Of course, I've got a lot of excuses and some actually legitimate reasons. And actually, to be fair, I was around towards New Year's but I felt like doing a New Year's post seemed like a bit of a cliche..as well as a thing I've already done, to be entirely honest. So I haven't honestly been on dA or doing much in the way of writing or work lately, really.
The main reason is that I've been really, really, really caught up in school, especially the musical I'm stage managing. But also school in general. And life too. The other main reason being I've been practicing driving in order to pass my drive test, meaning I spent a whole lot of time since winter break ended driving my mom places whenever I wasn't in class or otherwise engaged in schoolwork, which gave me very little spare time to actually do any kind of writing or art, or spend any time really browsing this site. (Oh, speaking thusly, I did pass my test last week and do now have a license.)
And what all this means is that I'm mostly just frustrated at my lack of involvement in art of any kind. But have no fear, children, for I have lots of words left to write, and maybe even some adventures coming worth documenting. In any case, I just thought I'd give a general update and perhaps post something here for everyone so no one thinks I died in the interim between November and present.
Anyways, I really ought to get some sleep and all, so good night everyone.
- Listening to: my Happy playlist
- Reading: not much
- Watching: nope
- Playing: eh
- Eating: not really
- Drinking: Water
Happy November 11th! And also, happy Veteran's Day!
So October was about the usual mix of busy and annoying. But I did get to start practicing driving a bit, and in the last week I've been driving a lot more so you know, we'll see how that goes.
Also, I had a couple of interviews this weekend with Target to see about working there and I'm honestly kind of hoping I don't get hired because I am mildly terrified of working in retail. But I had to apply somewhere and so I applied at the first place I could think of locally that has an online application. Go figure.
Also, yesterday, I got my hair cut, and re coloured, so I now I have short, red hair. And I'm really happy with it.
Seeing as it's November, I have a lot of friends whose birthdays are happening soon. And of course cold weather has sort of started to show up more. Thank goodness.
I've also been writing a little bit here and there so we'll see what comes of it.
I'll continue to update as things transpire.. And have a nice evening.
(Also I've been frustrated and upset all day and I'm really unclear as to why, so...)
- Listening to: Little Bird by Ed Sheeran
- Reading: Good Omens
- Watching: Slam poetry
- Eating: leftover Brownie batter
- Drinking: Waterrrrrrrrrrr
It's my favorite because there has always been a guarantee I can play dress-up and get free candy. Therefore it has always been, and will always be, my favorite.
In other news, 18 doesn't feel different when I'm not thinking about it, but then someone asks my age and I go through a crisis of identity because I don't think I should be allowed to be an adult. At all.
So this is all a convoluted, roundabout way of saying, well...I have been writing lately. But I haven't been posting much lately, for various reasons. So yeah, I hope that I will be able to at least attempt to post more writings and things on this profile, because there is a part of my brain that keeps writing.
And then there's the part that keeps me from writing, so all my good ideas are floating away into the ether, probably to never return. So yeah, while I wanna write more and post more and generally just have people pay more attention to me because I'm lonely and that's how I write best, I have a huge roadblock. Which is that my brain just doesn't wanna cooperate.
So we'll see how this goes.
(PS I may be coerced into applying for work soon, so I may in fact get a job soon, which is intimidating and I don't know how so I literally need someone to help me through it the first time I do it, but if I do get a job, it means I will be less active here than I am now. Sorry for the run-on sentences, they just feel easier to write.)
- Listening to: Nirvana
- Reading: Indulgence In Death
- Watching: Supernatural
- Drinking: Homemade Pumpkin-y Coffee wtf
So anyways, hello darlings.
It's been a month or 2. I dunno, that sounds about right.
Anyways, I'm doing well. I'm in college though. Put it down as mildly nerve-wracking and leave it at that. College is not really...well it's not fantastic, off the walls amazing, but it's not terrible. I haven't made as many friends, nor are those friends as close as my many friends from high school. But they are friends nonetheless, which is important.
