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In a relationship, from what point on would you consider your partner to be "cheating" on you with someone else? 

31%
62 deviants said If they kiss someone else
22%
44 deviants said If they tell someone else they have feelings for them
20%
40 deviants said If they flirt with someone else
17%
34 deviants said If they fall in love with someone else
5%
10 deviants said Only if they have sex with someone else
5%
10 deviants said Something else than that
1%
2 deviants said I wouldn't consider any of those cheating
0%
No deviants said If they are friends with people of the gender(s) they are attracted to

Devious Comments

:iconaskthegreyskull:
AskTheGreySkull Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist
Some of more than one.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I see :0
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:iconaskthegreyskull:
AskTheGreySkull Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist
These were just how far it can come for my view. It can begin from flirt and end on having sex.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, yea :XD:
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:iconaskthegreyskull:
AskTheGreySkull Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist
So, be careful taken ones. This might include you as well.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am aware? No need to be like that. I do trust my partner though.
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:iconaskthegreyskull:
AskTheGreySkull Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist
I meant you have to watch his deeds.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Her. My partner is female. And as I said, I trust her. :B
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(1 Reply)
:iconwynds:
wynds Featured By Owner Edited Nov 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist
the last relationship i was in ended because she cheated on me by kissing someone else.
i feel like what defines cheating is not necessarily the action, but how deliberate it was. by that, i mean, who kissed who first, who initiated the intimate action. like, if my girlfriend kissed someone else, i would definitely mind, but if someone else kissed her (and she did not reciprocate) i wouldn't mind as much, because it wasn't something she wanted. i don't care if they're flirting with someone else as long as they're joking. 
if they do have feelings for someone else and plan to pursue someone else, that doesn't mean they're cheaters, it means it's a bad relationship that should probably be broken off before anything actually bad happens.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahh, I see, sounds reasonable! Sorry to hear that happened to you D:
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:iconkatiasmore:
Katiasmore Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, if they had feelings for someone else (And I have no experience cause I've never been a relationship) then I'd think that clearly we're not meant to be. Its not exactly cheating, it just tells me that if he gets feelings for someone else then he doesn't love me, so I'd let him know, and he could dat the other chick if he wanted to. But if he is still in a relationship with me, and he tries to pursue those feelings, or goes even further, than he's definitely cheating. 
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If someone has feelings for someone else it does not, in ANY way, mean they do not love their current partner.
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:iconkatiasmore:
Katiasmore Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
.....But if they loved their current partner, they wouldn't need to look at anyone else. And I'm not just talking about love. I'm talking about REAL love, like, engaged going to be married kind of love. And if they don't see you as the only one, and they start feeling affection for someone else, than how does that mean that someday they could stop feeling affection for you if it grows stronger towards someone else? 
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I was talking about infatuation that grows while in a relationship, so we're talking about different things, it seems.
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:iconkatiasmore:
Katiasmore Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought we were talking about if your partner has feelings for someone else, whether or not that was considered cheating. 
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:iconblacklightning95:
BlackLightning95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist
In my eyes: when they Kiss someone else. Flirting is no cheating for me as long as it is just for "fun" to have fealings for someone else is even no cheating in my eyes. You can't controle that and just to have feelings is no cheating. The person can be on your side even they have feelings for someone else.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yea, indeed about the feelings thing. They can't help it!
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:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I would be a little hurt/concerned if they started flirting, but only if they started kissing someone (or you know, having sex with them whatever) I would be "HOLD UP. CHEETAR"
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahh, understandable!
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:iconcreature-of-chaos:
Creature-of-Chaos Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
If they physically interact (touching/a hug that lasted a little too long/kissing). :I 
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yea, that'd make me jealous too if it was too intimate :XD:
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:iconbigal29:
BigAl29 Featured By Owner Edited Nov 23, 2014
I would probably say "only if they have sex with someone else."

The safe choice is too pick the "if they tell someone else they have feelings," because then you can deal with it early before cheating becomes a real issue. Talk it out, and if you can't work it out, separate and move on. Or stay together and hope for good results.

Anything else on the list can be misconstrued as something simpler, though I've known people who would probably choose "if they were friends."

