The Chronicles of Korpikklani and Bellic: The Revelations of Jackyor Ens and Stan Macinfash Oops My Bad I Ment Jackyor Macinfash and Stan Ens Get Off My Case Mayne.
On this glorious day me and my brother Stan Ens were shopping in TJ Max for a knew pair of high heels. When.....Sorry I'm currently fighting back tears.....Our...Our good old friend Albert Einstein.....he was there....after 56 year...we saw him in line buying a sour pack of sour patch kids....We greeted him and he remembered us! He gladly told us that his theory was correct. But this is where it all his rock bottom...Stan told him that since he thought he was dead he went and took the credit for his theory....Albert then...gave us the look you see in the picture. And left, this time for good. God bless you where ever you may be, Albert.
We stood amidst the store aisle watching as our friend of 56 year... walked out on us... on a whim... We watched as he disappeared into the iridescent white light of the Monday night. The cold air gave us a shivering goose bumbs in th 91.3 F cold air that was cold. Sadness pinged and panged against our hearts as we wondered...What will we do now? Shall we buy a new guitar? Shall we drive a more powerful car? Shall we work straight through the night? No.. we thought as we ran into the fog of the midday sun.
We walked until we reached the corner of the circular pool in the Walgreens paring lot. We looked and pondered and scratched our head as we looked for Alberts. We never found him in the town and we retreated to our private house in The Bronx.
"Stan, to what will we do? I did not expect him to be angereded with you for what you did...Now I'm not sure we will ever find her. I mean him. I mean her but is it a him? Do you think it is possible to be impossible? We need to find him!" said Jackyor as he held back multiple tear from coming out his ear.
Stan simply nodded and damn near slapped his brother for worrying about such a petty situation. "We must check for him in Germany first, as it was where he and me was broguht up"
"Germany? But that's a block down the turnpike? You can't expect her to have just dilly dallyed over there by now. You're being irrrationalistic, brother." Jackyor said with a sadistic smirk while fondling his peach fuzz.
"Ah, I see that your perception of time is still flawed from when I blew up a firecracker next to your left nose." said Stan with a reassuring slime. "I am truly sorry about my past actions, brother."
"It wasn't that funny, but after that I did laugh. Maybe I should take you up on your offer." said Jackyor. "Although we did get banned from Germany...We should consult with Tom Kiernan on how to smug us up in there."
"You're right on this, we should consult Thomas on this matter." Stan replied as he got his gear together.
Jackyor and Stan walked to New Salert to meet up with their former mentor Thomas Kiernan. They slowly entered his dominion as Thomas awoke from his cryogenecally induced slumber. He walked toward the two men with a degenerative stupour and sat down in his Eems Chair (est. 1867).
"So what brings you here to my humble abode?" asked Tom
"Well, Sensei...You remember Albert Einstan? The kid you found rummaging through the garbade behind the school yard?" asked Jackyor. Tom could hear in his voice the pure sadden.
"Why yes I do. Strang little feller he was, huh? Boy could barely say a few words at the age of 9. Thought he was a goddamn idiot at first to be honest." Thomas said as he twisted his index finger in his beard.
Stan did not feel comfortable near Tom as he was never picked to be hall monitor. But his friend Albert was in mortal peril. "Albercht Einstein walked into a pure white abyss whilst we were in a TJC Penney and never saw him again."
"Tsk, it was TJ Max, Stan." Jackyor said in annoyance.
"Yeah, Kohls, sorry." Stan said with a cold, distant and slightly ambivalent tone in our voice
"As our was saying. 56 year ago he left after his bimbo of a wife said something utterly disgreasefull. Yet we found him in TJ MAX," Jackyor glared at Stan who just snorted. "And he seemed delighted to see us untill..welll Stan told him that he thought he was dead and took creadeit for his Theory of Relitivitiy. He then walked out on us and we can't find him."
"I see... we must take immediate action against the evil forces of Serious Samus" said Tom whilst turning his back to Satan and Jackyor.
"Kiernanan-sensei what do you have in mind? Back in ANBU they said you were the best stratigist in in Iwagakaure."
"Hm? I don't know why the hell you asking me you guys figure it out." Thomas-dono said as he took a seat on his park bench.
