Well, as a few of you who've been keeping up with me know I had my last major eye surgery (cataracts removed and a new lens put in) the other day and a vitrectomy (aka. getting the big cloud of goo that was blocking my vision sucked out of my eye) about two weeks ago. Since then I’ve been in the healing process and hoping against hope that I might finally get my vision back after a long and very turbulent period where I was terrified it might never happen, that I might end up going blind.
There were a lot of times that overwhelming fear took hold of me, and the longer things stretched out with seemingly no clear end in sight with more and more complications piling up, I admit, the more thoughts of suicide crossed my mind. It wasn’t just the thought of losing my eyesight, which was scary enough on its own, but the thought that I might never be able to draw again that was the most devastating. I may not be some big important artist, but (as I’m sure many of you here on DA can understand) so much of who and what I am is wrapped up in my art. Right before all this started I wanted to look into selling my art for the first time, so my eyes getting all fucked up sent everything to a screeching halt. All I could do was wait, put my trust in my doctors, and hope against hope that after all this surgery I'd at least get enough of my sight back to be able to pick up a pencil again, or use a digital art program without getting terrible eye strain and a fuckton of frustration.
Well, what I ended up getting… is nothing short of miraculous.
As I sit here typing this, my computer screen looks crystal clear… and I’m not even wearing glasses! I don’t need them anymore! Keep in mind I haven’t been able to see without glasses since I was in seventh grade (a long damn time ago, truth be known ), give or take, and even before all this other crap started I was legally blind without them. Now I don’t even need them to drive. Now it’s not perfect 20/20 vision and I’m going to need reading glasses (also I still look like I lost a fight since one eye is pretty swollen lol ), but I can now see better without glasses than I’ve been able to see with them for the last several years. I am… just amazed. It hasn’t even quite hit me yet, I think. It’s weird reaching up to adjust my glasses and realizing they’re not there, or seeing everything as it actually is and not all distorted by my thick lenses. I’m still getting used to it, but still, getting cataract surgery was probably the best thing I’ve ever done.
And now… oh man… I have a SHITTON of catching up to do haha Catching up on art, on comments, notes, friends, and just everyday things I hadn’t felt the will to bother with like catching up on Netflix XD But I’mma try my best, so I hope you’ll all be patient with me (ah hell, you guys always are ^u^)
I also wanted to thank all of you who’ve stuck by me the whole way. There’s no way I could have gotten through some of those really tough days without your support, kind words, and well-wishes It meant a lot knowing I had people rooting for me to make it through this long shitstorm and wanting to see my dumb Invader ZIM art again From the bottom of my heart, and also the top, the inside and the outside, thank you :*) I love you guys. Aaaamd now I’m crying... again lol ^^ But yeah, you’re just the best
I’ll see ya later! (“See” ya later… ha ha, seeeee what I did there? Durr hurr XD)