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i haven't updated DA with what happened, so i'll just copy pasta what i had on FA // tw : abuse
my mom tried to strangle me, i ran away from home, left my pets behind because I'd rather have them there where they can be taken care of. I miss my dogs so much, but there's not much i can do. I'm couch-crashing atm, I don't want to say where in case my mom somehow gets into the laptop i left behind, or my ipad that she refused to give me while I was trying to get away. I have very little clothing, no personal items aside form a blanket, my phone, laptop and drawing tablet, but i owe the world to those of you that sent me money, especially the couple that covered the paypal charge-back with a little left over. I was able to buy essentials - a toothbrush + toothpaste, hairbrush, deoderant, shampoo, soap etc. through walmart pay after transferring to my bank.
I wasn't able to grab my debit card or many other things, but i do have my driver's license, so i'll see if i can somehow get to the bank either today or tomorrow. my car is hidden away somewhere else, and i'm terrified to go outside.
I honestly don't know what i'm going to do next, i'm very scared and uncomfortable. I dont know how to explain this to relatives that weren't directly involved - both of my sisters, my niece, and my sister-in-law know about it, but they all live within five minutes of my house. I have two relatives in separate states that might be able to have me stay there, one of which might be able to give me a job at their business.
I feel really empty and numb, I think my head is trying to block out everything that happened. there are times where i just really want to break down, but i don't want the person i'm staying with to feel uncomfortable if they see me. everything my mom said to me just keeps replaying in my head, every time i close my eyes to nap i have dreams of what happened - me trying to get my stuff, her yelling. even though all of this happened I still feel so guilty - i don't know how she's going to get to work, since i always take her. i should be angry, i should be hurt, but all i do is worry. there are bruises on my face and neck, deep scratches everywhere she grabbed me.
i wish i could have my baby boy Lucky with me, he's turning 12 years old in a couple of weeks. if i do leave the state, i'm taking him with me - i just can't leave him behind, he's everything I have. my sister in law went over, i gave her my chickens, and she told my sister he's very sad / hiding, has his tail tucked away and it just breaks my heart.
my old coworkers called me and offered to take me to the state fair, i don't have money to spend there - i'm hoping i can maybe maybe maybe sell a couple characters to cover the admission fee + maybe buy a water bottle to take. i just really hope i can get my mind off of things while we're there. my dad used to take me to the fair, i need some good memories, good vibes.
thank you for all of your help, and love, and support - the willingness to take a stranger in is just unbelievably heartwarming. i don't feel so alone anymore.
i'm also sorry for not replying to a lot of notes i've recieved - i promise i've read them all, i just haven't had the chance to sit down and reflect on what to say.
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my mom tried to strangle me, i ran away from home, left my pets behind because I'd rather have them there where they can be taken care of. I miss my dogs so much, but there's not much i can do. I'm couch-crashing atm, I don't want to say where in case my mom somehow gets into the laptop i left behind, or my ipad that she refused to give me while I was trying to get away. I have very little clothing, no personal items aside form a blanket, my phone, laptop and drawing tablet, but i owe the world to those of you that sent me money, especially the couple that covered the paypal charge-back with a little left over. I was able to buy essentials - a toothbrush + toothpaste, hairbrush, deoderant, shampoo, soap etc. through walmart pay after transferring to my bank.
I wasn't able to grab my debit card or many other things, but i do have my driver's license, so i'll see if i can somehow get to the bank either today or tomorrow. my car is hidden away somewhere else, and i'm terrified to go outside.
I honestly don't know what i'm going to do next, i'm very scared and uncomfortable. I dont know how to explain this to relatives that weren't directly involved - both of my sisters, my niece, and my sister-in-law know about it, but they all live within five minutes of my house. I have two relatives in separate states that might be able to have me stay there, one of which might be able to give me a job at their business.
I feel really empty and numb, I think my head is trying to block out everything that happened. there are times where i just really want to break down, but i don't want the person i'm staying with to feel uncomfortable if they see me. everything my mom said to me just keeps replaying in my head, every time i close my eyes to nap i have dreams of what happened - me trying to get my stuff, her yelling. even though all of this happened I still feel so guilty - i don't know how she's going to get to work, since i always take her. i should be angry, i should be hurt, but all i do is worry. there are bruises on my face and neck, deep scratches everywhere she grabbed me.
i wish i could have my baby boy Lucky with me, he's turning 12 years old in a couple of weeks. if i do leave the state, i'm taking him with me - i just can't leave him behind, he's everything I have. my sister in law went over, i gave her my chickens, and she told my sister he's very sad / hiding, has his tail tucked away and it just breaks my heart.
my old coworkers called me and offered to take me to the state fair, i don't have money to spend there - i'm hoping i can maybe maybe maybe sell a couple characters to cover the admission fee + maybe buy a water bottle to take. i just really hope i can get my mind off of things while we're there. my dad used to take me to the fair, i need some good memories, good vibes.
thank you for all of your help, and love, and support - the willingness to take a stranger in is just unbelievably heartwarming. i don't feel so alone anymore.
i'm also sorry for not replying to a lot of notes i've recieved - i promise i've read them all, i just haven't had the chance to sit down and reflect on what to say.
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Comments4
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I'm so sorry this happened, I can't imagine of anything worse to happen to a person. I'm glad you're still holding up and you're finding a way to get through this and I seriously hope everything works out for you. I wish I had money to spare to donate to you but I'm broke right now, maybe I can find 5 dollars to give. I know it probably seems really hard right now but if there's people that love you, they'll help you out. I know I'm a complete stranger but if you have a skype I'm more than willing to add you, I've never been through something like this myself but I want to help people and I'd listen if you ever needed someone to talk to, though I'm sure you have friends that are helping too. Also this is really stupid to offer but can I do a piece of gift art for you, if I can find the time. I know it's not money or anything but I just hope even crappy art like mine can bring you a little joy.