Stan's furious fury was growing bigger and bigger like one of those grow your own dinsaur spanges you get for your first-born son at a commune. "GAH!" Stan shouted as he let forth a single blow to his former mentor's stomach. "I COULD CRUSH YOU, YOU KNOW THAT?! I. COULD. CRUSH. YOU!"
"STAN, STAN CALM DOWN WITH THAT." pleaded Jackyor as he grabbed his Jugular to try and hold him back.
Stan proceeded to kick Thomas in the pulmonary artery upwards of 3 times or less. "I TRUSTED YOU!" he shouted in indignation.
Thomas looked at him apathetically and said "I could eat an entire can of alphabet soup and shit out a better rebuttal than that!" he began to laugh.
Stan proceeded to drop to the floor shuddering and crying. "You were my friend once Tom... what happened to us...?"
Seeing that Stan was going into propriatary shock, Jackyor needed to snap him out of it. Kneeling infront of him, he grabbed both of his shoulder. "Stan! You have to snap out of this! This is the reason we could never pass the chunnin exams back in 'Nam. What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"I guess I'll never learn to love another mens..." Stan said as he recomposed his composure "Thanks Tom... thanks for nothing..." Stan left the house and went on his own to find Albert.
Tears burned in Stans eyes, bluring his hearing. He walked where ever his head tilted. He didn't need them, he didn't need any of them! He'd find Albert himself and re-enstate him into the country all by himself. He continued until he walked up to a strangely familiaur door. '' Stan thought. He knocked. Jackyor and Thomas were surprising staring at him with weird looks on their face.
"You done yet, boy?" Thomas asked nonchelantleyly.
"Yesh, I'm sorry." said Stan as he couldn't bring himself to look the older man in the eye socket.
Tom was happy to see Stan again, so he decided to give him a advice. "Lookee here boy, Albert likes physics and anthropology, where do you find those things?"
"Saudi Arabia?" replied both boys innocently
"No you twits" Tom facepalmed "China"
"I knew that. So uh, if you expect us to catch up to him, can we barrow your vehicular Keirnan mobile?" asked Jackyor knowing the answer.
"Hell no, the fuck you think I am?" said Tom as he lit his cigar with a insent.
"I knew it. Well Stan off to China I guess." sighed Jackyor as he picked up his Parkour breifcase from the 67s.
Stan and Jackyor walked down the turnpike along the lake and came across a lone cactus stood there, upside-down, and Stan started to contemplate the meaning of his existance and beheld his eyes at the moment of apparitions.
Jackyor noticed Stan had paused. He looked back and saw the look of wonder and confusion in Stan's eyes as he did his biddings with the Shinigami. "Stan? You alright brother?
"E-everythings... so beautiful...." said Stan and at that moment it became clear he had smoked some peyote and ate some Norwegian Blowfish that he was allergic to.
"...Shit, Stan what did you buy from that Indian when we went to that 7/11?" asked Jackyor in a worried tone.
"I purchased some dizzy water..." repiled Stan.
:"That's what you said last time when you ate that Norwgien BlowFosh....SHIT!" Jackyor picked Stan up briddle style and ran to the nearest PortaPotty to go through the secrect portal to the Westbourow Bapist Church hospital.
"I NEED TO SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR NOW YOU BITCH. I AM GOING TO RAEP YOU!" Jackyor said in a calm manner to the recepstionest.
The bouncers threw Stan into a tabel with cocaine on the varnished surface. The bouncers punched Jackyour in the stomahec and he doubeld over. Stan awokened in ecstacy and breathed in.... and out.... in.... and out.... and his pupils growed large as the bouncers approached him in a menacing fashoin and Stan slowly ebbed into the cocaine high.
Stan quickly jumped onto the tables other side hitting a bouncher in the chin, decapitating him; tilting the table up like a shield and filled the room with an eery white powder. Stan then proceed to yell "I'M EXTREMEMLY FOCUSED RIGHT NAOW" whilst he picked up the table and charged the other bouncer through the wall and flattened him out like a tube of toothpaste. "Get up Jackyor!" Stan said has he picked him up and ran out of the building as it came crashing to the ground.
