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[EDIT: 9/11/23] o_o modern feminism's a goddamn joke, and not the funny kind. feminists these days are more like misandrists, just a bunch of man haters who whine about everything without seeing reason, they just want to hear themselves speak out their asses. ._. they're a bunch of filthy non-humans, absolutely nothing like the real feminists from days of old, who legitimately got shit done without throwing hissy fits over the most minor shit ... 
so i decided to grossly lampoon those man haters for shits and giggles. i apologize for nothing 
so i decided to grossly lampoon those man haters for shits and giggles. i apologize for nothing o.o and part 3. the latter half of what was intended to just be a 2nd extra with extras in it. o3o extra
o_o anyhow, o3o;; as you can see, i can't make a Charizard facing front. this is why i never drew Lexas facing front, it just looks awkward. i even used the Charizard icon in Shuffle as a base and it's still awkward ...
A Charizard
right after Soun had rocketed out of the islands ...
._.;; where's he off to in a hurry?
...
*tinkering with an odd box* o_o aw what? he left before i could show him what i built ... o.o but considering the memory he saw ... o.o was Kotonoha's story really that depressing?
it's something else. we'll tell you later. but for now, how will we get back? *tinkering* well, i got one way, but you won't like it ... ._.;; oh, that way -_- eeyup well what is it? show me the way
*pops up behind Selene* but do you know the way? o.O;; holy shit, it's a shiny! oh yeah, that. i have a small shiny collection courtesy of some visitors of my juice lounge. they either barter with me or just plain leave them behind. this little guy is Dab. he was left behind by an angry drunkard. -_- last time i make hard lemonade ... you're built like a queen. be my queen, my brother -w- he has good tast-o_o;; brother? ._. dafuq? Dab's a bit of an oddball. got a weird dialect and everything. <_<;; that guy had a weird ass team ...pointless flashback ...
HEEEEEEEYEEEEEEAAHHHHYEEEEEAHHYEEEEEEEAAAAHHH~
*dancing* schwabbel-dabbel glibber glabber schwibbel schwap glab, dibbel dubbel schwibbel schwabbel glibber glap schwap
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET! ._.;; ... did i overdose again?back ...
but Dab isn't the worst shiny i have. oh, far from it that would be Trigger ... and she's your ride back ... ride? oh hell no *heads off* *tosses a pokeball in the air*
*appears* o.o;; whoa. what happened to these islands, bro? 
oop. wrong ball. o.o but yeah, this great fucking superpowered kid built these islands in less than 30 seconds ._.;; uhh ... -_- don't question it, just take some beans and head to the new hot springs o_o im gonna get so baked *heads off* ... you have an interesting collection, Mohn i had him for a while. Rosado really knows how to chill =3= who the hell is Trigger!? 
calm yo gigantic titties, im getting to her! *tosses another ball in the air*
*appears* O3O cool! -w- well im glad SOME people think so! -3- and finally, a woman of color. im so tired of being sent to these cis white scum .__. oh ... -_- yeeeeah ...._. oh boy, one of THESE characters ...
