in this town of 2,000 people, who are mostly concerned with keeping the stoic tradition of boredom alive and well in their families.

However, for one week a year everything changes. Bright lights, laughter, and visitors from all over flock to Boonville for a single reason - the Carnival.

Not the most creatively named fest, The Carnival was host to roller coasters, Tilt-A-Whirls, cotton candy, and teenage romance. Although this gathering would be laughable by any visitor of Disneyland or Six Flags, it still provided a massively fun time for its residents, and even visitors from the city, looking to get away from their busy lives and have fun at the small town gathering.

Although the Carnival was essentially the same setup every year, there had been a new addition to the lineup. A curious old building set up behind the midway, it was free of any and all decorations, the cheesy murals that covered all of the rides were absent from this attraction. In fact, the only thing that gave any hint of this building belonging where it was - a small sign done in a sloppy script, proclaiming this place as...

The Funhouse.

Dave, Rick, and Jackie had decided to hit up the Funhouse late at night, after sneaking down a bottle of vodka behind the bingo tent. They had laughed nervously and dared each other to go in separately, but no one had the stones to approach the old creepy building on their own. The alcohol had loosened them up, and they were now ready to see what the old place had in store.

Their tickets proved to be no good here, since no one was outside operating the attraction. Already, a bonus - free admission! They cautiously stepped inside, and Dave was the first to break the silence.

“Hello?” he called out, his voice echoing through the building. “Anyone home?”

The only response was deafening silence, and the trio giggled nervously as they entered the building. Stretching before them was a long hall, making the house look much larger from the inside, with dozens of doors stretching out far in front of them.

“This is really... REALLY creepy...” Jackie whispered. “It’s so awesome!”

Jackie bounded off down the hall, looking over each door as she passed it. The guys, not wanting to be outdone by a girl, followed after her, and through the door that she had just barged through. They headed into the room, and gazed around at the incredible lack of decoration, minus one thing - a big wooden board with a hole in the middle, standing in the center of the room. This board, unlike the rest of the Funhouse, was covered in colors, brightly standing like a beacon in the drab surroundings.

“Whoa... what the,” Rick said, walking up to the wooden creation, looking it over. “What is this thing?”

“Hey,” Jackie said, pointing at the middle of it. “Look! Is that... is that a hand?”

The three explorers gasped as they made out what the box had painted on it, a picture of a person’s body, jigsawed and out of order, like a big, flat Rubiks Cube. The bits and pieces of the body were varied in size, but most were far too small or disjointed that it was impossible to make out what it was supposed to be. The hole in middle of it added to the curious thing, which now had Rick’s full attention. He walked behind the wall, inspecting it closely.

“Geez, this thing is creepy as hell,” Rick said, running his fingers over the opening. “Is this some sort of weird art gallery?”

“Hey, I have an idea... stick your face in it!” Jackie laughed.

“What, why?”

“Why not?” she laughed, “I dare you to stick your face in it! What, are you scared?”

Dave laughed, “Yeah Rick! Are you scared? It’s just a hole!”

Rick glared at the two of them. He had no idea where this weird idea of sticking his face through the board came from, but he’d be damned if his friends thought he was afraid of something. “Fine!” he said. “But this makes me one up on both of you, you sure you want to waste a dare on something stupid like this?”

Dave and Jackie nodded, laughing. Since a dare isn’t something you can just walk out of, Rick stuck his face through the opening as far as it would go.

“Fine, but remember this when I dare you both to...”

The board suddenly sprung to life, dividing itself into big square hinged sections, and quickly collapsed all around Rick, forming a box, sealing him inside. Dave and Jackie froze solid, their laughter at an end, and Rick’s screaming soon filled the room.

“What... WHAT THE HELL?” Rick shouted, struggling in his tight confines. “Help! HELP ME!”

Jackie and Dave ran to the box and started pulling and kicking at it, but found the thing was tightly closed. Not only that, it had attached itself to the floor, and was impossible to move.

“Hurry up!” Rick screamed. “I can’t move!”

Jackie was the first to react, her eyes went wide and her hands flew off the box as if they had been doused in boiling water. Dave was next, and they both backed away from Rick, their faces losing all color.

“What? What is it?!”

“The shapes...” Jackie whispered. “Rick, the shapes...”

“...are moving.” finished Dave. Time froze for Rick as terror washed down his spine and into his stomach.