"......." Jackyor looked at Stan with the upmost confusion. "H-how in the blue blazing shit did you do that?"
"Eh, I don't know, puberty?"
"Fair enough" Jackyor said as he dusted of his 1982s basketball short shorts with a Larry Bird signiture on the back. He patted Stan on the shoulders and they continued their journey across the Atlantic Ocean border. Stan noticed Jackyor was breathing too heavily.
"You okay, mate?"
"No...I think they ruptured my collar bone when he kicked me." Jackyor said as he rubbed his testicular aloid.
Stan carries his brother across the atlantic to Cambridge, England where they say a very familiar looking, very white man with raven black hair that was wiry and unwashed and was mowing his lawn with his favorite rake which he had named "Timmy O'Toole". This was none other than Kelechukwu Rowland Okereke, the frontman of British pop sensation, The Doors.
"Who are you fine gentlemens?" asked the man, who Stan couldn't quite name.
"I need your special elixur to help my brothers's ruptured crossbone." said Stan with a pleading look on his finger.
".....This is illegal you know?" said the man with a smirk. "I like illegal."
The man led Stan and his wounded brother into his home where he let Jackyor stay until the man prepared his alaxar. "So, how long will it take for him to heal?"
"About 3-5 business days. So, what brings a gringo like you to the Cambridge badlands?"
"Well, it all started 15 years ago at the fall of the Roman empires when I was born..."
Stan told his story that lasted for three days and three nights, the nameless man seemed ever more intrigued into Stan's story. "...Well that about summed it up" said Stan out of breath, the nameless man simply took the antidote and administered it to Jackyor's wound.
"That'll learn ya..." said the man.
Jackyor suddenly awoke to see that his collarbone was growing spindles and fibres, connecting the broken segments of ossified tissue into one singular bone. "JESUS CHRIST!" exclaimed Jackyor as he jolted up from the napsack, falling onto the cold hardwood tiled floor.
"Wh-where am I?" asked Jackyor, releived that Stan was grinning widely at him. He then noticed a vagley familiur face next to him.
"I see you're as cheeky as ever." said Stan as he helped up his withered brother in arms.
Jackyor rubbed his shoulder and streteched. Putting the peices together he guessed that the dashing man next to Stan is the once who healed him. "Uh...thanks sir..."
"Don't mention it, guppy." the man smiled. "Now if you two would kindly get the hell out of here I can finish that porno I was watching."
The three gentlemen walked outside and witnessed the beautiful scene unfurl before them. The sun lowered and the rays of the sun indulged themselves into the deck of clouds overhead before bouncing out of the clouds and coating the sky and rolling hills in a warm pinkish-orange color.
As the wind picked up, the man started to walk back to his house and Stan lookied at hem and spoke "I never did catch your name..."
The man looked over his shoulder slightly, the wind blowing throught his thockly matted hurr "Syd... Syd Barrett..." he spoke softly and introspectively walked off into the distance.
The two gents walked into the sunset as their pappy told them it would always lead them home 50% of the time. They walked into the cold desert of the Sahara Desert and walked into Afghanistan where they saw a injured man with an injury holdin his shit doe.
"Hey, hey you alright man?" Jackyor asked as he and Stan jogged up to him, accessing the injuries.
"Naw mayne da nigga came out of nowheres doe, I was runnin wit a broken fuckin leg." the dark skinned man said.
"What's your name, my brotha." Stan said as Jackyor glared at him, knowing why he said "brotha".
"My name be Anquan "SoStrong" Boldin doe dog on dat infamous fuck boi." said Anquan
"Uhh yeah, okay so we need to get you some help. What happened?" asked Jackyor.
"Mayne but I dragged my fucken feet tho dog. I fumbled da fucken rock doe mayne." Anquan said.
"I have no idea what this nig- I mean guy is saying Jackyor." Stan said.
"Da hell you say pussy ass nigga?"
"GUYS CALM DOWN" yelled Jackyor as he rubbed his temples. "How is your other leg Anquan? can you limp on it if we support you?"
"Yea dog I can drag my fuckin feet tho boss." replied Anquan.
