A Paranoid Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even mouse.
The Paranoid Puff sat curled up in her chair
In fear that St Nicholas soon would be there.
She dared not close her eyes, nor rest down her head
In case he would find her asleep on the bed,
And laugh at her favourite pink bunny pyjamas,
Then take many pictures in full panorama
To publish them all on his internet site.
No, Paranoid Puff would not slumber this night.
Poor old Puff knew the jolly fat man didnt like her
And would give her gifts to some hairy great biker.
Shed wired up the chimney with infrared sensors
And carefully positioned some garlic dispensers
(She couldnt rule out the chance Santa Claus might
Be a vampire well he does travel at night
And live at a pole where its dark half the year.
That sounds like a fellow with something to fear).
She also suspected he was an ex-spook,
As he was too stealthy for