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New me

Journal Entry: Tue Mar 9, 2010, 3:16 PM
Sometimes all it takes is... to take some time off. Time off and time away from things than make you happy, make you sad or let you dangle somewhere in between. You've got the love, they say... and I believe.

Beyond Imagination by sparkica

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
Sometimes I think I have everything to lose and nothing to gain. But then... hey, if you have nothing (a dog, a bike and a brain don't count), you can't lose everything. See the logic behind this induction? :)

Let's take everything as a challenge, shall we? :D
  • Listening to: Have Love, Will Travel
Weird days, actually. Not loving anyone in particular, just the notion of love itself.

Read somewhere "The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears." True, isn't it?

Feeling a bit empty, but not blue or down. Observing people go by, putting a spell on them: to see and feel each other.

Pretty much going with the flow the rest of the time.
  • Listening to: Natasha Atlas - I put a spell on you
  • Reading: Merde happens
Yea right. But they will ;) Eventually.
  • Listening to: Hip hop :)
  • Reading: The Madman's Tale by J. Katzenbach
From time to time everything seems so fucking meaningless, especially when I'm at my wit's end with personal relationship(s). But hey! c'est la vie :) Hairy and smelly, but most of the time just beautiful (if you know what to look at).

There is so much (creative) to be done ... so there's no room and no time for depression.

Reminder to myself: no more conversation, a little more action, please :)
  • Listening to: Elvis vs JXL - A little less conversation
Tišina. Silence. Silenzio. Stille. Silencio. Silêncio.
  • Listening to: Pearl Jam - Nothing as it seems
Long time no publish ... well, stuff that bothers me isn't quite motivating.

I really miss my sense of humour. If you find it wandering alone on the street, please send it back to me. Yes, you pay the postage :D

Now ... back to work. All of you :D
  • Listening to: Chris Isaak - I want U to want me
  • Reading: PhD related stuff
I believe I'm falling in love...

Maybe this Wednesday brings something big :heart: into my Future

... and for a change there is hope for The (perfect) kiss ;)
  • Listening to: Justin Steere - I'm falling in love
  • Reading: Hundred Years of Solitude
Ignition started some time ago
It was seen from the spaceship above
Smolder inside, forgotten feelings, smile
Hands and laughter
Can't explain
Cause it's gone

Moving forward, letting silly past behind
Revolution of perspective

I'm here and I'm everywhere
I'm there and I'm nowhere

Ignition started some time ago
But now it's time to burn inside
  • Listening to: Macy Gray - Sexual revolution
  • Reading: Hundred Years of Solitude
Some things remain for life,
while words are gone for good;
at the end -- who asks the question?

Is it a black bird twisted by the winds?
Is it a young woman deprived of Happiness?
Is it an old man regaining Feelings for Her?
Is it you? Or is it me? Is it us?

No one asks the question, because it's lost...
All the words just disappeared,
only tears of a small giant running from my eyes --
they know the question and the answer,
not you, not me, not me...
  • Reading: Hundred Years of Solitude
Tons of things happened...

First, I gave myself a present. I bought web domain and some server power for my (new-old) blog. Designing a childish design for it ate most of my free time...
Second, I had to return the photo camera for a while. No camera, no photos and therefore no motivation...
Third, my dog Nuba underwent a surgery. She had a tumor, but it seems she will be fine eventually. At least I hope so.

Sooo... I have to say this out loud: I'VE MISSED YOU ALL.
I also noticed Deviantart changed a bit and I LIKE IT! :D Especially the thumbnails of your works...

I'm back. It's good to be back and to be a little devious from time to time ;)
  • Listening to: Craig David - Walking away
  • Reading: Painting from the inside out
  • Watching: My deviantfriends' galleries
Let me see if I can change my mood emoticon. Or would I really have to stay eager forever? :D

Yey! I did it. Now I'll be awestruck for quite a while :D
  • Listening to: Bad to the bone
  • Reading: The World According to Bertie (44 Scotland Street)
  • Watching: Itsy bitsy spider hanging from my lamp
If someone (hopefully at least one person) wondered where I am and why I 'm not leaving any comments for your great works... I was in Finland for a week. And now I'm back and not a bit blue :D

New week, new challenges, new problems for old solutions :D

Btw. I just can't change my mood for this journal entry. I guess I'll have to be eager for ever :D This is not too bad :D
  • Drinking: Tee
I'm officially changing my perspective. I diagnosed myself with bipolar mood disorder (although I'm not qualified to do this :D ), not severe one though ;) It's time to act and it's time to change. Swinging from depression to almost euphoria is no fun, especially if this affects everything else in your life.

From now on, less sad thoughts, no more longing, less depressive days, but more action, more socializing, more sun, more kisses and more fun instead. :heart:

Thank you for your support in my gloomy days and for sharing laughter with me on my euphoric days :heart:

It is also time to replace my camera. With a new perspective a new camera is also required :D
I'll probably buy one of the Nikon's, I'm just not sure which one. And I'll also have to make a research about which lenses to buy. I definitely need one for macro shots. I'm a small person, near to the ground and I see all sorts of small things :D Just look at the animalia in my gallery ;) And then I need one for other occasions. Obviously not everything and everyone is small enough to be taken with a macro lens :D

Any suggestions, recommendations on cameras and/or lenses? Please? ;)
  • Listening to: Korn ft. Xzibit - Fight the Power
  • Drinking: Coffee
I found a photo of a perfect kiss... a kiss I would like to receive one day. A kiss out of joy, happiness, pure spontaneous passion, in the heat of one special moment...

I'm writing about this one:
V-J Day Kiss by Alfred Eisenstaedt in 1945.

Maybe I'm just too demanding :D
  • Listening to: QoStA - No one knows
  • Drinking: Roibos tee
An (online) friend of mine was trying to produce some meaningful anagrams of his name. I just had to try it for myself (for my name of course).

Here is what I got out of my name in Slovene :D

E, TV MALI JEČAR? (Uhm, TV is a small jailer?)
I, LEČA JE MRTVA... (Wow, a lense is dead...)
JE TAM ČIR LEVA? (Is there a lion's ulcer?)

Now go and try it for yourself :D It's fun.
  • Listening to: System of a Down - Hypnotize
  • Reading: Blogs
  • Watching: Tons of papers on my desk
  • Playing: With my hair
  • Eating: Imaginary chocolate
  • Drinking: Coffee
May is over. Finally :D
I decided I don't wanna feel shitty anymore. And now, today, I don't. As simple as that.
  • Listening to: Birds outside
  • Watching: Sunny day
  • Drinking: Coffee
Skycaptain save me if you can
I'll give my one last breath to you
Love me like I'm yours to keep
Hug me before I step into oblivion

Skycaptain don't get lost this time
Find me and save me if you can
Tell me the time is just right to Be
Leave doors open and bring some joy

Wake me, save me
  • Watching: Frost on hearts
  • Drinking: Coffee
Bla bla bla bla bla :D

Yes, I'm fine, thank you :D I just feel a bit devilish right now :D
  • Reading: Comments
  • Watching: Fly flying by my head
  • Eating: Air
  • Drinking: Vitamin B in water
All doubt is gone. Decision is final. Nothing is going to happen. I will remain.

But that's ok. I expected this anyway...
  • Listening to: Coldplay - Clocks
  • Reading: J. Herbert - Portent