"Stan, help me get him up. I'll support him on the right side and you let him lean on your shoulder."
"...Alright but I'm burning this shirt later..." replied Stan as he helped Mr. Not So Strong at this current juncture Boldin up.
Anquan led them to his house where 5 Taliban members assaulted Stan and Jackyor and locked them in a makeshift prison, where it was revealed that Anquan was the Afghan dictator and ordered their arrest. They were to be executed at dawn the next day.
"Stan.....I know we haven't always had the best relationship. We've argued, fought, played with each others emotions and stuff like that. But I want you to know that I truly do love you, nii-san..." Jackyor poured his emotions out to his older brother.
Stan was finding very difficult to hold back tear. "T-that means alot little bro. I know I haven't been the best older brother, doing drugs, fucking girls, drinking acholahl, fucking more womans, I didn't set a good enough example for you. And I want you to know that I love you too." Stan hugged his little brother as they both cried. Then a obnoxious laugh could be heard.
"AHAHAAHAHAAH OH MY GOD THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WAS PRICELESS. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAH" Usain Bin Laden cackled and cuckled.
"Macinfash!" a gruff voice shouted "you're up!"
"I love you Stan..." he said crying. He walked into the hallway and picked something up off the table, and then proceeded to walk into the execution chamber
Jackyor waited until the man walked up to him, and then Jackyor pulled out a gun he had picked up from the table. The man grabbed his arm and twisted it around, throwing Jackyor to the floor on his back and disarming the gun. The executioner aimed the gun at Jackyor who had a grim smile on his face. The executioner developed a shocked look on his face as he realized the gun he was holding was empty and that Jackyor was laying on the ground with another gun pointed at the executioner. Jackyor had intentionally picked up two guns and unloaded one beforehand, so he could gain distance from the executioner and then kill him as he realized that the first gun wasn't loaded.
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. AND YOU WILL KNOW I AM THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE."
"BANG! BANG! SKEET! SKEET! NIGGA!" the sound of the gunshot made Stan cringe in agony as he was envisioning the death of his beloved brother.
"Well, that got the heart pumping."
Stan looked up so fast he was surprised his neck didn't break. "Jackyor?"
"Yes, my love?" Jackyor said with a smirk as he over the barrel of the gun.
"Jesus Christ don't be a smart ass I thought you were died!" yelled Stan!
"That sounds like a personal problem." Jackyor said as he flipped over the dead Taliban member and got the keys to get Stan out of the cage. "Let's bounce."
Stan and Jackyor set off again on their magickal quest to find Ulfrich Einstien. They wandered long and hard until they came to the outskrits of China where they saw millions of Taiwanese Pebo rye?
"You remember in our sophomore year of highschool when Mrs. Aisles asked us 'If we could have 500 of something prodomitnatly yellow, what would it be'?" Stan asked Jackyor.
"Yeah, why?" Jackyor asked as he munched on Crunch N' Munch.
"This is my dream come true." Stan said as he looked dreamingly at all da Azn pebo.
Jackyor faceplamed. "Just shut the fuck up, Stan."
Stan and Jackyor climbed the Tibetan plateau. It was a long arduous process but the brothers of Ens and Mackinfash united to lift them up, on the wings of an angel. They awoke on the edge of a summer atop a great peak they watched a hawk circle the land and lead them onto the edge of a winter as they slowly descended upon a secluded monastery where they would find the answer to their problems about finding Albert.
"This thing looks pretty old..Uh..how about you go in first." Jackyor suggested.
"That's what you said about KinkyLinx, now she's a whore living on the streets of New Hampsheiar."
"Whatever, you always make fun of my past girlfriends...Let's head inside."
"What past girlfriends?" Stan asked with a sensual look on his left asscheek.
"....Fuck you, that's who."
The two strapping young gentlemens entered the monastery to witness the monks floating in a meditative state and talking about how they havent eaten Orange Julius in 40 years.
"Hold on hold on I got this Jack. I've studied their native language for years." Stan said as he cleared his throat. "CHING CHANG CHUNG CHANG CHONG DU YU KNO HOW OR WHAI CHANG CHEI YELLAH NIGGUH...." It felt like the very Earth stopped spinning. Everything was dead silent.
