It's a simple thing, really. I work three jobs, and depending on how big is the translation load, I can either pay the bills in full (medical bills, utility bills, monthly debt payments), or I am short anywhere up to 200 eu. Now that mum got her disability, and it turned out to be such a mockery at her, and at the poverty we are in, I understood a gruesome truth: This, for me, is not going to be a year to pay off their (parents) debts, so they can get on their feet and I can leave. No. I have them for the rest of my life. Because what they get is not enough to pay the bills.
With no one there to help me (I have an older sibling, but all family turns away from those who are in need, as is such a common feat in life), and with no one there who cares about me, I call quits. And before you go on a rant of how selfish it is to doom my parents into a fate worse than poverty with winter (winters here tend to stay below freezing), let me tell you, that even with me around that'll be the case. For we simply can't afford to get through winter.
So my plan is to get my paychecks and exhaust them on all things they need. And then once the day comes when there is no more: I... Let's say, expire. If I'm not here, maybe my sibling will be kind enough to move in with parents, since she uses mum as free nanny anyway, and they'll have somewhat of a life.
If anyone reads this, which I doubt for very obvious reasons, be sure I don't care to hear how "it might get better". I am at the point where I don't care if it gets better. I exhausted all my options. I did all I could and then some.
I'll fake a smile for as long as I can, that much I promise