Commission Examples: Iorveth, Faoiltiarna Isengrim, Yaevinn
You ever been so close and yet so far away from a finish line? You probably have and thus can imagine.
Neither much time, nor much of the debts remain, meaning they're pressing in. Repossession would mean a loss of two jobs for me, and those two are the only thing that kept us above water, barely. Every month I am short to cover everything, all the bills, all the medical expenses. On top of that, it has been made worse: insulin for my father is no longer compensated. Electricity just got more expensive. Heating is wrecking havoc on the bills, and due to it being central and non-adjustable - there's nothing to be done but pay up.
Yet I write this with hope. Because they gave us an extra month of time. And because another debt we got still has until August. So all I need to do is make it through these two months, and that's the catch really.
I think stress has finally gotten the better of me. I am unable to eat, and when I do, I can't keep it down. My stomach feels like it's on fire. My muscles are cramping up badly too, even the ones in my arms. Insomnia is as bad as it was ten years prior, when I first faced what it's like to have medical debts no one can pay but you. When I first faced the need to give up myself so someone else has a chance at life.
Back then I gave all I had to help my mother survive cancer. And she only did due to your help, and that of my closest friends. Yet last week something happened again, she fell ill, got sick, and the pain intensified. Yes, she still lives without a hip joint, broken arm ligaments, and extreme pain in her back. On top of it, something in her heart is atrophying, I don't know the medical term in English, sorry. And she got asthma for which meds are also not compensated. Every time she gets sick - I worry out of my mind.
And if that wasn't good enough, my diabetic father fell ill too. He has heart problems, and requires a lot of different medications just to keep him feeling normal, functioning. His chest has been hurting to a point where he couldn't function though.
I've no plan right now. I rely on hope to not go mad, and on broth to keep functioning, working. Everything depends on my jobs, and my jobs depend on this damn debt. It's a strange sensation to be both mad and sad.
You wouldn't bear me talking about myself here. Rather ask me about any of those personal-space pages, I have plenty. Soukyan [JRV]
Current Residence: Sugar Devil Swamp
Favourite cartoon character: [Anime] Mello, Ryuuk
Personal Quote: Choosers can eat beggars
Tumblr [personal]: kidonzydrate.tumblr.com
Tumblr [for art]: soukyan.tumblr.com/
Instagram @ Kidonzydrate