".....That was fucking amazing...." Jackyor said quietly.
"ANNNNNNND That's how I saved a young girl from falling into a street sweeper...." Stan said. Slowly, every monk in the monestury started applauding.
"......I'm a badass...." Stan said.
Stan and Jackyor wandered through the monasterry and found the most devout monk in the institution. They looked at him and he looked at them with somniferous almond eyes that stared into Stan's very essence and soul.
Jackyor then bowed, smacking Stan on the arm for him to bow too. "It as an honor to meet you, what is your name?"
"MA NAME IS DE UH BUKLAU, B-U-K-L-A-U SAY IT WIT ME B COME ON B." said the Monk.
"Uh Yeah uh B-U-L-C and what not...I heerd that you could help banned people from germany get unbanned by the multiplayer gods, is this tru?"
"UH YES I CAN DU DAT FOR DA VEDY BIC BOI LIEK URSELF, BUT I NEEEEEEEED YOUOUOUUOUU TO DO SUMTHING FOR ME FIRST YES?" said Buklau.
"Sure...uh what do you need?" Jackyor asked, not knowing what to expect.
"I NEED YOUOUOUU TO PIC AP DE ORDER FOR ME FROM DA CHINESE TAKE OUT TODAI" Buklau said.
Stan was getting more and moar iriteated as Buklau continued to spew out 'sentences' "You know what fuck this, Jackyor let's get the hell out of this chink infested hell hole."
"Now you just wait a goddamn minute man. How do you expect us to find Alberto? This man is the only man who can help us. Now quit bitching and lets go pick AP dis order." Jackyor said.
Stan and Jackywhore reluctantly agreed to go 'pic ap de order' and started to walk backwards down the mountain by using the techniques Kiernan had taught them in their younger years. As they walked through Hong-Kong the smell of fresh vegetables, fish, fruit, eggrolls, cats and dogs for sale filled the air with a particular stench that Jackyor had adored since he was a small child and that Stan revolted hated all his life.
"God it smells like roasted ass out here. What store did that shithead want us to go to?" Stan asked, clearly not in the best of moods.
"Heh, someone on there period?" Jackyor asked.
"Dude I swear to god I'll punch you in the goddamn face if you don't shut the fuck up!" Stans snapped.
Jackyor started to tear up. "I..I just wanted to be your friend!" he yelled as he ran off to one of the alley ways.
Stan then jolted as he woke up from his daydream, Jackyor looking at him weirdly. "Why the hell did you space out again?"
"Traumatic memories" Stan spoke softly.
"I..I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up anything sensateve to your brian." Jackyor says as he said the thing in quotes.
Stan stood silently and then walked away quietly into the unknown.
"Jack... Jack. JACK!" Stan shouted as Jackyor awoke from his daydream.
"What..." replied a somewhat confused Jackyor. "Wait, what did you do?" Jackyehn said as he curressed his inner thigh looking for any spare rabbies Stan might have implanted into it.
"You damn idiot you were daydreaming again. Are we gonna go get that chinks order or are you gonna stand there creaming your briches all day?" Stan asked clearily annoyed with his surrogate uncle of a brother that's a shepard.
Stan walked into the crowds of people looking for Buklau's negro noodle with Jackyor in tow. Stan came across a mysterious man, crusty lookin thang... He had a black cape, black pants, black shirt, black hair, black people, and white skin. Stan appeared mesmerized by his tantalizing strip-tease.
"IN ALLLL OF THE LAND YOU YELLER GAIS BE STANDING IN ME WAY, " said the mystereous man with the black cape. "IF YOU LITTLE BUGGERS DON'T MOVE IM GOING TO HAVE TO USE EXTREME FORCE TIMES INERTIA TIMES 6 OF THE GRAVITY OF SPAIN TO REMOVE YOU FROM THIS!" the man ranted. Jackyor wanted to knock this man down a notch because his ego was big like one of those mini micro cars you could collect back in the 70s after americas economy got better when barack osamas grandfather sir allen the great first stepped foot in poland with a keg of Heiniken.