Trigger was my primary source of income for a while. do you know how many people would pay for a shiny Charizard? i initially just used Craigslist to get rid of her, but she kept coming back and i kept starting the cycle anew. how do you think i have the materials to make and operate a juice lounge? o_o and yet you couldn't get enough to perfect the rest of these islands ... ._. i could've charged a million, but for her? come on ... that'd just be cruel ... o.o and i already got all my tools, as well as my islands finally being fully constructed thanks to Soun being so awesome, so you can have her free of charge =3= well im glad i'll finally be with someone with some sense! finally, an intelligent woman of color! ._. you can't be serious -3- of course i am, she's not white or straight cis male scum ._. and that makes someone bad? of course! ._.;; how? =3= because it does! -_- ugh, are the rest of her team like you? o_o dafuq's a cis? *sends them out*
._. well, this is new
NACHSTES WOCHENENDE! (next weekend)
you've found quite the rare encounter, have you not? ugh, more men! and probably all cis too! you overprivileged scum are all oppressing this beautiful smart woman! down with the patriarchy! o3o hehe ... she thinks im smart~ ._. ok, let me stop you right there before the idiot artists kills himself for actually typing this dreck
*coughing blood* I KNOW IT'S A PARODY, BUT EVERY WORD HURTS! first of all, Selene is not smart at all o.O hey! and that has nothing to do with her race or her gender or her sexuality. she, as a person, is just incredibly stupid and insensitive with the worst morals and decorum 
hey ... o_o what the fuck is decorum? it's a fancier way of saying manners. <_< geez, you know "esoteric" but not that? -_-;; she's also a cock hungry shotacon, if that means anything o_o dafuq's a shotacon? second, while we fully identify as our given genders at birth, o_o that's cis by the way o.o ohhh none of us guys are actually straight i pretty much am o.O what!? im not straight at all, im gay as fuck. T-Bone over here is my bisexual lover 
damn right! Atlas is an asexual ._. my word, is this woman "for real" as you say? she seems like the kind of ignoramus who thinks sexism can't happen to men well, duh! it can't! and who are you calling an anus!? 
*sighs* hit the nail on the head there, Atlas. and Felix is ... SCHAMHAAR! (pubic hair) he's Felix 
dafuq!? and third, overprivileged? does it look like we're jet-skiing in a pool in another pool on a yacht while drinking some fancy ass wine that's in some more fancy ass wine? and don't think you're underprivileged, you're one of the most coveted shinies in existence told ya ._.;; speaking of money, what happened to that 5 mil i fished up that you took from me? -3- it was a bet, i took it fairly. and it's saved, unlike you who frivolously blew off over 300k on sex toys and skimpy outfits 
but i needed them! 
whut ... and lastly ... ._.;; do you even listen to the words you say? or even think about what you say? i bet you'll just ignore everything and still be your ignorant self in the end who are you calling ignorant?! you're the ignorant cis scum here! -_- and that's all i need to hear *acts as if he's cracking his knuckles* im gonna enjoy this ... =3= you can't hit me, im a woman! *glowing blue* ._. honey, does it look like i give a fuck? o.O;; eep!one very satisfying beatdown later ...
asdfghjkl ...
there we go. and for the record, i never disrespected you by doing that. i know you're not weak, that's why i took you seriously like anyone else, gender doesn't mean anything in a fight. <_<;; i mean, look at Selene here. she's not weak at all O_O ... she can lift a barbell that's twice her weight with 1 arm O_O Xander, quit kissing my fine, fine ass and look at yourself ._. eh? *looks at his reflection on the water* o3o huh *does a hair flip because he can* well, it's about time. hey T-Bone, wanna take this new body for a test run? DAMN RIGHT I DO! we'll be about a few hours, that should be enough time for everyone to get ready o_o ... Soun's made some interesting friends, hasn't he? o_o yes ... yes he has so what did you build for him? a device that links his PC to here so whatever he has there could relax here if they want. i got his ID from his jacket that he left behind. and now ... *turns it on*
*pops out* asdfghjkl~ o___o ok, that can't be it. and is that Ledian an amputee!? Soun has some incredibly bad luc-
*pops out* BAAAAAEEE!! o.O what the fuck!?Amphisbaena again
and that continues to here ... let's watch
hey, you're the Royal Avenue Beast ... and Soun caught you? huh ... well what do you know ... o3o bae? yeah, i know him. he's one of my most frequent customers. he's a great kid ^3^ bae *tail wags* -w- and his cock's 13 inches o_o;; seriously? o.o wait a minute, how did you get in the box? yesterday, i saw you horribly bisect that giant Lurantis and eat her burning flesh. you couldn't have been boxed in that short amount of time .___. where does Soun find these people and pokes!? you stop asking after a while
<_<;; but dear Arceus, the crazy shit just happens way too often o.o Roto-Dex? weren't you with Soun? -3- i don't even get used half the time. hell, im pretty sure the readers forgot i even existed. hell, even the idiot artist did til now INSERT RANDOM COMMENT IN ALL CAPS so i snuck out of Soun's, admittedly comfy, jacket pocket and decided to dick around here. <_<;; he won't notice, no one will o_o huh, so they actually made one of you guys a dex. o.o well what do ya know ... ... so how did you get in there? *points*
*pops out* ._.;; what the ... this isn't my kingdom ... huh ... i know her. that's Jewel. she's the queen of a group of Passimians ... who are basically her unwilling sex slaves o___o;; wut and i get what happened here. you ate her entire tribe, didn't you? and then she got caught by a ball that fell from Soun's pocket, you touched it, and you both teleported? 
bae I'LL KILL YOU! 