My social anxiety is much higher of late, which is probably due to the new environment and lack of comfort in said environment.
Oh, I'm taking an intro to tech theatre course, and enjoying it so far, pretty much. And have already had classes cancelled due to illness, which confuses me a bit.
Oh yeah, in a week it's my birthday. I'm not really the type to ask for stuff, but if you guys wanna send me odd dA gifts, I'd say feel free.
I'm not looking forward to it, in actuality. It's really scary and weird to me. Because I'll be 18. And while that isn't a big deal and I live with the notion that your age is simply all the previous ages under the layer which is your current one. And tonight I'm 12 and can't sleep because I'm nervous about my birthday but mostly because I'm much too busy writing to sleep.
- Listening to: Fall Out Boy
- Reading: Fantasy In Death
- Watching: Nikita
- Drinking: Tea. So much tea.
So, officially, I'm back. I would have been much more "back" a month ago, after I'd graduated and gotten through that last little bit of stuff, grad parties and whatnot. But after I got the vast majority of my shit together (graduating, registering for classes, getting my new school ID, sorting out financials, dealing with affection, and getting through it all) I was offered a new computer as a graduation present. So, I said, yes of course I'd like one considering my old one is falling apart and I'm headed into college and all. So naturally, we ordered it and I got to custom build it and then we had to wait for it to be built and shipped. Moral of the story: I waited a month for my computer because I'm dumb and I wanted really badly to have it before starting to really use this site again. Second moral of the story: I'm kind of silly and would have been back last week or even the past few days but I was on a mission trip last week when my computer showed up, and this week I've been recovering from the mission trip and Rocky Horror.
Anyways, this leads me to the update of: I graduated and walked and it was awesome and...now I have a diploma...? So essentially I don't know what to do with that information, which I think is 90% of why I'm going to college - because I still haven't processed the whole "going to be an adult with adult responsibilities and stuff" completely. The other 10% is the standard obligation felt based upon the society I happen to live in + the career I hope to pursue. But you know, it's mostly not knowing what else to do.
Uhm, and seeing as I've been gone doing things for a month, I guess I should say - I still don't have a job, I'm now registered for classes in theater and stuff, and also I spent the last week on a mission trip with a bunch of really attractive counselors and so overall I'm still on a bit of a bent about how attractive our counselors were this year for the mission trip(SSP). I'm also on a bit of a different bent on how attracted I kind of am to a boy I dated at one point in sophomore year for approximately 2 months. It's weird, I know. I'm still working on that one.
And how better to work this shit out than to listen to music loudly and write furiously, or go out with my friends and light off fireworks by an airport?
Either way, it's fun and gets me figuring things out on my own terms which is still significantly better than ignoring things entirely and having them come back when I least want them to be..
And for my final trick I'll mention that if religion and the like starts to pop up in poetry time and again, I'm working out my own spiritual journey and beliefs, so leave me to it. I promise not to bash anything too hard, and to be respectful as possible of any and all beliefs, as much as possible. Until they become toxic. Then I'll stop being respectful.
So yeah that's it babes. I feel like I'm talking to thin air, but I'll do it anyway because for some reason it always makes me feel better.
- Listening to: The Wonder Years
- Reading: 21 by Ben Mezrich
- Watching: Orange is the New Black
- Drinking: Mtn Dea
So for the next 2 weeks, I'll probably write lots and post absolutely nothing and feel desperately bad about it later but I just don't know how else to cope with things right now. I'm feeling the crazy seeping into me and I can barely handle it.
...was so perfect. We adventured to all kinds of exotic lands and was so wonderful it's hard to believe that a place I've lived my whole life is actually that pretty and fun.
