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Past Sins: The Castle Of Nightmare P15 END


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For all to read!

Past Sins and Nyx (c) :iconpenstrokepony:
MLPFIM (c) Hasbro, :iconfyre-flye:
In honor of :iconrussiankolz: because he made a very awesome fancomic after the facts of this story
but he sadly left DA or changed his account

I really love my rendition of her bedroom :) It's absolutely what I envisioned and I hope it's yours too.

<<Chapter 1
<<Chapter 2
<<Chapter 3
<<Chapter 4
<<Chapter 5
<<Chapter 6
<<Chapter 7
<<Chapter 8
<<Chapter 9
<<Chapter 10

<<Previous - Next Chapter>>
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© 2016 - 2021 SpokenMind93
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CocoCandy2007's avatar


NorthStarSparkle's avatar
Apex-Jarico's avatar
Sooooo.... Ive been looking at this comic, while listening to both "Nimbus Productions" Audio drama of it, & official/unofficial soundtrack...

My God why I didn't know about the three of you sooner is beyond me? but oh well...

I've noticed some of the comments and commenters seem to have a lot of misconceptions about a great deal of your work? IDKY though. making personal decisions to fit a visual narrative rather then one with only words.  Personally I think I'd be bored if you made line for line to fit every word of the story. I don't rightly understand fans. =P like that one guy talking about personality disorder??? Whah? XD...

but enough of that. sorry...

BUT, Good Sir... Ma'am. . . are you really planning on drawing this WHOLE story out right? that'll be something amazing... truthfully, rather impressed that you manage to work on it this far. =P I'll be seeing the rest of Past Sins when I'm able...

I only stop here because I'm most likely going to die if I don't get sleep soon. =P.. XD... ttfn yes. =) night night yes.
SpokenMind93's avatar
Yes, I am planning to do the whole story ^^ And not planning on stopping any time soon :D

Thank you for the nice comment ^^
*clang* Berserk reference hahahaha 
SpokenMind93's avatar
Plain sound of swords hitting each other... no reference at all.
JewelPaws's avatar
Happy Pink Raven Quiet Dummy... or... Dummy Colt!!!! LOL XD I love this comic! I have been reading it for a few days and I have to say your drawing has really improved! It's really good. I have never seeen someone draw in a style like this as it is so unique and inspiring. I hope u keep on drawing and don't let any haters bring you down.
SpokenMind93's avatar
Sure :3 thank you!
JewelPaws's avatar
Just helping encourage artist makes my day :)
StormCutie's avatar


... Hold up.

Cupcakes and other pastries need ingredients, produced by things that came by sun. I guess those experiments under moonlight might come to good use after all
LadySolonna's avatar
Why take it on twilight?
PrincessFaeron's avatar
You know, this page is the perfect one to compare to the first few pages, since there are plenty of different angles in it.

And I must say, the amount of improvement since you started is incredible. I know I've said it before, but I'm still really impressed.

Some particularly noticeable style changes;

Your lines are a lot smoother than in the first few pages, your muzzles seem to have a more defined shape (and they seem to have lost the stick-outy ness some angles had that kept bothering me, so yay!), and your backgrounds are less plain and painting-y. It seems much closer to show-style, while still being unique, and it's incredible! You've also very much improved on expressions; there were a couple of pages in chapter two where none of the characters seemed very expressive, but that's long gone, and this page proves it!

The fact that you keep this comic up and running is especially impressive. I can safely say that I'd never be able to manage something like this! Whenever I try and start a long-lasting project I either abandon them so long that I need to start all over because my style has changed so much, or I end up going on and off with only the little details and barely get anything actually done, so the fact that you've stuck to this long enough to get so far in is just awe inspiring to me!

Congratulations, SaturnStar, you're now on the list of people I genuinely gush over (which has now been raised to 4). :happybounce: 
Now I'd better go to bed before I find myself up past midnight again.
SpokenMind93's avatar
Aww thank you so much ^^ Yeah I'm glad that I improved so much too :3
My vision of Nightmare Moon's bedroom varies from time to time, but I love your rendition, SaturnStar14.

And I have to say, you did a splendid job on Nightmare Moon's rage. The part where she strangles the Twilight Sparkle dummy, stomps on it, and then throws it across the room? That actually made me shudder a little. I say again: you did a splendid job.

