If you haven't seen the comic yet, and you'd like to start reading it from the beginning, here's the first page: stephobrien.deviantart.com/art…
Nice work on this drawing!
There is some things you probably might change like Frisk.
His hair is rally big for a kid I say.
also since its a night time (background) the floor should be little bit darker.
Work on the Alphys and that would be great!
the shading is pretty well done unlike most of the other arts which
Make their shading darker then a Black hole.
very nice and intresting drawing to say atleast and its decent enough!
Hope you read this!
Yeah, Frisk's hair did turn out pretty big. The style is a bit cartoony and stylized, so it's not supposed to be completely proportionate, but I think I went a bit overboard with this one.
They're under a very bright full moon, which is why the area is as bright as it is, but maybe the ground could have been a bit darker. I was caught between making it dark enough to be realistic for the time of night, while not making it so dark that it would turn a cheery picture ominous.
I'm a bit unclear on what you mean by "Work on the Alphys and that would be great!" Work on her in what way? What did you notice that needs fixing?
Thank you for the compliments on the shading. When I first started this comic, I'd planned to keep the shading simple, but darned if that didn't completely go out the window within a few pages, haha!
When you say the world depicted is horrible, do you mean it's poorly designed on a storytelling/worldbuilding level, or horrible for the characters to live in?
I really like the idea that you want to show, i think is very cute and funny, perfect for ''the happy calm before the storm'', like you said.
Something i noticed and i liked, it's the expressions of Toriel and Asgore, i don't know why but i really think that it fits very good on them.
Other than that, i notice a problem with the shadows and lights, and that is the constantly AirBrush that you use. It's ok to use the AirBrush for shading and ligthing, but not using just an black color to shadow, and a white color to lights. I recomend you to play with colors, it helps very much. And apart of that style of shading, you should experiment and combine others shading styles. To understand me better, watch those videos: ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK33Bs… ) , ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkEZIj… ). I hope that when you see these videos, you understand better what i'm trying to say.
Other problem i noticed, is the anatomy. The heads and hands are weird, specially the hands (of Frisk and Toriel), the shoulders of Frisk are seen rare also, and i noticed that you marked a lot the sternocleidomastoid (search in google if you don't know what i'm talking about). To fix this, you need to learn and understand the anatomy
When i see the background, i got confused, i don't know where are they, and maybe the background it's very simple, i only see an oven with a spaghetti, and then a desert.
Finally, the lineart is decent, but it would be much better if you did it in some parts (like the folds of clothing, hair, or small details) that the lines look softer and pointy.
Well, that's it, i hope this helps you to get better, good luck, have a nice day ♥.
Thank you very much for the compliments, and for the links to the videos. In most cases, I do use a bit of color in my shading as opposed to just white – especially if the light is colored by something like glass – but in this instance, the choice of black/white shading was deliberate, because the light comes from the moon, so I wanted it to look kind of stark and pale. I was trying to strike a balance between keeping the night realistically dark and the light realistically silvery, while still keeping a happy atmosphere in the picture.
I agree that the hands and shoulders ended up looking a bit weird; shoulders are a bit of a weak point of mine, and my hand-drawing skills are a work in progress. I’m sure it will come with time, observation and practice. In response to your comment, I took a look at my neck in the mirror, and you’re right – it was a mistake to try to use the way the sternocleidomastoid looks from the front and draw it an at angle, since the lines in the neck change considerably when the neck moves like that.
The characters are standing on a ledge on Mt. Ebbott, just below the exit where you come out at the end of the Pacifist Route.
You make a good point about making the ends of the lines pointy. I did that in a few places, but I could have been more consistent about it.
Thanks again for the compliments and helpful feedback.
I know nothing about Undertale, but just for the record I'm saying this is beautiful.
This is just me giving out suggestions, I'm trying not to be harsh because, like I said, it's amazing.
(Ehem... the little girl... I believe she's called Frisk??? I'm not really sure, I'm just going to call her that.) Frisk has nice shading and clear facial expression. I feel like her hair is a bit too big in proportion to her head??? Or I don't know if she's like that in Undertale, sorry :/ And also, that maybe you could've outlined the pink line on her blue shirt.
(The skeleton-like guy next to Frisk??? That's Sans, I think?) Shading as well, fantastic, especially for his face. The coat's nice as well, though I feel like his head seems a bit too big and he has no neck? Still, I'm probably getting all this wrong since I don't know Undertale and I'm just guessing Sans is like that, but I dunno, sorry :/
(Emm... Da one next to Sans that's not Frisk? da... what's that? moose-cow thingy, sorry, I really don't know anything , I think she's Toriel??? I'm guessing now ) good shading and drawing! Maybe only you could outline the design on her dress.