So today’s adventures were of the best kind, and I had a great day, so naturally I’m gonna blog all about it. So, me, Maddie (not the drama one), Megan, and Chris were all at school right after class got out and found each other and Megan and I were already planning adventures but we added Maddie and Chris to our plans because Chris has a car and Maddie is actually immensely fun to hang out with so…
Basically we just drove over to this area of our town called Springtown and drove to Taco Bell and had lunch and then we drove over to the DW attached to a convenience store and bought rations such as tea and Hostess snacks and candy. And we decided to go to a park I had gotten a recommendation for. And the plan sort of was alright until it fell apart, but then we had so much fun nobody even noticed. So we basically hopped 2 fences to find ourselves by the creek behind the park. And from there…we wandered through the fields to this huge one and there were barbed wire fences and I won’t go into detail but there were a couple of really cool looking trees in the distance we wanted to see so we sort of did, and then we walked around in this field talking about dead bodies and past adventures with other people, including adventures while high, until we found a spot of barbed wire fencing that let us into normal paves roads and we hopped it to find ourselves in a pretty suburban looking neighborhood and we took the first left turn and we wandered through this neighborhood while walking in the middle of the street until we came to a more busy street and we eventually found our way back to Chris’ car. That was phase 1 of our adventure.
After organizing our stuff and testing whether or not I fit comfortably in Chris’ trunk (I do) we left and drove over to an elementary school before voting to go over to Megan and Maddie’s side of town instead since they all live in that direction and we had a car at our disposal. However, in the middle of a conversation, Chris got sidetracked and mentioned something about this really cool spot up in the hills around our valley. And naturally, we all said yes and he drove us up there which was pretty great. I’m pretty sure we spent a good 2 hours up there, just like I’m entirely sure we could’ve spent all afternoon up there no problem. It’s just high enough you can see smog over our valley, and you can see the entire fucking valley. It must look hella cool at night with all the city lights visible and this slight haze over the valley. Anyways. We stayed up there drinking tea, eating snacks and talking about how people must go up there to drink and smoke and have sex, because there was so much trash and glass bottles and shit all around that it made sense. If you looked down the hill we were on, about 30 feet down, there was a couch. I wanted to explore it, but that was private property and the cops patrol that area pretty regularly so…But we did talk and end up sitting on Chris’ car for a while looking at the valley and talking about school and stuff we need to do together. We found the motivation to leave by breaking a glass bottle on the road like the losers we all admitted we are and then leaving real quick after that.
Phase 3 was coasting down the hill since that’s also apparently illegal, while talking about illegal stuff. We then headed over to Megan’s neighborhood. Chris dropped us off and then he had to leave. So the three of us checked in at Megan’s and then we hung out for a few minutes, listened to Panic! and then we ran off to the park across the way from her house and we found a tree to climb. It was excellent, there were tons of pictures, and we talked about doing the same thing next week, since we’ll have the time. More adventures. Maybe we actually will. Anyways, we went back to Megan’s house around 5 so Maddie could get ready to be picked up. And while we were waiting for Maddie then me to leave we talked about crushes and the internet and Tumblr since we all spend a gross amount of time on it and it was mighty excellent, even if we couldn’t do much else after Chris left and all.
Honestly, this has been basically the best day I’ve had in a while and it was so great to relax and hang out with awesome people and just have a generally lovely and carefree day of exploring things. You never realize how awesomely beautiful the place you live is until you’re exploring it with other people. And it’s always cool to discover a new place you never knew about. God it was great and we need to do this again very soon.
The only reason I am posting this here is because it was basically the best day and I need to have as many people aware of it as humanly possible because it was so fucking perfect. Anyways, I'm not gonna write anymore about this, except to say that me and hris are gonna do this a lot more often methinks.
- Listening to: My Chemical Romance
- Reading: The Princess Bride
- Watching: Supernatural
- Playing: Nothing worth mentioning
- Eating: Homemade pizza
- Drinking: Tea. Always tea. Woot!
- Listening to: My Chemical Romance
- Reading: Unholyverse repeatedly
- Watching: MCR Music videos + RHPS
- Playing: Tetris
- Eating: Halloween candy <3
- Drinking: Tea
And I've been wondering if I ought to erase my account, replace it perhaps.