Keep up the good work!
SpokenMind93's avatar
Yay ^^ Thank you very much for your comment.
Noooo!! Not the cupcakes they were Young, innocent and so delicious
ColonelBSacquet's avatar
Make her pay? For what? O_o
Well, well!  We've wrapped up Chapter 11, have we?  You're now officially half done with Past Sins!  That's much further than most fan projects reach!
     I like how far your art has come since your initial strips.  Your style has improved and you have gotten better with perspectives.  I like the way you draw Nyx, and your facial expressions work well on her. 
     That said, I do find your depiction of N's room to be a little vague.  I have difficulty getting my bearings here, and I have no clear idea where the various furnishings are.  Her bed looks a lot smaller than I had thought, though that may be a perspective issue.  I like your color scheme and decorative flair, though.  I think you might benefit by drawing up a floor plan of N's bedroom.  Nothing too elaborate, just a sketch of the room's shape and where the various pieces of furniture are located to flesh it out more. 
     Another bit of criticism (because I know you love that!) is N's temper tantrum / assault on the Twilight doll--I didn't think it was violent enough!  As you have it, it looks like she chokes the doll for a bit, and then steps on it.  I know it's supposed to be a stomp, but the way you depict it doesn't seem strong enough.  I must confess I don't know what I would do to fix it--perhaps an extra panel showing her violently bucking the doll under the desk?  Also, the desk itself doesn't look quite as detailed or ornate as I thought it would be--and it actually seems kind of small.  Of course, I can hand wave that; Nexus underestimated how tall his Queen actually would be, and bought a desk that seemed large to him but was actually small to her.

And now for your favorite part of my comments...The Snarkening!

Panel 1:  Nyx looks pretty disinterested here.  She's just done.  "Oh, this is my bedroom?  Good, I'm going to bed, I have a lot of scheming to do and I'm an early riser."  A lot has happened to her, hasn't it?

Panel 2:  N: "Just one question, Nexus; where's the bathroom?"
Nexus (eyes shrinking in horror): "The-the what?"
N: "The bathroom?  That room with a sink, a bath and a toilet?  And a fan, do tell me there's a fan, right?"
Nexus: "Uhhhhh..."

Panel 3:  "I'll make sure the D&D map is laid out and everything!"

Panel 4:  My comments are listed above.  Also, I just realized she doesn't have a nightstand.  But then, the original story doesn't mention one either.  Actually, now that I think about it, I question whether or now the cult only made a room to look nice, but hadn't thought about their Queen actually living in it...

Panel 5 and 6: Nightmare Night has it wrong!  The Bogey-Mare actually wants cupcakes, not candy!  ***Speaking of, and SPOILERS AHEAD:  Do you suppose after PAst Sins, foals try leaving candy on her doorstep instead of the statue?  Foal logic: Why give candy to a statue of Nightmare Moon when we can just leave it in front of her house?***

Panel 7: Ok, that picture of N happily chewing is really cute.  "MMM, dark chocolate!  My favorite!"

Panel 8:  "Wait, this is buttercream!  I wanted whipped!  CURSES!"

Panel 9 - 11:  While Princess Nyx's homicidal hatred of cupcakes did cause her subjects some concern, there was no doubt among them that this led to her being in much better shape than any of the other royal alicorns.  Equestria's stallions were particularly appreciative...

Panel 12:  And this, children, is how modern art is made!

...I kid.  This strip has more artistic integrity than modern art.

Panel 13: Gooooood, gooooood!  I can feel the hate flooowing through you!  Use your anger to fuel your power!

Panel 14 and 15:  N: "I find your lack of show-accurate details disturbing..."

Panel 16:  Actually, I like N's face her.  She's supposed to be furious, at least she thinks she is, but her expression is more pained that furious.  She seems to be in great distress, but is trying to deal with it by focusing on her rage. 

Panel 17: I know what would make this look more intense; have motion lines and several ghost images of N bringing her foot down on the doll with stuffing flying out of it; it would give a better impression of the beating that doll is taking.  Instead, she looks like she stepped on it and the doll made a "stomp" sound.

Panel 18:  Spell Nexus:  Greatest magical theorist of the age!  Founder of the Cult of Nightmare!  Re-animator of dread Nightmare Moon!

...Bought his Queen a desk without any drawers.

Panel 19:  "Twilight Sparkle Will pay.  She WILL tell me that story about the dragon, and I WILL have all the stories I want!  And I WILL make Pinkie Pie my head chef!  I WILL make Applejack the Head of Agriculture!  And I WILL make Rarity my personal seamstress, Fluttershy WILL be my head nurse, and I WILL send Rainbow Dash straight to the dungeon for crashing into Twilight!  MWAA-HA-Ha-Ha! 

And that's a wrap.  I can't wait to see what you have in store for Chapter 12!
The-PurplePony's avatar

The-PurplePony's avatar
I listen to this as I read this particular page it was Monumental!!!
lyrathelidragon's avatar
dang it! I miss-spelled princess.
lyrathelidragon's avatar
It comes to this at last I will no longer yield the sky, if they cannot love just one princes alone.

see the moon is rising, she has come to claim the heavens for her own.

and all will know the wonder of my dark enjeweld sky when all the world is wrapped in an eternal lullaby.


THE!!! NIGHT!!!!!!! TIME!!!!!!!!!!! HAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
karkovice1's avatar
Wow! This was unexpected.

Such a waste of a good tray of cupcakes, not to mention the effigy of her mother. :(

I'm surprised the noise of the tray hitting the door didn't alert the guards outside, or maybe they're not at their posts yet.
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