When I was young, people would often ask, "Are you going to be an artist when you grow up?"
My answer would always be the same. "No." I didn't know what it was at the time. Maybe I didn't like the idea of doing art under someone, or mixing work with pleasure. In any case, I did not like the idea of being an artist for a living. The reason for this has only occurred to me many years later.
As someone who enjoys thorough planning, there is an area of my life which I've left almost entirely up to spontaneity. That area is anything involving art. The way a pianist would improvise on a theme is very much the way I'd go about drawing, or doodling I should say. It'd be mindless. A way of fidgeting. I could substitute it for mindlessly tapping on a desk. My doodles just happened to be more complex than stars or stickmen, which lead many to assume I was headed the direction of becoming an artist. I didn't wanna be an artist because I didn't know how to make a planned drawing.
What am I getting at? Well, I am now in the odd predicament of wanting to actually use my supposed art talents I've been told to possess all these years. The problem? I can't draw a planned out picture for the life of me. My doodles look better than my drawings . Learning how to draw isn't hard. When I practice, I improve satisfyingly fast, but it's the whole planning aspect that eludes me.
Anyway, I know I'll get over this interesting hurdle. Just saying where I'm at.
Until next time ~
Listening to: Cave Story music