I've decided not to, but I was wondering if there might be some sort of trick for remembering things like, I dunno, putting my work online? Because I do have work, lovely work, beautiful work, work I'm desperately proud of and I want people on these lovely interwebs to be able to feat their eyes on my work, enjoy the power of my newfound words.
So I dunno.
I'll figure something out, but this is a cry to everyone out there to please, for the love of all things Unholy, please tell me some memory things I can do so I will actually be able to post my work online.
- Listening to: My Chemical Romance
- Reading: Unholyverse..Constantly.
- Watching: Erm..YouTube + Labyrinth
- Playing: nothing of note
- Eating: Ice Cream + Caramel
- Drinking: Ginger ale
- Listening to: Romance on a Rocketship <3
- Reading: "Crazy" by Han Nolan
- Watching: Touch
- Playing: Tetris
- Eating: Mini Eclairs
- Drinking: Green Tea
Oh, by the way. I really recommend the book "Broken Soup" by Jenny Valentine. <3
- Listening to: Fear of Flying
- Reading: Funny How Things Change by Melissa Wyatt
- Watching: White Collar
- Playing: Legend of Zelda
- Eating: Donuts
- Drinking: Chai Tea
But yeah. I've been missing this site so much, and so I have decided to return. I think I will post my poems probably one or two a week, because I'm not a super duper fast writer. But be assured that I am actually back for real.
That is, if you actually enjoy my company...
I shall go listen to more music and type up my English paper, then I'll post a poem for anyone who's interested...
- Listening to: Margaritaville
- Reading: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
- Watching: Justified Ssn. 1
- Playing: .................................
- Eating: PIZZA!
- Drinking: Water...
- Listening to: Nickelback, This Afternoon
- Reading: Nothing in particular...
- Watching: White Collar Ssn 1, DVD disc 3
- Playing: Nothing...
- Eating: PIZZA!
- Drinking: Icky Herbal Tea...(xcept not icky, just sweet)
But yes, this still signals a new beginning to me. I know how some people think of spring as new beginnings, or think of fall as simply the beginning of another (generally boring) school year. I don't, though this may just be because I was born in the fall, but I think of fall as an entirely new beginning, the best time ever to start over. Plus I like that the season I was born in is the only season where it's acceptable to call it eitheer one of two names. (fall, or autumn.) I may just be weird in that way, but I wouldn't trade my birthday for a summer birthday, ever. Even if it would mean I got more B-Day parties as a child...
I love myslfe just the way I am, and I love my birthday.
But maybe I should've been born about ten days earlier...
If you are looking at my profile, I wrn you that it's probably better than my art. But I'd still like people to look at my lovely(?) art. Really, because I'm mostly writing poetry, I figure it's not that good and I might as well just continue writing with the hopes that I get better.
I'm pretty good with critique, so if there's any advice, I will be thankful, since Professional, I am not. So if you do have any thoughts, please just comment on the piece of work in question. It can be good, it can be bad. i don't care as long as I can tell that somebody's there and reading it.
Okay. I guess my overall message is just that I would like to see some people commenting, since I like them to do so. It means somebody is looking at my work.
Anyway...Good night, since, here, it is 11 pm, and tomorrow I still have school.
Just please Comment! I'll be your bestest friend!
- Listening to: Nickelback, This Afternoon
- Reading: Endless Fan Fiction
- Watching: Night Ranger on YouTube
- Playing: Wish I were playing Sims 3...but not enuf time to
- Eating: PIZZA!
- Drinking: Whatever I can get my hands on...
- Listening to: Night Ranger (wierd? who? me?)
- Reading: Too much
- Watching: Too little
- Playing: What is this playing of which you speak?
- Eating: Huh? Eat? I forgot to...
- Drinking: Chai tea, coffee, HOT Chocolate
I have just joined DeviantArt, and I am quite proud of myself. After my bestie harassing me to get an account for two years, I have finally joined.
Well, I guess you and I will just find out together, eh?