Rick couldn’t see it, but Dave and Jackie weren’t making it up, and he could tell by their faces this was true. The strange jigsaw of a drawing had started sliding around, the paint moving on its own by an unseen force. Rick started breathing heavier and heavier, the tiny box giving him no room to move at all, his chest pressing against the wood with every breath. Jackie hugged Dave tight as the paint moved faster and faster, as if a ghostly force was solving this bizarre puzzle, and sure enough, an image began to form.

“What’s going on?” Rick said, seeing his friends’ expressions change.

“It’s... it’s an arm!” Dave said, pointing. “The picture is starting to come together!”

The paint started to settle in place, the image becoming clearer and clearer, until Jackie and Dave’s faces twisted in confusion at the realization of what it was.

“Dude...” Dave said. “You’re not going to believe this.”

“WHAT!” Rick was out of patience. With the unseen painting and the inability to move, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“It looks like a...” Jackie’s voice trailed off as the final square of paint snapped itself into place. “It’s...”

Rick screamed. He screamed loud, suddenly, and constantly. Jackie and Dave ran up to the box.

“Oh God!” Rick screamed. “There’s something in here with me! THERE’S SOMETHING IN HERE WITH ME!”

Rick thrashed as what felt like snakes slithered all around him, big snakes that made the already small space even smaller, and far more horrifying. He tried to throw his hands up and protect himself, but the box was far too small to allow for such movement, his hands and arms held to his sides by the walls of the box. The snakes seemed to multiply, and multiply, and multiply... and then squeeze. They started squeezing Rick very tightly, and his body became compacted in the box as their number grew. Nearly out of room, his breast shallow with the pressure of the assailants within his prison, Rick was on the verge of passing out.

Jackie started to cry, and stepped back from the box, Dave hugging her tight. Rick’s eyes stared at them, hollow with fear, until a large, soft, heavy monster bit into the top of his head, it’s lips swallowing his scalp and sealing themselves to his skin, and all bits of sanity were momentarily shattered.


He glared at his friends.

“What is it?” He cried. “What’s on the box?! Tell me what it is! Please!”

“It’s a...” Dave started. “It’s a...”

And with that, the sides of the box collapsed, and a wave of white satin and crinoline burst out from Rick in all directions. Rick stumbled, his feet making solid clicks as he staggered to stay standing, and as he took in a huge breath, his mind couldn’t comprehend what he saw.

Jackie and Dave jaw’s dropped, staring at the biggest, whitest wedding dress they had ever seen, which was now home to a rather upset male occupant, whose hands began grabbing at the heavy creation, shooting around his body, exploring the bizarre situation he was in.

“What... what?! What!” Rick blurted out, struggling to maintain balance on what he would later find out to be a pair of beautiful white heels. “What is this? What did it do to me?!”

The dress was unbelievably huge, and covered in gaudy details, ribbons, bows, strings of pearls, and sparkling crystals. The incredibly overdone crystal detail shot tiny glints of light around the room like a disco ball. The big skirts fluffed out several feet in every direction from his waist, covering a massive bell of rustling crinoline that lapped and licked the floor with every movement. Looking like something that belonged on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Jackie couldn’t help but let out a tiny giggle.

“Jackie! This isn’t FUNNY!” he shouted, struggling to walk as the massive weight of the dress slowed his movement.

“Your hair...” Jackie said, covering her mouth. “Oh man, your hair!”

Rick threw his hands up, which landed on a huge, immaculate updo constructed of soft blonde hair, embedded pearls, and a soft veil sprouting from the back of it, which rested on the huge bulk of his skirts. His eyes widened as his hands dug deep into the feminine nightmare, and pulled and yanked hard. The hair might as well have been his own, the big monstrosity refusing to budge, or even pop itself out of style, or mess itself up in the slightest bit.

Jackie and Dave weren’t sure what to do, their horror dissolving into confusion as they stared at their friend fighting and pulling and screaming at a giant dress. Jackie giggled again, and this time the laughter spread to Dave.

“Shut up!” Rick screamed, shuffling and swishing his way toward them slowly. “Oh Christ, I think I’m wearing heels!”

He stopped and started kicking his feet against each other and the ground, but his hidden new shoes weren’t going anywhere.

“Help me! Shut up, stop laughing, and help me!”

