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Animated Short Film - The Anatomical Bust


Snapshots in Dystopia No 01
  Josh had heard the term “egghead” but he hadn't imagined one, much less seen one, until he had started working with a particular clerk at the stables. The overall appearance of the man's head was that of a slightly elongated, and top-rounded, egg. This was enhanced by the fact the man had no hair on his scalp, and a scant thinning line around the edges. Moreover, it was an ugly egg. His eyes were deep set, surrounded by dark circles. Half-moon spectacles sat halfway down his hawk nose. His somewhat large ears sprang away from his head slightly, and his thick lips formed a gash of a mouth which seemed to be in a constant, practic
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fvhn's avatar
fvhnHobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey there, you up to anything lately? And do you post your writing on any other sites? 
Steve-C2's avatar
Hello!  I can't say I've written anything lately, though I have more than a couple of ideas swimming around.  A couple of them would require a bit more of a time investment ... *sigh*

I did complete something a while back and I wouldn't mind having someone look at it with an eye for publication because instead of posting on DA I want to go and publish it.  I did share the first few chapters here: Oskar's Automata - Chapters 1 - 3 and Oskar's Automata - Chapter 4.  I hate asking, yet I ask, if you wouldn't mind looking at the latest revision of the whole story?

Otherwise, I don't put my writing elsewhere.  I wouldn't mind putting it where it could get some feedback, and maybe I can improve some work to publication standards.  At the same time I wonder if it would be possible to publish something that I've already shared here (and elsewhere, if it comes to it.)  Any thoughts?

I hope you're well!
fvhn's avatar
fvhnHobbyist Traditional Artist
Sorry for the suuuuper slow reply!

I'd love to check out what you wrote, and I'm happy to give feedback if you want it :3

I've been trying to find places to put my writing that I could get feedback, but the only noteable one seems to be wattpad, and the average quality on there (at least that I find) is ..eck...

As far as I know, if you were to seek publication of something that's posted on DA, they might have you delete it as part of their agreement to publish it, but I don't think it would prevent you from getting anything published. I know a lot of stories I've seen on other writing sites will have the first chapter, and then something along the lines of "I've been published! You can read the rest of the story by purchasing my book here!"
Steve-C2's avatar
That's okay.  I have a few things in my own inbox ... heh ...

If you'd like to look, here you are:

Oskar's Automata IThe shop with its walls displaying clocks, music boxes (with and without dancers), and other gearwork contraptions among its shelves, was quiet. An older man leaned against the frame of an open doorway into another room behind the shop. Customers could if they tried, glimpse into the interior if the door was open when they were present. Usually all that would be visible is a back wall, lined with shelves, except for a window at the top of the room. The wall opposite the tool and equipment laden shelves contained a workbench, behind which currently sat a dark-haired teen. Shelves and trays of small pieces requiring a magnifying lens to see stacked on either side of the middle of the workbench. The teen bent intently over the instrument in his hand. He checked its parts, ensuring everything was in its place and working. Satisfied, he handed it to the wiry man who had been watching him.
The man was older and more experienced, having just slightly more years on him to be the teen’s f

Oskar's Automata II§
Oskar introduced Celeste with the usual bit of fanfare at the theater. He was once again surprised when, after a he extended the invitation for audience members to inspect the model, the model raised an arm and indicated the audience members. They were allowed to feel the soft torso and limbs. They agreed Celeste had a more lifelike feel.
The three “sisters” danced, singly and together. As part of the show, people were called out of the audience to dance with the different models. Anna and Celeste seemed to be especially responsive to the movements of their dance partners.
After the show at the theater, Oskar returned to his house with Anna and Celeste. “You two have some more work tonight.” He set them behind a curtain he had set across the back of the large front room. On the other side was a busy, boisterous tavern atmosphere. “Perfect.”
Oskar stepped around the back and emerged on the side of the curtain. Some patrons saw him and shouted a

I'll let you read ... anything I say may spoil things.  I'm always game for some good feedback.

Honestly, that's what I would do.  "Here's a first chapter preview, if you want the rest, buy the book!"
fvhn's avatar
fvhnHobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank youuuu <3
fvhn's avatar
fvhnHobbyist Traditional Artist
I dont know if its really your type of preffered reading, but I would be honored if you had some time to peek at my new story and give me some feedback :3