... granted I've never been in a genuine relationship before so its all a moot point. :(
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahh, I see :P
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:iconchedtim:
Chedtim Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hmmm. Tricky tricky. I don't consider falling in love with someone else or admitting this to someone else "cheating" per say, but if you continue to be in a relationship with someone you no longer have feelings for then it's leading them on- which is nearly or even just as bad as cheating, in my opinion.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It depends, actually. Sometimes people keep going in order to get through it and come out stronger in the end.
In love, you often start with the fluttering feeling that is heavy and infatuation - but it's not love. And those feelings fade eventually, yes. But that doesn't mean your relationship has to end there, it just changes. And then it's more love than infatuation.
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:iconchedtim:
Chedtim Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I was thinking in the case that all feelings for your current partner are gone, but if that isn't the case then is certainly makes sense to keep going uwu
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
//Comments for 500th time as usual\\ 

 So I was reading the comments with people saying flirting and kissing and things aren't really considered cheating but they are pretty much close to it.

If you are with someone and you fall in love with someone else no you can't help that but you shouldn't keep dragging the person behind if you love someone else.

If they tell someone else they have feelings for them, if they flirt with someone else, if they kiss someone else, if they have sex with someone else, if they fall in love with someone else, THEY AREN'T REALLY YOURS. Why waste your time with someone who isn't 100% into you?

(By 100% percent into you I don't mean that they can't hang out with people and all that jazz)
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:iconemberguard:
Emberguard Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014   General Artist
If you are with someone and you fall in love with someone else no you can't help that but you shouldn't keep dragging the person behind if you love someone else.

That's fine if you're still single. It's no good saying you should stop being with the person you're already with because you've started to develop feelings for someone else if you've already married someone. Marriage is for life. It's a promise and shouldn't be taken taken lightly. While we can't 100% control our feelings, we can tell when we're starting to be attracted to someone and take measures to keep that under control. The best thing would be not to develop a relationship with that particular person before it gets too far. 
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's fine if you're still single. It's no good saying you should stop being with the person you're already with because you've started to develop feelings for someone else 
develop feelings for someone else 

There is a difference between feelings and LOVE and i said love. You should only love ~romantically~ one person in your life

Marriage is for life.

Yes it is that is why you don't rush into it incase something like this happens. What if you marry someone and you think it's love but then this person comes along and you realize you were in love with the wrong person and now you're stuck with them?

The best thing would be not to develop a relationship with that particular person before it gets too far. 

Yes exactly what I just said so pretty sure we were on the same page????
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
But keep in mind that "falling in love" doesn't always mean "this person is better for you than your significant other, go with them instead". Feelings are often nothing more than, well, feelings. It doesn't mean the new person is a better match. Often it's just infatuation, which isn't deep love. Sometimes people decide to ignore the new feelings and keep going for their partner. And that's perfectly fine.

Of course, if a new person IS a better match, then that does apply yes.

But yea I see!
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very true. Sometimes infatuation can be mistaken for love but in certain circumstances infatuation can lead to other types of forms of "cheating" kissing, flirting, etc. 
~~Please excuse every example I am about to give because I'm bad at wording my.... words?~~

Exhibit A: 
If someone has infatuation for someone where the chances of them being in a relationship are impossible.. should I say "out of the other persons league" Like me loving Zac Efron or Taylor Swift, Impossible to ever have a chance with them then it's alright.

Exhibit B: 
You're in class and the person you kind of like this person that sits next to you but the person you are dating doesn't go to your school, or live near you at all; you are more likely to do things or end up doing something considered cheating and 

Exhibit C:
You're in class and you are sitting next to the person you are dating, person G, but you kind of like person A though, still, it is easier in this certain situation to kind of (uhg idk how to explain this) like start ignoring G while staring dreamily at A...

You say it could just be infatuation and you choose to ignore it but tbh that's hard to ignore. It's almost impossible. It's just going to make you go mad. You need to take a break with the person you are dating. Infatuation could be a sign of starting to stray from your partner. It may just be the first sign of many that you may be unhappy.