"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to move please, me and my brother Stan here need to pick up a order for a Sedgwich Monk." Jackyor asked somewhat politely with a bit of power into our voice.
The man slowly turned around with a look of displeasurement. "And who might you lads be?"
"It doesn't matter who it is just gimme all your money" Stan said in a fit of rage never seen in all of earths top layer of crust.
The man kicked at Stan, Stan jumped up and landed on his leg. The man and Stan stood in this way for 10 seconds until Stan punched the man in his very chiseled beard. The man stood there with a blank, evil expression on his face. The man jumped backward and Stan had a scared look on his face. The man laughed slightly. "Do you feel like wolf kabob roth vantage?" Stan stood there petrified as the man walked to Stan. The man punched Stan in the descending aortic arch and Stan collapsed to the floor shuddering and the man laughed harder. "Well god, its seems you're my only frined, seeing as how I invented ya". The man slowly extended his hand and exchanged a smile with Stan. He and Stan shook hands. "You've got ambition, but your technique is really sloppy. My name is Charles, Charles Manson, but my friends just call me Charlie."
Jackyor stood their bewildered. How could this man have bested Stan after 10 years of continues Krav Me-khan in Jewrusilam. "Uh C-charlie-san where did learn your algebraich combat skills?"
"Up on that plateu with them yeller guys who float and shit. They said sumthing about brak gais and how to disable their genetic code but I never paided any attention to all that shit." Charles said as he lit his pipe.
"Do you know Buklau?" asked Stan respectfully
"Why sure!" Charles exclaimed excitedly "There's a black Buklau in Florida, he's havin a good time"
"How about the one on the plateau?" asked Jackyor
"Yeah, me and him go back to the dark ages!" replied Charles.
"Will you accompany us to acquire the negro noodles he requires?" asked Stan
"Nope." and with that Charles walked off to be never seen again.
"What a quirky fellow." Jackyor assessed.
They proccedded to walk up to the Japanese docking yard to get Bulkaus's order from the Korean mexican barbeq. There was about 73.2 azn people with the tallest one peaking at 4' 54 inches feet. What, 73.2, you don't believe me? Ask 1/5th of Jenkins over there. They continued to cut infront of the mass population. When they got to the counter what they saw was an anomaly to the brain. A argonian viceroy wearing adept robes of alteration was cooking up a fantastic homemade fastfood meal that just happened to be burkrous order.
"Well, that was great timing." Jackyor said as he pulled out his froggy wallet named gama-chan. "How much will that be sir?"
The argonian stopped and glared at Jackyor with a fit of rage never seen in a few 15 minutes ago. "I am a female you twit, how dare you?!"
Stan wasn't having that shit. "How the hell are we supposed to know what gender your scally lookin ass may or may not look like under that tunic?" Stan just was NOT having it. "Give us our damn order now before I shove my foot so far up your mamary glan that you will be shitting out milk particles for a few minutes!" Stan said as he flipped over the stand, spilling all the indredients into a pile. In his fit of rage he back handed the pile of various foods and created the most ambitios meal in all of morrowind.
Jackyor pulled off his sunglasses "Mother of god...."
All the rittle asn pebo gasped at the surge of disrespect and murdering intent that rushed itself out of Stan at speeds unknown to azn pebo because of their diminuative athletic abirities.
"Let's get the hell out of here." Stan demanded to his little brother.
"You said it Scoob!" Stan replied.
Stan hurried his hobbily little ass along and gathereded the negro noodrehs and packed them in his 1956's baby blue hiking cargo shorts with a kitten on the right asscheek and on the left one it said "I am the Law" in pink rhinestones and silver sequins. Stan and Jackyor made it back to the mountain and began their acsent up the mountain by biking down the mountain. When Tobin Bell met them at the monastery gates and spoketh "None shall pass.".
Stan was at the upmost limit of his paciants. He lost it. Deep down inside he unlocked a hidden kekkei genkai that was passed down from his ancerstorial genes. He opened his eyes reviealing his new dojutsu. He had an ocean blue iris's with blue samon whales as his pupils. "FUCKING MOVE YOU BITCH!" He yelled as a invisible force pushed itself through Tobin's torso, creating a hole the size of Satans anus. Tobin's knees buckled under the preasure as his inverted nipples became irect. He died.
