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"Be who you are
and say what you feel
because those who mind
don't matter
and those who matter
don't mind."
Somehow those words
though meant to comfort
could never quite meet that purpose.
I always figured I was too sensitive.
Categorized it as my own fault
that people could hurt my feelings,
because
"no one can make you feel
inferior
without your consent."
I never could have imagined the reason
that words hurt me so much
was chemical, 
in the makeup of my brain
and had nothing to do
with the quality of my character.
Even today
I find myself
convinced that first and foremost
these things are my own fault
because of the large quantity of words
implying that's the case.
My heart hurts for the time
when I could just blindly believe these things
but now to believe them
is to accept blame for being made to feel terrible
on a regular basis
for my numerous inadequacies.
And although a part of me is more than ready
more than willing
to accept my blame
the majority thinks
it is not me to blame.
Even when I know it is.
The things that have always left me mildly uncomfortable.
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Submitted on
October 16, 2014
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