“OK, OK,” Dave snickered. “Calm down, man! You have to admit, this is a pretty cool trick for a funhouse to have! Usually it’s just weird mirrors and bored staff wandering around.”

“Yeah, like, how did they do that?” Jackie said, looking over the dress. “I can’t even begin to figure it out! Also... you look really pretty! Are you sure you want us to let you out? You’ll make every girl at the Carnival jealous!” she began laughing again, which solicited a furious glare from the bridal victim.

“Undo this dress.” Rick growled. “NOW!”.

Jackie pouted as Dave moved behind Rick, pushing the big skirt out of the way as best as he could, sinking into the gown as he started fumbling with the back.

“Hurry up!”

“Dude...” Dave grabbed and pulled all over the back of the dress. “There’s like, nothing here. No zipper, no buttons, nothing.” Rick’s embarrassment began to move toward dread once again.

“Don’t worry,” Dave fished around in his pocket for his knife. “I can cut you out.”

Rick crossed his arms over the sparkly top, which was home to two large padded spheres, the dress was rigged to provide the full illusion of femininity. Dave started sawing away, then slicing, then sawing again, followed by a look of growing bewilderment.

“Hey, this thing won’t cut.” he said, trying to slice a bit away from the big hairdo. “Dude, your hair won’t even cut! Wow, this is fucked up!”

“What do you mean?!” Rick said, grabbing the knife away. He grabbed the front of the bodice and started trying to slice it apart, but the blade wouldn’t do a thing. He tried cutting and slicing the huge skirt, but the fabric stayed strong. Even the giant blonde sculpture on his head withheld the knife’s assault, leaving Rick trembling in fear. Jackie and Dave didn’t share his fear, instead they were again overcome with drunken laughter.

“SHUT UP!” Rick yelled, “This isn’t funny! How the hell do I take this stupid thing off! I look ridiculous!”

“That’s WHY we’re laughing!” Jackie said, running her hands over the big skirts. “Come on, let’s go show everyone how pretty you are!”

Rick slapped Jackie hard across the face. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but this situation had become too much for him.

“Dude, NOT cool,” Dave said, hugging a now bawling Jackie. “Seriously, this is just a prank pulled by whoever runs this place, and now you’re hitting chicks. NOT cool.” And with that, Jackie and Dave left.

“Have fun getting home, bro. Maybe some hick outside will be nice enough to drive you back to the city.”

As they left, Rick quickly tried running after them, the big skirts and crinolines swishing against his legs, his hair bobbing and swaying with every movement. He grabbed as much of the front of the dress as he could, holding it up as he had seen many a Disney princess do.

“I’m sorry! Please, don’t leave me here!” he cried out, mincing his way through the door, fighting and pulling the huge bulk of dress through the narrow opening. He made it out of the room just in time to see his friends exit the front door, and a wash of helplessness made its way over his body.

What WAS he going to do? The giant dress made it impossible to walk anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, and what the hell was it made out of? He looked over the thing, seeing no buttons, no zippers, no seams, just a solid construct of ultimate femininity, sparkling and sending little bits of light all around the hall. His head was hot under the huge updo, a style that only seemed to exist in comics and caricatures.

He looked like he belonged on top of a wedding cake.

After much struggling, swishing, swaying, and fighting to pull the big dress through the front door, Rick took the plunge and left the Funhouse, everyone outside stopping and staring at the guy in the big dress. Immediately, everyone began laughing, cell phones coming out to snap pictures for numerous Facebook accounts, guaranteeing that everyone he knew would eventually see him like this. He pushed past the laughing and sneering crowd, pulling the big gown along with him.

“Look mommy! She’s so pretty!”

Rick looked over, seeing a smiling little girl standing beside a snickering mom.

“I want to be her when I grow up!” Other little girls took notice, and he was suddenly the fantasy of every girl around him. His face burned hot from embarrassment as he made his way past the laughing crowd, and swishing out to the Carnival in search of someone to help him.

After he had left the crowd, a group of guys turned their attention back toward the old building. “Geez, what the hell is that place all about?”

“I dunno, obviously some sort of fag hangout. You saw that freak.”

“You guys scared?”

One of the girls grinned at the guys, and pointed at the Funhouse.

“I *dare* you to check it out!”

A dare not being something you can just back out of, the guys found themselves accompanying their girl friend into the building, the door slamming shut behind them.
© 2013 - 2020 StickySteph
Every year The Carnival finds its way into Boonville, a small town in the middle of nowhere. People from all over make their way for a week of festivities and memories. One attraction, The Funhouse, is guaranteed to give people something they'll never forget. 