Stan stood adjacent to the door with one of his hands entering the monastary with a smirk on it's face. "Ladies first." He smirked.
"......." Jackyor stood there with a increadjulist look on his face as he couldn not muster up a single word from his ice box where his heart used to be.
"Aight den gurl Imma go in furst" Stan giggered as he walked past his hand.
"...I'm done..." Jackyor was done. He sat down on the porch to try to clear his brain. How could his nii-san be so much more powerful then him? He as dead last in the acadamy. Stan had no skills in the art of the ninja yet he was so much stronger. He was popped up outa his thoughts as he heard someone clear their throught.
"You coming in, darling?" Stan said leaning in the doorway with his hands crossed. Jackyor looked up with envy as he saw his brother's smirking face, mocking him with his Doujutsu.
"Yeah, yeah..." Jackyor said as he picked up his order ratherly angered.
With Jackyor still angered at Stans's rise to power and Stan looking very proud of himself for unlocking his newfound ability, they delievers Buklau his order.
"Here you go...now can you just get us in Germany without any goddamn trouble?" Jackyor said with a still angereded voice that he had the last time.
"BIC BOI Y DUH HELL U TALK TO ME IN DA FAFE LIEK DAT TODAI?" askred Buklou
"I don't wanna talk about it..." Jackyor said as he crossed his arms and pouted, glaring at Stan.
Stan looked at Buklau with is ever-piercing blue eyes and smiled at him with a glazed-over Teddy Roosevelt look. "Cmon brother, you can trust us."
"WELL TANK A U FOR DE PICK AP, HERE IS UR VEDY BIG PASPORT TO DA GERMANY TODAI" Buklau said as two red and white passports with a weird black cross symbol in the middle floated to Jackyor and Stan.
"Thanks...Buklau..." Jackyor said quietly as he slowly walked off. Stan could tell something was wrong with Jackyor and his emotions. He quietly followed behind him with a caring and somewhat narcissistic look on his face.
They walked down to the first floor where the balcony is and walked out of the monastury. Stan desided it was a good time to confront Jackyor as they acended down the mountiany plateu. "Uh..Jackyor. I'm not good with all this feely mushy emotional shit but are you okay, brother?" Stan gazed at Jackyor with a worried look, not knowing his doujutsu was still active.
Jackyor was mustering up the courage to say something when he turned around to look at his brother. His doujutsu was active and that angered him to no end. Stan did not diserved this. He did! He's the one who worked hard to get them out of that orphanage when their parents were drunk! Why did Stan have this power? "Just get away from me you bitch" Jackyor sneered as he walked up the downside of the mountian faster to get away from his brother.
"Jackyor STOP! If you have a problem with me consult with me like a mens and don't run away like a bitch! I DID NOTHING WRON-" Stan was shocked as his brother slipped on soy milk, decending down that mountian at a fast pace. His emotions going at 16 miles per second his doujutsu unlocked its second stage. He jumped off the corner of the mountian side and descended to try to save his beloved brother. He was too late as Jackyor slammed into the ground with the upmost force. "GODDAMMIT NO!"
Stan landed next to his brother with tears flowing out of his mistic doujutsu filled eyes. Jackyor's body was streched and strangled all about the land. His arm was extended 15 feet from his left torso and his right leg was rapped around his other right leg about 5 or so time. Stan tried to find his pulse but in Jackyor's new found state he couldn't. Stan thought he lost the only person he has left until he heard a someone arousing grunt from from his little brother. His adams apple was giddy with joy.
"Where am I? Sta- HOLY SHIT WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BODY!" Jackor yelled.
"I DON'T KNOW! IM JUST AS CONFOGLED AS YOU ARE!" replied Stan.
"Oh man oh man FIX ME OR SOMETHING!" Jackyor pleaded.
"Bro just calm down for a second! I just noticed a trend...through somewhat phyical emotional or physical stress we have gained powers! Just...try to pull yourself back together or something." Stans said with a lightbulb over his crainium.
"Uh....alright..." Jackyor envisioned himself in his normal state and suddenly his body slapped and wiggled back together in his original state of the human bodies.
