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Being a Supportive Friend

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By Spottedfire-cat   |   Watch
Published: April 2, 2014
© 2014 - 2019 Spottedfire-cat
Sometimes it's rough when you have or ARE a friend that has some sort of issue, or fear, or even condition. Being on the supportive side of it can be a bit difficult too; like how do you help without harming anyone?

I quickly made this because this is something extremely relevant to me (as i'm always on both sides or the thing), and I thought it might help some peeps who are having troubles finding a way to support their friends. Trying not to tell peeps how to handle their friendships or anything, and each situation and person is different, so yeah. e3e

And as a final and very important word, if someone says their being bothered by the situation or discussion, don't go "But we're talking because we care!" because that is actually manipulative mind poop. If what you're currently doing is only stressing the person out, stop. Good intent or not, what you're doing is harmful and you're doing the exact opposite of what you want to do. Take a step back and think things out; you'll get it eventually~
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Comments48
anonymous's avatar
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legoninjagogirl's avatar
legoninjagogirlStudent General Artist
aww it's so adorable and helpful about friends
waterpaw11's avatar
Thanks for the advice spotty! :) it's helped me a lot.
JayFox31's avatar
JayFox31Hobbyist Artist
it's so hard to get good friends who will abide by that. =o
punqq's avatar
punqqStudent Digital Artist
ikr
JayFox31's avatar
JayFox31Hobbyist Artist
Yus
punqq's avatar
punqqStudent Digital Artist
i shall quote one of the truest quotes ever
"they act like they love you, they act like they'll be there forever, and then one day that pack it all up and take their love with them!"
~mittens
JayFox31's avatar
JayFox31Hobbyist Artist
Huh... So true. I've been on both sides of the story. But I leave people because theirs a problem.
punqq's avatar
punqqStudent Digital Artist
i have had some of my closest friends attack me, then act like we're still friends
it hurts, ya know
JayFox31's avatar
JayFox31Hobbyist Artist
OMG, one of my ex's is just the worst about that.

she ignores me, puts me down, makes fun of me, won't play games with me anymore, and kinda just treats me crappy. And I practicaly walk on egg shells for her cus I liked her. And then she finds one thing to be a bitch about and basicaly tells me to fuck of and die.
Talonstar-SwiftClan's avatar
I love this so much, and I wish people would just be like this with me.
LithiaRose's avatar
This is cute and nice, like it
CoolKHgirl's avatar
CoolKHgirlHobbyist Digital Artist
i can understand,
i usually confort  my friend who has some emotionally promblem, she ususlly tell me or if i see somethings up i ask her
NekoMyuki's avatar
Great little explanation :3 
AlicornLuna123's avatar
AlicornLuna123Hobbyist Digital Artist
Spottedfire? YAY I FINALLY FOUND YOU ON DEVIANTART! I LOVE YOUR VIDS SO MUCH!
ImmaEmmaKitteh's avatar
ImmaEmmaKittehHobbyist General Artist
You go Spotty!
Frozenvolf's avatar
FrozenvolfProfessional Writer
THank you for the wonderful information Spotty. :) This will help me as much as possible. ^^
girlykitten's avatar
what about if my friend is cutting, and i can't get to them or contact someone who can get them help?
Spottedfire-cat's avatar
Spottedfire-catProfessional Digital Artist
That is a tricky situation because there is self harm involved. Since cutting usually boils down to severe depression, you really just have to be there and be that friend that's always there when they're sad. There are even alternatives to cutting if the behavior is addictive, and ones that are much safer in fact. If you really think something bad is about to go down you really must either contact their family or the authorities.

My advice is not to pound into them that they should stop, since sometimes peeps get that burst of stubbornness when they get told what to do when it's something they have strong feelings about. Instead, maybe help them find something that will make them not want to harm themselves and end it all, something to go on to the next day for. Again, this IS a tricky situation, and since you know the actual situation better than I you can probably think of a better, more personalized approach, and if you have really REALLY serious concerns you need to tell someone about it. If you know the address then that's all you need to call the authorities. There are also many Suicide Prevention things online, and I would really give them a look.

Otherwise, just be a caring friend that's there to listen to their darkest thoughts, and when you can let yourself be available when they're having those thoughts at the loneliest part of the night. I really hope that helps.
girlykitten's avatar
thanks. one more thing, i rarely get to see my cousin anymore, and the last time i saw her, i found out she was being abused by her mother. (the family already knows, but my cousin and her parents dissapeard and have not been in contact since i last saw her. :( )
kittycatr0x's avatar
kittycatr0xHobbyist General Artist
Abuse is a very serious thing and can be harmful to her now AND in the future. Talk to your parents about it, and if they won't do anything and you're afraid for her safety, you should probably contact the police. Even if it isn't an everyday occurrence, it's still serious and could affect her seriously. It's probably a good idea to look at other resources too, though. Here's some links to help:

www.community.nsw.gov.au/docs_…

psychcentral.com/ask-the-thera…

If those don't help, google is your friend.
girlykitten's avatar
thank you very much.
czmAvery's avatar
czmAveryHobbyist General Artist
Awwwww ... <3
Artisticbunny6's avatar
Artisticbunny6Student General Artist
totally agree
anonymous's avatar
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