*tattoos glow, burst with flame, and some sharp blood red teeth are revealed* BAAAAAEEE!! 
*pisses herself* ... *faints* *goes back to normal* bae 
what the fuck ... 
i will never get used to you, Amphy ... is bae all it can really say? ._.;; yeah. Amphy, o.o short for Amphisbaena by the way, ._. is a lot like Soun. they're experiments from the same evil lab ... so they're super close, as you can imagine ._. what the shit? interesting that you remember that >///>;; w-well i have a really, really good memory, so ... o_o;; so he's an experiment ... that explains those powers ... o.o and that explains why Amphy is ... Amphy ... ._. huh ... Amphisbaena ... where have i seen that name before ... o_o ... hey, you built that cool PC thing, were you a scientist or something? can't say i remember. when i came here all those years ago, i lost my memory of who i was in the past. <_<;; Barry could just give it to me, but he won't do it it'd just complicate things and i don't like seeing the memories of others unless im really intrigued. besides, you're happy as you are now well you're not wrong. Pokebeans taste so fucking good. 
and thanks to Soun, my islands are the way they are now and i got a radio again. i can listen to 70.7 The Key again o___o you weren't kidding about Nujabes's Peaceland with Rainbow Beans ... holy fuck, that was a ride ... glad you could appreciate that. <_<;; if only you appreciated other things ... o_o eh? but enough about how much ass you suck, Selene. Amphy, think you can take this to Soun? *takes out a cube* o.o bae? -3- hey ... that's what you were tinkering with earlier, right? yeah. turns out i had a lot of storage cubes from CubeTech. <_<;; i keep finding new shit in my unsorted pile of junk. guess i was affiliated with the box themed company at one point. >_>;; but these things are mostly busted up ... however, they're not busted enough to make new things out of *presses the button on the cube and a phone pops up* except that one. but it can only store as much as an average backpack. o3o i made him a phone, by the way. the parts he Natural Pop'd me are amazing. i made it so that thing works anywhere, anytime. he doesn't have to pay any Arceus damn bills for it either o.o im gonna test it out *takes it and looks at it* ... *tinkers with it for a bit* (thinks: aaaand number memorized. hehehe ...) ... *calls someone*somewhere ...
*picks up* hello?
FUCK YOU! *hangs up* 
WHAT WAS THAT!?!? I'LL FIND YOU, I HAVE CALLER ID!!!back ...
*shudders in excitement* ;w; i always wanted to do that ... ._. ... who did you call? o_o my mom ._.;; you are just the worst kind of person trust me, you haven't met her. if you think im bad, you ain't seen nuthin' *presses another button and a smaller cube with another button pops up* and that's how you'll be getting back; a teleporter. it can link to here and to Soun bae! be safe now, Amphy *puts the phone away, takes the cube, and presses the button on the smaller cube* ... *teleports* ... ._. why don't i get one of those things? -w- oh, the things i'd do with a link to Sou- -3- you're getting a shiny Charizard, be fucking grateful the pain ...since Soun flied off somewhere else, it didn't take Amphy to his precise location. but it did take them close. let's check Memorial Hill
*sighs* here lies my hopes and dreams. -_- why does that fine ass bitch pose like that all the damn time, am i not enough for her!? *appears* ... bae? oh, a Salandit holding a box ... -_- hey, ya little freak. Konikoni's that way *points* *eats his arm* 
AAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! *zooms off*i don't own Pokemon, Nuzlocke, or any references used