"How the hell did you do that?!" Stan asked excidenliny.
"Jesus Hong I don't know but it's awesome!" Jackyor said, no longer being jealous of his brother. "...What did the five fingers say to the face?" Jackyor asked as he tried to contain a smirk.
"SLAP" Jackyor yelled as he extended his arm and slapped Stan in the cheekbone.
"YOU LITTLE SHIT" yelled Stan exquistely
Stan and Jackyor were gonna settle this debackle like true gentlemens. They both turned around and took three steps back. They turned back to face eachother and Stan yelled "ZANZIBAR KINGSTON ELTONJOHN" and the earth shook whilst a violent wind forced down trees. Jackyor became thin as a twig and the wind blew around him and Jackyor yelled "NIXON ROBERT CASIO" and his hand exploded to massive proportions and Jackyor drug it across the landscape to flatten Stan out like a piece of paper that was wet before but is dry currently. Stan was about to get hit but then screamed "MAXIMUS PYTHON SKYNET" and a blue forcefield engulfed Stan and protected him from harms way. "It seems we're at a standstill" Stan suggested. "Noep" said Jackyor "I'm kickin your ass". Stan threw a tree at Jackyor and Jack yelled "ROMNEY BISON TERELL" and his skin turned to stonelike hardness as the tree broke into splinters against his diamond cutting nipples. They were exhausted and both of them fell to the ground where they would remain until the next day.
Stan and Jackyor wakenth on 6 o clock am next Saturday. They both stood up, Jackyor's rubbery body feeling weak as his limbs swayed all over. Stan's eyes no longer had the doujutsu active because of his weakened state. They looked at each other with regret and remorse as they had regret and remorse for their previous fight. Brothers were not supposed to treat each other like this.
"Stan I-I'm sorry....that was uncalled for....I'm such a ungreatful bastard.." Jackyor said holding back a multiple tear.
"I'm sorry too brother...I'll NEVER let anything like that happen between us again do you understand me bro?" Stan said holding back a few less multiple tear.
They both hugged each other when all of a sudden they were surrounded by a bunch of yellow looking people, they were all crying at the beautiful display of effection between the two man. A few of the elder monks from that one building floated down to help their weakened brotheren. "You too have displayed the upmost care for another human beings I have ever witnessed in my lifes. I will grant you each one and only two wishes that I deem fit for wished." a rinkled up monk by the name of Omega Shenron said.
Both Stan and Jackyor were stunned by the display that was before them. Stan snapping out of his supper before Jackyor seized the oppertunitiy recumbent in front of them. "...I wish Syd Barret was here to see this..." Just then the the thockly matted hurr man appered in front of them with a satifying pop.
"Just when I thought I was done wanking you do this?" asked Syd with a perm.
Snapping out of his warrented stuppur now Jackyor realized the badness in Stan's actions. "Dude! You just wasted one of our wishes! I wish you didn't do stuff like that..."
"Wish granted..." stated Omega Shenron.
"WAIT NO THAT WASN'T MY WISH!!!" Jackyor yelled as Shenron turned into stone, flew 500.1 .meliniums in to the sky and flew to an multiple places on the planet. Syd and Stan fell to the floor, howling in laughter.
"....You basterds...." Jackyor mutted, clenching his penis tightly in his fists.
Stan rubbed his slight stubble. Syd also rubbed Stans stubble. "It seems we are in a multiple perdicaments."
"Why did you wasted our fucking wishes?" asked Jackyor
"When you're a driving young man in your early 20's, you really dont have much concern for others if they get in the way of your ambition." replied Stan with a smrik.
"That's besideses the point, brother." replied Jackyor hesitantly.
"Don't blame me fo' whatcha' done gone did" Syd said in the whitest voice he could muster.
"I'm done" replied Stan slightly.
Stan, Jackyor, and Syd walked off into the heart of the sunrise. Stan with his cargo shorts and striped shirt, Jackyor with his Larry Byrd short-shorts and purple button-up shirt, and Syd with his red poncho with a frilly white tube top over the top with steel toed sandles and some silk slacks from the 32s.
Syd stopped and looked at the two brothers and whispered. "Don't tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."