But who knows I've been a single pringle all my life.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You may say it's hard to ignore, but I just experience things differently :XD: The fact that a feeling is there doesn't mean you have to act on it.
And it doesn't matter if it's there - you can just let it be and not actually cheat on your partner. It's fine to enjoy interacting with your crush, but that doesn't mean you have to go as far as to make out with them. Infatuation will fade, eventually. You can just choose to blindly follow it but that means you will be led out of your relationship every time you develop feelings, and you might never settle. Of course, if that is how one chooses to live, that's their decision.

I just wouldn't do it the way you said it, I wouldn't take a break because it's just a chemical reaction and doesn't and shouldn't matter, not for me at least. So far there is no proof whatsoever that infatuation is a sign that you don't like your current partner, that you are unhappy or want something else. Of course, if it IS the case, then it's best to break up, for the sake of your old AND new partner. But as for me, I've had a lot of crushes in my life, even two or three (maybe even more at once), and it just doesn't matter to me really :XD: They don't even HAVE to be there in a relationship, sometimes a good bond works just as fine - or better.
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
TOO SMART  I see what you're saying. And yes I agree people handle certain things certain ways. As for me, I just just feel like my infatuation would just make me really confused with what I want. But that makes sense I guess because I honestly don't know much about myself.. I don't even know what my favorite color is tbh.. the squid hat for the tard rainbow cry 
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahh, I see! That's normal at a young age, don't worry about it :P
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If they fall in love with someone else
If they tell someone else they have feelings for them
If they flirt with someone else
If they kiss someone else
If they have sex with someone else
all of these
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:iconblacklightning95:
BlackLightning95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist
When they Fall in love dosen't mean that the Person will left you or don't love you anymore.
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Are you saying that if someone falls in love with someone else it doesn't mean they don't love them anymore? I think that's what you are saying. That's true and I never said that they don't still love them but it's not the same to love two people at once~romantically at least.
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:iconblacklightning95:
BlackLightning95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist
Well but you can't controle your feelings. As long as the Person will be at your side and still love you it's no cheating. Cheating is something What you make What you can controle so it can't be cheating. Sure it is Not the same but just be cause it's Not the same it's no cheating.
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I never said it was cheating???? I said it just seems like something that will be a sign of future complications.
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:iconblacklightning95:
BlackLightning95 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist
Erm. And why did you write "if they fall in love with someone else" xD
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:iconkittykatwarrior:
KittyKatWarrior Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
-.-
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:iconblacklightning95:
BlackLightning95 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Hobbyist
That's a normal question... you don't need to be angry...
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(1 Reply)
:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Why if they fall in love?
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:iconrain-bowy:
Rain-bowy Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All of them except for the friends part. xD
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah. :XD:
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:iconmillenniatrishadow:
MillenniaTrishadow Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I say if they fall in love. They can fuck, flirt, kiss, and even fondle all they want, we married on love and to give that to a non-family member of your is unfaithful. I shall never unfaith, unless she decides to fall in love again; to do that is to forfeit me.
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You can't help who you fall in love with though... You don't control that.
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:iconmillenniatrishadow:
MillenniaTrishadow Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
True, but that would mean that they never truly loved you. I actually don't believe in love. I used to but I just don't feel it anymore. You seem to believe though. Tell me, what is love to you?
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:iconspitfiresonice:
SpitfiresOnIce Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No, it doesn't have to mean that. That's infatuation. It's not the same.
I've felt infatuation many times. It's a heavy, fluttery feeling that basically sends you on a rollercoaster. And it's fun, and heavy, and often painful, but it will fade away. You can have it for anyone. For people who aren't good for you, for people you don't even know.
Basically, if you develop that feeling for someone else, it means nothing. It's a chemical reaction in your brain, not a deep bond.

Love is much deeper. And even more, love can exist without the fluttery feeling and vice versa. Love is calmer. It's more of a deep emotional bond with the other person, and it does not happen often, and certainly not with people you don't know at all.

Infatuation, nowadays, means nothing to me now that I had the deeper feeling, because I know that infatuation is unreliable. It goes away. Love, if it's true, remains.

This all sounds so deep, I should go to bed probably
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:iconmillenniatrishadow:
MillenniaTrishadow Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Interesting, but you really needed to clear that up for me. I appreciate your analysis. Thank you.
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