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Crone Smurf by SparklinBurgndy Crone Smurf by SparklinBurgndy
I'm a fan of the Smurfs, but not exactly in the fandom.  I watched the Smurfs as a child but for my generation that's like saying I played outside.  Of course you did, because that's what a normal childhood looked like. They've started putting the old episodes on youtube and I actually have the two movies with Neil Patrick Harris.  I didn't think I would enjoy them, but when they slipped in  Mac Feegle in the form of Gutsy, I had to check it out.  

For you non Terry Pratchett fans, he has some creatures called the Nac Mac Feegle/ Wee Free Men that are tongue planted firmly in cheek spoofs of the Smurfs, injected with extreme strength, violence, and Scottishness.  Gutsy Smurf is an extremely strong, action-y, Scottish Smurf.  They're cute movies; I quite enjoyed them, but I doubt they'll be making any more since the voice actors for both Papa Smurf and Clumsy are dead now. (sad)

Anyhoo, I'm still stressed over joblessness, but I doubt very much I'll hear anything back until after the New Year because that's just the way it goes.  So I'm trying to punch through months and months of art block with something simple that I don't have to have too much practice or skill to be pleased with.  Oh, I know!  I'll draw a Smurf!

So I started with the good old "What would I look like as _____?" which is why she has curly hair.  I wasn't really pleased at all until I put a brim on her hat, then it just took off.  I wanted to put her in a color because apparently wearing colors in the smurf world is how you show authority.  Papa Smurf wears red, Grandpa Smurf wears yellow, and in the episode King Smurf, where Brainy started messing with everyone's head and declared himself King, he started wearing yellow, too.  So, red and yellow are out . . . not pink  . . . oh, how about purple?

Then this little ditty popped into my head:

 When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple! 

Jenny Joseph

I actually colored her hat red at first, but with the blue skin and purple robe it just looked horrible, so I downgraded it to wearing purple.  She does look like the sort that spends her pension on brandy and Smurfs wear slippers all the time, so she's going barefoot in the rainy woods.  The way she's holding that bowl suggests she's gathering ingredients for a potion.  What it does we're probably better off not knowing.

Hardcore Smurfs fans are going: Wait a minute!  There's only two female Smurfs! Smurfette and Sassette! (Or Smurfette and Vexie in the movies) and they're both magical creations!  Female Smurfs do not occur naturally! Where did Crone Smurf come from?

No idea.  I didn't put that much thought into it.  Maybe later.  For now, go drink some brandy; you'll feel better.
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:iconzikore:
Zikore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
She looks absolutely beautiful. ^.^ (As a hardcore smurf fan, everyone forgets poor Nanny smurf. XD)
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I sure did. XD

It wasn't until I hit Smurfs wiki that I even heard of her.  So if Grandpa Smurf is Papa Smurf's father, does that make nanny his mother?  I'm confused.
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:iconzikore:
Zikore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
Nanny's origins haven't been revealed other than she was elderly 500 years before she was found due to the effects of being trapped in a magical castle. Grandpa Smurf knew her back then, but other than that it was never expounded on.

Smurfs origins are confusing in general. They're delivered by stork to the village every blue moon, but other than that there's no explanation on where the babies come from. There is another movie coming out this April that's supposed to expound on it, though I'm unsure if it'll be official Peyo canon or another Sony AU. ^.^ Either way I'm stoked to see it. :D
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I know, it looks good!

Yeah, I know.  'Once in a blue moon' yet all the canon smurfs are 100 years old.  So the storks dumped 99 infants on Papa at once?  That must have been a living nightmare.

I like the Sony AU specials, like the Legend of Smurfy Hollow, but seriously, how do all these smurfs have different accents? They live in the same place! That's not how accents work! XD

I'm torn on which I prefer.  I mean, I know Baby Smurf got saddled with 'You'll be the next Papa Smurf!' and that a lot to dump on a kid who doesn't even have a name yet.  I mean, what if he grows up to be I'm Not Prone to Fits of Violence, I Just Get These Headaches Smurf?





That sounds more like a Feegle name, doesn't it?
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:iconzikore:
Zikore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
That many kids at once would be terrifying. o.o Papa would have to employ some kind of magic to take care of them all by himself. XD (Technically it's 98 as squirrels raised Wild, but honestly that's too many still.)

Maybe it's some kind of magical Foreign Accent Syndrome? X3

I like most of the media, which kinda shows given I write fanfiction in a hodge-podge AU. ^.^; Poor Baby does have a lot of expectations saddled on him.

I really need to start on Pratchet. I've heard so many good things. >.>;

XD I've found it cute that the Feegles are supposed to be spoofs of the smurfs and then Sony went and spoofed a spoof into their movie. 
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I know!  I wasn't even sure I wanted to see the movie but I saw a cardboard stand in a movie theater with all the main charactes. I saw Gutsy and I was like: That's a Feegle.  I know it's a Smurf movie and Feegles are spoofs of the Smurfs, but that's a Feegle!  A spoof of a spoof of a spoof! That's like a spoof cubed!

