Jingle Bells on Discworld...

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
The Assassins' guild was looking to kill
So Rincewind ran away
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
Look at the wizzard run
Deaths chasing him on his horse
Oh what dark fun

Running through the lands
Outside of Ankh-Morpork
Screaming like a girl
He is such a dork
With the eighth spell
Trapped in his head
He has no time for Hogswatch
When he's trying to not be dead

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
The Assassins' guild was looking to kill
So Rincewind ran away
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
Look at the wizzard run
Deaths chasing him on his horse
Oh what dark fun

Well Death was closing in
On Rincewind's hiding place
You should have seen the look
On the poor wizzard's face
But on that special night
If things weren't weird on their own
The Hogfather appeared
And told Death to leave him alone...

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
The Assassins' guild was looking to kill
So Rincewind ran away
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
Look at the wizzard run
Deaths chasing him on his horse
Oh what dark fun

So Death went back home
And Rincewind sighed with relief
"Thank you, Hogfather-
you really saved my beef."
The Hogfather smiled
And said "it's okay,
Just be sure to be good
On this Hogsfather day!"

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
The Assassins' guild was looking to kill
So Rincewind ran away
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells
The wizzard is now okay
So have no fear, let's all cheer
On this Hogsfather DAY!!!