literature

Pithos

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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
November 26, 2021
Suggested by JustACapharnaum
SoundlessWhispers's avatar
Published:
13 Comments
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Literature Text

The stars were a calamity

that shook in my ribs, glittering

fool’s gold in Pandora’s breast,

the milk of mothers spilling

into the universe like a slit vein


My voice was a lunar eclipse

in the shadow of an empire;

a wheel to Apollo’s chariot

eight spokes like eight pillars,

a mill churning the waters.

But in the froth

I saw the clouds hand-whipped

into shapes, and I saw fog descending

like blindfolds; I saw Everest shivering.

I saw apologies like corpses -

trees felled to cup handwriting like stillborns -

necessary casualties in war.

I read that apology like a love letter,

as if words could build bridges,

but the view out of my window

is still bare


Apollo peers in without blinking,

and I burn

I try to fold my limbs
into constellations,
as if I can fit in that sky,
that bleeding river of life
and death

--

I've been dreaming in comet trail footprints, but I don't know if I am wandering past a nebula or an impending supernova.
© 2021 - 2022 SoundlessWhispers
Comments13
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Midn1ghtInk's avatar

That moment when all seems so lost and pointless and your own voice is distant like a lunar eclipse, something a person wouldn't even notice unless it was pointed out... this is when written apologies are to me the most trite, the hardest to read, they look so absurd on a cheerful coffee table. I loved your piece, these are the images, the scents, the sounds your words bring to me. Congrats on your DD 🖤 I'm sorry if this all came out rather disjointed

mehronjoon's avatar

Great range of imagery. So many things to like here. I personally enjoy cosmic / stellar references and like your opening. It is colorful. When I look a bit deeper in this, I wonder if I am seeing a cataclysmic event, an argument, and then an attempt at reconciliation. Feeling like one's voice has no impact, the arguing seemed pointless ("My voice was ... in the shadow of an empire.") Fog descending, Everest shivering -- the world seems to be breaking down as a result of this conflict, it is overwhelming, all hell is breaking loose. I like your implication that the apology was not enough -- hence the bare view. I was wondering if you referred to Apollo for any particular reason, or was that more creative inspiration/impulse/just seemed to fit?

SoundlessWhispers's avatar

I really enjoyed reading your interpretation!! It was nice to see the piece through someone else's eyes, and to see how effectively I conveyed the message. Your interpretation is spot on! I wrote the piece to encompass an important relationship breaking down: that "stuck between a rock and a hard place" moment when it's realized that, despite the best efforts to revitalize a relationship, it is one-sided, and the bond is already dead. As for referring to Apollo, I wanted something to symbolize the sun: both physically and metaphorically shining light on something and allowing growth. I went with Apollo for his solar aspects, as well as his affinity for prophecy. It's hard to face that truth of losing someone you love, and denial or desperate attempts to repair are natural reactions. In my case, I knew that one-sided efforts wouldn't change anything, but I tried anyway hoping for a different outcome. Accepting the truth, no matter how much it hurt, became imperative in me being able to walk away and start moving on.


Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate you gifting so much time to this piece

segura2112's avatar

Oh wow, that was stunning! Thank You and congrats on the DD.

SoundlessWhispers's avatar

Thank you! :) I appreciate your thoughts on the piece

LindArtz's avatar

Brav0!!! Plastic Applause Beautiful work!!!! Congrats on your much Deserved, DD!!! :thumbsup::D

For My Personal Use Only
SoundlessWhispers's avatar
Malintra-Shadowmoon's avatar

Congratulations on your well-deserved DD. :)

SoundlessWhispers's avatar

I'm very honored to have received it. Thank you for featuring!

Malintra-Shadowmoon's avatar

You are so welcome. :)

xlntwtch's avatar

Disturbing in all the right ways - the images burn, and impress with their grandeur. Congratulations on your DD! :love:

SoundlessWhispers's avatar

I'm so happy to hear that :) Thank you for the feedback!

gliitchlord's avatar

i like this journey

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