And yes you do need to read Pratchett!  It will be the best decision you'll make all year!

Short of like, getting married or having a baby or something. The best 'little' decision you'll make all year.
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:iconzikore:
Zikore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
I think I'll make a pit stop at my local library. X3 This is gonna be Jim Butcher all over again, I just know it. 
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Even better than Jim Butcher!
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(1 Reply)
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Whooohoooohooooooo!!! I've always enjoyed that poem and she looks like she's up to something innnteresting (with or without the brandy says Mama Otter who uncorked the Scumble jar).
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
(You have to serve it in wooden tankards, because of what it does to metal.)  I'm very tempted to draw her drinking with Nanny Ogg, exchanging filthy jokes, with Smurfette and Magrat sitting nearby, looking appalled/bewildered.
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:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
O please do! That would be hilarious just for the faces of Magrat and Smurfette! Crone is just such a versatile character, never mind the cross-overs!
Dooo Eeeet!!! You know you want to!Heart Love Mrs. Otterton - Icon 
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:iconsunstroke-art:
sunstroke-art Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You as a smurf!!!! 
YES!!!
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so tempted to draw her drinking with Nanny Ogg.  Both Magrat and Smurfette sitting nearby, looking appalled/bewildered by the jokes being told . . . . Hey, the Discworld has the Nac Mac Feegle! She could be someone's kelda!
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:iconsunstroke-art:
sunstroke-art Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You SHOULD do this!!!
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
If female smurfs don't occur naturally, then how do they breed...?

And this is absolutely adorable. :) I'm sorry about the joblessness. I hope things get better.
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
They don't; the storks bring new babies. XD

Smurfette was created by Gargamel as a honey-trap on the assumption that female smurfs must exist he just hadn't seen any.  He was wrong.  Originally they were written to be sexless, genderless magic creatures but somewhere along the line they decided to add one chick.  And then a second one. For 99 males.
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
Yeah that's nightmare fuel right there. What happens when a smurf dies?
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually, speaking of nightmare fuel . . . . 

There was an episode I remember seeing as a child and I haven't seen it again.  It'll probably only be released with one of those 'This was okay at the time!' warnings on it.

One of Smurfette's forest pixie friends is getting married. And Smurfette wonders if she'll ever want to get married and who she would marry if she did.  She goes about her day and as she interacts with each of the male smurfs she'll suddenly stop and go 'Hmmmmm' and cue a little dream sequence about what she imagines being married to that particular smurf would be like.  So far, nothing you wouldn't put in front of 6 - 10 year olds.  Then she goes to Papa Smurf and explains how she's been wondering if she'll ever want to get married and what she imagines being married to Hefty/Handy/Clumsy/Whoever would be like.  Papa Smurf gives her the old, listen to your heart, it will tell you blah, blah, blah. 

And then right before she goes to leave, Papa Smurf stops her and very gently and shyly suggests that *he* would make a very good husband.  Smurfette stares at him blankly and he immediately tries to laugh it off, like haha, forget I said anything and all but shoves her out of the door.  Smurfette starts to go 'Hmmmmmm' then shakes her head and is like: Nah! (that's supposed to be the joke by the way) 

I mean at first blush it sounds creepy as hell and the animation from the show wasn't exactly stellar but I remember that he wouldn't even look her in the eye while he was speaking.  He just kept staring at the floor and shuffling his feet. His voice actor really interjected a tone of 'Oh god, please kill me for saying this out loud.'

The episode didn't show Papa then locking himself in his mushroom and getting blitzed out of his skull on Smurfberry cordial, but I'm forced to assume that's what happened.  I was like seven and all I could think was how lonely and sad did Papa have to be to even make that suggestion?  And then instantly bail on it and spending the rest of the day hiding in shame?  
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
Awwww.... that is REALLY sad. I mean Smurfette is clearly way too young for him and he knows it, but it does imply he is desperately lonely. :(
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
If reading too much into children's cartoons is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
Hug 
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Uh . . . . I don't know. They probably just go chill with Father Time or something.
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
No, like... they're magical creatures. Do they do something special?

"Papa Smurf! Clumsy Smurf is about to die!"

"Oh no! Hit the deck everybody!"

BOOOOOOOM!!!

"Hey he turned into raspberry shortcake!"
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Hedgehogs.  I bet they turn into hedgehogs.  Those always look like they're pissed about something that happened a long time ago.  
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:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
ROFL! That would be awesome!
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:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Smurf wiki (yes, that's a thing) says smurfs regularly make it into the 1000's and one is only brought by storks every 500 years so I guess we're into elf rules now.
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