(plz plz plz say it's Papyrus, I think this one is actually correct, just in case, the other tall skeleton thingy) nice shading as well! I feel like his chest is too big and the rest of the torso too small, or I don't know if he's like that? And also, little mistake! on his right hand, the thumb should be on the other side :/ sorry had to say that.
The oven is really realistic, I have to say. But who cares bout the oven! Just kidding, still it's amazing, it looks so real!!!!!!!!!
(ok now I really don't know. The yellow dinosaur guy that's like a scientist???) awesome shading as well, though it looks better on his shirt than his face. (also, quick question! How can he put on glasses if he has no ears!?)
The rest are amazing, awesome shading and excellent drawing! It looks like it just popped out of a super cool movie
The grass is fantastic, though the structure in the mountain looks a bit weird, maybe you could put an outline on the mountain and the structure as well.
Thank you very much for the detailed feedback! I appreciate the amount of thought and time you clearly put into it.
Frisk has no canon gender (*Voice of the Big Bad Wolf* all the better for players to attach their personal headcanons to them, my dear), so I tried to make them look gender-neutral, but I guess they did turn out looking a bit girly in some panels.
Keeping their hair proportionate to their head has been a challenge for me. It isn’t meant to be quite realistic, as the art style for this series is a bit anime-ish and stylized, but it is definitely bigger than realism would allow. Though, I actually made their head more proportionate to their body than it is in canon; their canonical sprite makes it look like their ancestry involved at least one LEGO person.
I haven’t generally been outlining clothing patterns like stripes or Toriel’s pattern, but I might try it sometime to see if it looks better that way. Thanks for the suggestion.
Yes, the skeleton next to them is Sans. Thank you very much for the compliments on his shading. In his case, I have been trying to keep his proportions more true to his canonical sprite, and as a result, yes, his head is HUGE. Most people draw him with more human-like proportions, but the head on his in-game sprite is as tall as his whole torso plus half of his pants. And his arms are very short, which makes some panels a challenge to draw. In one panel, he put a hand on someone’s shoulder, and I probably made the arm a bit too long for canonical accuracy just to keep it from becoming an accidental kiss, haha! Also, his game sprite’s shoulders are higher up than the lowest part of his mouth. His collarbone must be at such a weird angle (which I guess I didn't really capture in this picture, oops!). His anatomy as a whole is just strange.
You can see a picture of him with a hand raised here, to get an idea of how his body is proportioned: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/o… As you can see, he DOES have a neck (or is that one of the vertebrae in his back?); it's just easily obscured by the fact that his shoulders - and, by extension, his clothes - are so high up. Though, I didn't think his spine would be visible from the angle in this picture, since it comes down from the back of his head.
Yes, the one with the pattern on her dress is Toriel. Unfortunately, she would not be happy about being called a cow; on one occasion, she went out dressed in a muumuu, and people kept trying to complement her by saying "Nice muumuu". She thought they were calling her a cow, and she never wore the muumuu again.
Yes, the tall Skeleton is Papyrus. And you’re right, I did get the thumb wrong – nice catch! I should fix that. The chest is canonically pretty big compared to the rest of his torso, and the fact that he’s bending over makes the lower part of his spine look smaller, so I’m not too worried about that, but thanks for pointing it out in case it had been wrong.
EDIT: I fixed the thumb, but the outlines didn't really improve the mountain or stone, so I think I'll leave those as-is. Thanks for the suggestions, though.
Thanks for the compliments about Papyrus’ shading and the oven. I am happy with how that oven turned out.
The yellow lizard is a female scientist named Alphys. Shading her face was a challenge, since the moonlight was hitting it more or less evenly, which made it hard to add any shadows without throwing off the shape. As for how her glasses stay on, I guess they’re basically sitting on the bridge of her nose? Monster magic? I don’t know. This is one of those mysteries that Undertale never fully explained. Maybe they’re narrow enough that the temples hug her face hard enough not to slide down.
The mountain and structure… now those, I struggled with. The filters I used to make them realistic clashed a bit with the more anime-ish style, but I’m not sure outlines would fix that – at least, not on the stone areas. Maybe on the mountain as a whole, though. Thanks for the suggestion.
Popped out of a super cool movie… man, I wish! Someday, I would love to see Just Cause turned into one of those comic dub movies I’ve seen on YouTube, though given that I’m only 14 pages in, that’s a long way away, haha. Or maybe even animations based on it… *dreamy eyes*
That image seems to imply that there is, in fact, grass or some other greenery on at least one side of the mountain, though from that distance it could have been tree foliage instead and it would be impossible to tell the difference. Though, this image looks grassy to me as well. 68.media.tumblr.com/0989ff8ed5…
So, there are my excuses for making the slope grassy. ^_^