This is going to be sort of a dumping ground for short ideas that I have for clothing transformations, since writing longer stories tends to take way too much time, since I'll lose interest halfway through writing them. This series will be something I can contribute something to regularly, without spending too much time on any single story. 

So, in other words, these are short little blurbs. 
anonymous's avatar
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supr75's avatar
Please do more of these!??
velicityphoenix's avatar
velicityphoenixHobbyist General Artist
I have to say, it was interesting, to say the least. I am not sure how old you were in writing it, but you did capture my attention.  I spent, well over 30 minutes, searching for an interesting story to read. Found this in the horror section. Though this was not really scary, it did captivate me to read it all. Kind of funny as well.

Nice Job.
charlee718's avatar
what is going to happen to them and what about rick
sweetladyamy's avatar
sweetladyamyHobbyist Artist

It's A Madhouse!

Or so they claim!

Oh, I had to throw in the Anthrax reference.

Actually, that song, Madhouse fits this story's mood perfectly.

lol That was a fun read. Definitely a fave.
Haegun's avatar
Boonville, NY is kind of like this.
SALT--WATER's avatar
SALT--WATERHobbyist Writer
Not a bad story very scary..you'd think they would shut down this funhouse though with all the stuff going on in it. makes me wonder who or whats behind it.
sallyane's avatar
oh wow what away to go it seems the moral is do not interfear with what you do not know great cap
AB-Lover's avatar
This feels like an episode of The Twilight Zone. Good job.
IwannabeClaire's avatar
Love the story and its attention to detail. Oh, to turned into a beautiful bride in a fabulous gown and updo!
puffin-platthy's avatar
Excellent thanks for sharing it. I look forward to more funhouse
HinaYui's avatar
HinaYuiHobbyist Writer
Those dresses from my big fat gypsy wedding are just so amazing :) Feminine overload to be sure. Something Rick will be no doubt experiencing for a long time to come :) :) :) 
StickySteph's avatar
More dress, more fun!
YRPOtaku169's avatar
YRPOtaku169Student Writer
OK. I get that most of your stories have some sort of karmic element, but this one, as well as the caterpillar one, are really pushing it.
How do you trap someone in a dress that cannot be removed or destroyed?
SALT--WATER's avatar
SALT--WATERHobbyist Writer
Lol. I know this comment is old but I want say this. With the supernatural anything is possible :D (Big Grin) .
But really I see what you mean. I just found out about this guys stories, And though I'm not a fan of the themes ( TG is it?)
I love the sense of Horror he supplies . But looking at them I realize my issue with them is. that some of the scenarios seem a little too forced and 
His characters a little too  Inhuman with out much reason. Like the one with The Caterpillar , Why did it make him Immortal ? or the Toon one, Penny's
Unfair Treatment towards that man was kinda  Unnecessary. And the funhouse ones while creepy, makes you wonder who's behind it.
 And I really don't see what so appealing about this, Aside from the adrenaline rush from the Fear.( but that's just me)
YRPOtaku169's avatar
YRPOtaku169Student Writer
Sorry. I meant "why would you trap them in a dress"?
What did that guy do?
gamezone101's avatar
Is this the TG funhouse or the Sissy funhouse?
Rouskof's avatar
hi StickySteph, first, I really love all your story, with a special point on this one :D (Big Grin)
I'm here to ask you a little question, may I translate your story in french and post it on my deviantart account? :3
Or I translate and you post on your own account, its up to you.
Its just that I have some french friend who can't read english and when I explain the story to them, they want to read it xD
Rouskof's avatar
plz more of the funhouse series :'(
Zizum's avatar
Pretty good story. Kinda remainds me of "A Silly Bride" by HinaYui.

Nice to see that you're becoming more active. You just got a new watcher. ^^
StickySteph's avatar
Glad you enjoyed it :D
GamemasterFel's avatar
Moohahaha... they're boned. 

Well, look on the bright side, Rickie. You could easily make a killing as a drag queen performance artist, a call gurl, a reality tv show star, or even as a guinea pig. If the clothes can be replicated, huzzah, world's greatest and sexiest body armor. Either way, you could make yourself some money while being pretty as a picture. 

anonymous's avatar
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