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hello there

2 min read

long time no see you wonderful people!! this is ayacinth/chillisart here

over the months i've been gone i've done some thinking, drawing etc and i've actually started to draw sonic again, mainly on twitter (which i've linked above) so I figured i could probably restart here too!!

truth be told i missed drawing sonic b/c it gives me something fun to draw besides all my uni work... so i'm gonna try my best to upload more regularly, so hello again everyone o/

also gently promoting my gf here bc shes starting to use her account again and her art is lovely: :iconmurasoda: ♥♥♥♥

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hoo dis

2 min read
hey everyone!

it dawned on me earlier today that since I've been pretty inactive on here, that the last personal information I actually presented on here formally was... years ago! so this is some sort of a reintroduction journal, as it were, as the last time i actually did this i was like, 15 years old haha. a lot of people knew me as rose, xifox, chilli, but none of those names are ones i use anymore (especially the latter) and im a totally different person identity wise now, so i think this is looooong overdue!

so, hello!
my name is clover! clover  I am nonbinary and use he/she/they pronouns, i'm bisexual and i'm an 18 year old Concept Art student. i'm particularly fond of FFXIV, overwatch, Voltron: Legendary defender and other assorted games (COUGHSONICCOUGH)and TV shows/animes! i have a gorgeous datemate whom i love with all my heart and an assortment of wonderful friends and I spend my time calling and play videogames with them, and drawing far too many furries.

i think that wraps it up neatly! it feels nice to properly reintroduce myself Pusheen : : Free to Use 
hope everyone's doing good! I'd love to hear how everyone's been, feel free 2 comment and lemme know :heart:
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Hello everyone!

It's 2017 already, goodness. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year and I wish happiness and prosperity to everyone following me! :aww: :heart: Hopefully this year will bring good news and good opportunity!

I get very pensive, and as the title of this journal will suggest, nostalgic around this time of year. I just spent 20 minutes reading through the earliest journals on this account from when I was 13 (screams quietly) and even some ones from 2015, and it's rather jarring to realise i'm an entirely different person now. I'm not surprised I had half the trouble come to me that I did while I was in the furry and sonic fandoms respectively -- I really was a fighty little shit; I had backchat ready for anything and I was so, so defensive >_>''
Incredibly embarrassing, but sobering nonetheless. It almost makes me thank my depression for making me grow up and mature, seeing the world in a different, albeit numb and sadder perspective, because even if I am kind of jaded and anxious, I'm a better person than I was years ago, and that's something that comforts me in an odd sense. Nobody can hate me more than I already hate myself, amirite /fingerguns

That leads me onto the main point of this journal. I want to thank every single person who's followed me over the years and watched me grow, I joined this website and garnered my first following when I was barely 12 years old (yes, I got banned multiple times haha), and I've spent the majority of my childhood online. One of the cons is that I did and said very very distasteful things in the past, showing a very ugly side of who I was, and despite that I still had people following me and supporting my artwork, even if it was quietly through favourites and I've come to realise that, since I'm coming out of a mental low point, that not being able to share my work recently and getting that creative feedback made me feel... Purposeless, in a sense. It supported me more than I realised, despite all the anxiety I got with it.

I also, on the off chance that anyone reads this who I had the dreaded Drama™ with, want to sincerely apologise to those who I have wronged. As I said, I was fighty, defensive, and didn't know what I was doing half of the time. Instead of picking fights with those who hurt me, I should've analysed and thought about why they were doing it in the first place -- half of them being troubled young people too, who just wanted help or attention.
I told myself that letting go will make me healthier, so to start the new year, in the vague hope that they may end up reading this, I forgive you and I am sorry for any negative and unfounded actions I had during these altercations. 

This got kind of lengthier than I thought, I forgot how good journals are to splay out your jumbled up brain processes haha. Anyway, I hope y'all had fun reading that, but for a tl;dr: I'm sorry to those I've hurt, I forgive those who've hurt me, and I love every single one of you who support me and I wish everyone a wonderful new year, and I'm hoping to start uploading more art! :love: :heart:

peace out, for now! :peace:
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GASP, i actually posted a journal?! quick someone tell me what year it is

nah i'm joking -- again its another apology journal for sporadic activity and uploads. life right now for me is really good and I'm moving to university in a few days, which means more inactivity, and... yeah. unfortunately my good life right now does not include deviantart activity ; __ ;

this post was gonna be longer but the bottom line is that this account is a dead-zone. If i make a new account for those who arent 'ghost followers'/those who still wanna see my OC stuff i will definitely post it/let everyone know! but for now, I'm not sure what I'll be posting and when. to those who have supported me for years now, even, i thank you from the bottom of my heart <3 

until next time, whenever that is o/
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new speedpaint!

1 min read
sooo after my channel clearout i put the first new video up! its a speedpaint of the paladin flame:

and I FINALLY got video thumbnails... FINALLY.... i hope i get a nice editing style lOL for now theyre a little plain,, anyway i hope ppl enjoy it, its been a while since I made one : D
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hello there by spacecoloniie, journal

hoo dis by spacecoloniie, journal

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